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sumlynmad
...bonds...
Member since 4/07 2080 total posts
Name: Summer
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i just want to help all CIO moms....
I swear i am the CIO advocate...a couple of women on here have called me to find out how i did it bc i swear by this method...
okay, heres the deal....some moms just let them cry and dont go in to them at all....some go in every 10 minutes....
heres what worked for me 2 times (both DDs...and took all advice from my sister- who it work for 7 times, and dr ferber...)
make sure u have your watch with you, and be prepared- that first nite usually isnt too much fun, and ull probly sleep a little less as well......
this is the progressive waiting approach...
so, nite one: progression is 3 minutes, 5, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10....
nite 2: 5 minutes, 7, 10, 13, 13, 13, 13....
nite 3: 7 minutes, 10, 13, 15, 15, 15....
nite 4 (usually not needed) 10, 13, 15, 17, 17, 17....
progress as such if needed for more than 4 nites...
these times simply mean this:
when DD/DS starts to cry, look at your watch, after the 3 minute mark, go in, pat rub back tell them in a STERN voice "mommy's here, i love you, but its time for nite nite...its nite nite time, ill see you in the morning, mommys here...." do not stay in the room for longer than 1-2 minutes...the point is to reassure them that u havent left nor are abandoning them...and i say STERN voice bc, well, dont use your mommy voice, that soft voice that they love so much...be stern and matter of fact....
the crying will probly intensify as you leave the room, but look at your watch again as u leave, and you wait until they have been crying for 5 minutes before you go in again....repeat at 7 minutes, 10 10 10....etc...
BUT, and this is a HHHHUUUUGGGEEEEE but....
if, at any time, they stop crying or start to whimper, do not go in!! even if you are do to go in, dont- this is a sign they are soothing themselves, which is what you want....and another hug but...say you are on a 10 minute wait, and at 7 minutes they stopped crying, but a minute later, started crying again, this does not mean wait 2 minutes and go in...this means, you RESET the CLOCK!!! make sure they are crying the full amount of time....(might soudn harsh, but nites one with hannah and emerson, you actually find you dont go into their room too much because they are off and on with the crying and never make it to the full time that i was supposed to be waiting....)
and thats that, continue with nite 2, and for me, nite 3 was a breeze....
oh yeah, and put them down awake, but sleepy...if that means you put them down 30 minutes later than the time you would normally, then do that....this method teaches them how to soothe themselves to sleep, instead of using your boob (emerson!!) or being rocked (hannah!!)...etc etc
use this method for naps as well, the only difference for a nap, is if they have been crying for 30 minutes, just take them out- if they fall asleep on the floor of another room or wherever, this is okay, as long as they arent using the bottle or the boob or the rocking to fall asleep....
thats all i got....hope this helps some of you sleepless moms...it sure helped me- i had it BAD!!! emerson, only fell asleep to being nursed- she woke up every 45 minutes for about 5 months...i jupmed the gun, used CIO at 5.5 months bc i just couldnt take it anymore, and now she does great- down around 8, sometimes shell cry around that 11pm (but this is her first arousal after the heavy REM sleep, and i think she just has to adjust to where she is or something, and then goes right back to sleep until about 6 am- in wich case, i go in, nurse her, and lay her back down until about 8am....ill cut out that nursing session around the 10 month mark though....)
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Posted 12/20/08 11:55 AM |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
In a word - WOW!! I've had a couple of questions, and BAM - you answered them in this post.
Thank you
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Posted 12/20/08 12:00 PM |
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2kids2cats
My babies
Member since 6/05 5229 total posts
Name: f
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Great advice and it really DOES work! DS is 5 months and in a week or so I'm going to start this with naps because he's a terrible napper and I know he needs the rest!
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Posted 12/20/08 12:19 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
just added this post to my notebook, thanks!
So what age should you start letting them CIO?
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Posted 12/20/08 12:36 PM |
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2kids2cats
My babies
Member since 6/05 5229 total posts
Name: f
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by Nicole728
just added this post to my notebook, thanks!
So what age should you start letting them CIO?
With my DD (my first) I didn't start until about 9 or 10 months. It was hard...I should have done it sooner!
With my DS (now 5 months), I am not as sympathetic lol, because I know he is okay...I do it for small intervals when I can't take walking him around anymore some days when he should be napping. I haven't done it full force yet but I probably will within a week or so.
"They" say you should not start before 6 months. HTH!
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Posted 12/20/08 12:41 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
i did the same thing with DS at 8 mos and by the 2nd night it took 25 mins or so and the 3rd night was 5 min and done. I didn't have specific times but I made sure it was at least 2 minutes longer with each visit unless he was completely freaking (which I think only happened twice) worked like a charm. I made sure to say night night or nothing when I layed him down (nothing more)
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Posted 12/20/08 1:01 PM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Thank you!
If only I had seen this post before letting DS cry for an hour & a half He whimpered himself to sleep finally but only slept 24 minutes & woke wide awake.
I will be showing this to DH. We are disagreeing how to or if we should be doing this.
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Posted 12/20/08 1:08 PM |
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teacherwheart
LIF Infant
Member since 3/06 347 total posts
Name: Tara
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
oh thanks so much, i think im going to stat it with my DS this week who just turned 6 mos. he doesnt really need it for night but man does he need it for naps, he does not nap longer then 30 minutes no matter how tired but then again i nurse him to sleep, big mistake i know
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Posted 12/20/08 1:08 PM |
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CurlyQ
Member since 6/07 2024 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Great advice! Thank you. I have a question. My DD goes down fine, but is up at 10:30 and then again around 3. Do I do this same method each time she wakes?
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Posted 12/20/08 1:35 PM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by CurlyQ
Great advice! Thank you. I have a question. My DD goes down fine, but is up at 10:30 and then again around 3. Do I do this same method each time she wakes?
Wondering the same thing because DS clearly doesn't need to eat at night, so he isnt waking from hunger.
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Posted 12/20/08 2:07 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
I think this is very helpful, but I want to just add that this type of CIO doesn't work with ALL babies. My DS would FREAK if we went in there, so we had to just stay out. It was tough, but we thought CIO didn't work for us b/c we'd try this way and it DID end up working, but on DS' terms.
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Posted 12/20/08 2:10 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by maybeajunebaby
Posted by CurlyQ
Great advice! Thank you. I have a question. My DD goes down fine, but is up at 10:30 and then again around 3. Do I do this same method each time she wakes?
Wondering the same thing because DS clearly doesn't need to eat at night, so he isnt waking from hunger.
Yes. If you are sure that DC doesn't need to eat (mine did, he didn't eat a lot during the day) then you just either do this method or just don't go in.
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Posted 12/20/08 2:14 PM |
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smiles
Life is good!
Member since 2/06 1450 total posts
Name: S
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by KateDevine
I think this is very helpful, but I want to just add that this type of CIO doesn't work with ALL babies. My DS would FREAK if we went in there, so we had to just stay out. It was tough, but we thought CIO didn't work for us b/c we'd try this way and it DID end up working, but on DS' terms.
We had the same issue. If I went in it only made it worse. I bit the bullet and just stayed out of the room. It did work though and I only had to do it for two nights with both my kids.
If they woke in the middle of the night I would go in and make sure they were not wet or something was not wrong and then I would do it the same as if I had just put them down.
GL to everyone trying it.
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Posted 12/20/08 2:31 PM |
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sumlynmad
...bonds...
Member since 4/07 2080 total posts
Name: Summer
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
well, you go thru the progression every time they wake up...babies will wake up a few times a night (as does everyone else in the world...)...if you are on the 3 minute wait, thats what you wait, every time they wake up....if u are on nite 3, and are on a 7 minute initial wait, u wait that long....
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Posted 12/20/08 3:40 PM |
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babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Thanks!
I do have a question though, DS can self soothe and will put himself to sleep, we did CIO similar to this, but sometimes he will wake up at 4 am and cry for over 20 min until I usually give in and nurse him. What should I do to get him over this? The problem is that he had a severe ear infection for over a month, he finally got tubes and no longer has the infection but he is getting molars, so I am unsure if I should go in or not. How do I know when to let him CIO and when he needs me because he is sick or in pain? It is so confusing!
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Posted 12/20/08 3:46 PM |
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sumlynmad
...bonds...
Member since 4/07 2080 total posts
Name: Summer
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by babydreams
Thanks!
I do have a question though, DS can self soothe and will put himself to sleep, we did CIO similar to this, but sometimes he will wake up at 4 am and cry for over 20 min until I usually give in and nurse him. What should I do to get him over this? The problem is that he had a severe ear infection for over a month, he finally got tubes and no longer has the infection but he is getting molars, so I am unsure if I should go in or not. How do I know when to let him CIO and when he needs me because he is sick or in pain? It is so confusing!
to your son....this happens a lot, with teeth and sicknesses and stuff....they regress a little, bc for a few days, or for you, a month, you had to go in and sotthe them- its totally normal, you arent going to let them cry if they are in pain or sick....you just have to retrain them- and it doesnt take long- they remember how to re-soothe themselves pretty quickly....plus, your his mom...youll know when hes sick, and you can tell when hes getting a tooth (my DCs just dont act like themselves during the day when they are getting sick or a tooth....thats how i know to prepare myself at nite....)
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Posted 12/20/08 5:04 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
I'm obviously not CIOing with a 5 & 7 year old, but I know there are other moms on here dealing with the same issue...
What do you do when they throw up all over themselves & the crib from crying so hard?
I imagine in the 7 kids she has, she's had this problem too.
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Posted 12/20/08 5:41 PM |
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babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by sumlynmad
Posted by babydreams
Thanks!
I do have a question though, DS can self soothe and will put himself to sleep, we did CIO similar to this, but sometimes he will wake up at 4 am and cry for over 20 min until I usually give in and nurse him. What should I do to get him over this? The problem is that he had a severe ear infection for over a month, he finally got tubes and no longer has the infection but he is getting molars, so I am unsure if I should go in or not. How do I know when to let him CIO and when he needs me because he is sick or in pain? It is so confusing!
to your son....this happens a lot, with teeth and sicknesses and stuff....they regress a little, bc for a few days, or for you, a month, you had to go in and sotthe them- its totally normal, you arent going to let them cry if they are in pain or sick....you just have to retrain them- and it doesnt take long- they remember how to re-soothe themselves pretty quickly....plus, your his mom...youll know when hes sick, and you can tell when hes getting a tooth (my DCs just dont act like themselves during the day when they are getting sick or a tooth....thats how i know to prepare myself at nite....)
You are right, but I second guess myself, plus we have been going through nights where last night he slept thru but the night before he woke up at 4 and the night before that he woke up at 11 and the night before that he slept thru but I did hear him cry once and put himself back. So it is so inconsistent I second guess myself.
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Posted 12/20/08 6:09 PM |
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sumlynmad
...bonds...
Member since 4/07 2080 total posts
Name: Summer
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by nrthshgrl
I'm obviously not CIOing with a 5 & 7 year old, but I know there are other moms on here dealing with the same issue...
What do you do when they throw up all over themselves & the crib from crying so hard?
I imagine in the 7 kids she has, she's had this problem too.
well, i def dont claim to know every little tidbit of CIO, i can only share my experience and share the advice ive acquired along the way...i started this post i know a lot are under the misconception that CIO means just leaving them and not going back in, ever...and that can be very tough...which is why i totally support the progressive waiting approach....and if the 3,5,7,10 is too hard to do, you can most certainly do 1 minute, 3,5 7....as long as each time is a little longer than the last....
as far as the DCs that may throw up- well, i would first try to wait out very slowly (1 min, 2, 3,4,5....) that could most certainly help.....and i would also imagine that throwing up, well, i would treat as if it was nothing- have extra sheets, do the clean up, and put them right back in (i have a girlfriends whos daughter can throw up on que in the middle of the night- does it bc when she does, her parents go and sleep on her floor with her....)- i believe a lot in manipulation (i know you do too barb)- and although they might be young, 6,7,8,9 months old, they know what manipulation (insert this- eating, throwing spoon or toy on floor, u pick up and give back, they do it again, you pick up and give back....) i am sure throwing up is a horrifying thing to deal with and see, but i would almost have to think that if it was a constant throwing up, and you were doing the clean up and rocking them and re-soothing them, it just might become a creature of habit.....??
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Posted 12/20/08 6:14 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name: Ms. Brat
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
i did what you did almost EXACTLY word or word and it worked. My son was 9 months old when I did it, and I kicked myself for not doing it sooner!!
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Posted 12/20/08 6:20 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name: Kara®
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Hm DD cries and then falls asleep --- that's what worked for us!! Thank God cuz I could never remember all these rules!!
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Posted 12/20/08 6:23 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name: Diana
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by KateDevine
I think this is very helpful, but I want to just add that this type of CIO doesn't work with ALL babies. My DS would FREAK if we went in there, so we had to just stay out. It was tough, but we thought CIO didn't work for us b/c we'd try this way and it DID end up working, but on DS' terms.
I agree. While this is very helpful to moms trying CIO - the one thing you need to realize is that every baby is different - and every baby reacts differently to CIO. You need to figure out the right way to handle it that you are comfortable with.
If I ever went into his room - he would flip out!!!!
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Posted 12/20/08 8:26 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Bumping for the new moms!
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Posted 4/12/09 8:23 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name: Stephanie
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Posted by KateDevine
I think this is very helpful, but I want to just add that this type of CIO doesn't work with ALL babies. My DS would FREAK if we went in there, so we had to just stay out. It was tough, but we thought CIO didn't work for us b/c we'd try this way and it DID end up working, but on DS' terms.
I agree, while this post is EXTREMELY helpful and has some great tips, we could NOT go into dd's room at all, we just had to let her cry for as long as it took for her to fall asleep, we did not do CIO until around 15 months though
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Posted 4/12/09 9:06 PM |
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pixie
Member since 7/07 2089 total posts
Name:
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Re: i just want to help all CIO moms....
Great stuff...thanks summer. Now just come over and do it for me.
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Posted 4/12/09 9:07 PM |
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