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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I tried with DS and wasnt producing enough, cracked, bleeding, doubled over crying in pain- then finally gave up after 2 weeks.
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Posted 5/30/08 8:04 AM  |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I usually do not want to get involved oin long winded posts that tend to stray the wrong way...
but............
Aeriell is not resentful---she simply stated b/f babies are not necessarily bigger and not all are necessarily smarter.
Coming from amy mom that b.f didn't work or they simply could not do it-it sounds like they effected their childrens IQ's and they are small.
She simply stated its not written in stone.
There is alot of guilt if u can not b/f but the truth is...there are people who do not eat right and feel its not fair...
people on anti-depressants or epilepsy meds...the list is endless...its not always feasible.
We should all agree to disagree without it getting heated...
everyone knows b.f is good--but the truth of the matter is...omega fatty acids helps your IQ too as well as other vitamins...and either way---noone should feel like they did their child wrong---b.f or not.
Do you think a b.f baby that is not played with or socialized is smarter then a formula fed baby that is stimulated? ofcourse not...
it starts in pregnancy and beyond---not just breat milk-and from the posts--not all b.f babies are big....
its also genetics...
Some things are not feasible for some thats all. 
edited to add...I am not saying anyone on here neglects or does not socialize their child I am simply stating there are always contributing factors...
there are many vitamins and minerals and acids that enhance a IQ
Message edited 5/30/2008 8:11:01 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 8:05 AM |
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clmj2
cant believe hes gone
Member since 3/07 4407 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
may I applaud you?
thank you for that! I tried breast feeding..I spent 5 days is the hospital (DD lost 17% of her birth weight because i had NO milk which we didnt know for 2 days) I used a nipple sheild for inverted nipples (never stopped using it), pumping to try and get my milk to come in...when i left I could pump MAYBE 2 oz from BOTH breasts...that was with the medical grade pump...when I came home I was on meds to try and keep it going,...well guess what it didnt...I never pumped more then 3 oz (with meds and pumping after every feeding)...there just wasnt enough and taking meds I dont even know how many times a day...I was becoming very depressed as it had turned into my life...I had to pump after EVERY feeding to try and get my milk going...after 2 weeks of it I decided formula was best for both of us...BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!
ETA: I am in no way against breast feeding...I tried...I really wanted to, but when there is not enough milk I am not starving my child...I think its great for those who can but i dont think that ANYONE should be looked down on for formula feeding...everyone has their own reasons for doing something.
Message edited 5/30/2008 8:15:48 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 8:12 AM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Princessmaris
Posted by maybebaby
Posted by Dragonfly75
Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would feel bad for using formula. That's your parenting choice and as long as you feel good and cofident about it, why would you care what anyone else thinks?
you make good points!!
I just wanted to respond to this one part...some FF moms feel badly when you have a mom who breastfeeds ask you "why didn't you BF??". And you answer "Well b/c truthfully i hated it, it wasn't for us and he's doing great on formula". And the next comment is "well at least I hope he got some colostrum".
That is a conversation that happened between me and a mom when johnny was 2 weeks old. What place did she have to give me a shocked look over my choice and say "hope he got colostrum". I was comfortable in my choice and happy yet she felt the need to make me question it, even for a brief second. Like my child is suffering whereas her child was better off..
I don't know you, or the person you are referring to, but personally I don't think I would've taken it as a criticism.
This person didn't say you were wrong for switching to formula.
You tried it, which IMO is a great thing in itself.
And since you did try, why would it be wrong to hope the child rec'd colostrum in your attempts?
I had Dr.'s in the hospital tell me, even if I was going to formula feed, I should try to give the baby colostrum the first few days.
I have convos with friends all the time. Some say the tried it for a few days but couldnt do it for whatever reason. My response is always "well at least the baby got those first few days, some is better than none, and at least you gave it a try"
I never mean it to criticize, I say as if "you should be proud that you gave your child that"
I wanna add- I gave up BFIng @ 2-3 months old (due to the stress of anti BFing views of those who shouldve been supporting me) DS was FF the other 9 months. I am not anti FF in any way.
I did take it as criticism b/c of the look on her face (utter shock that i didn't BF). And you know what? I don't think anyone should ever comment to someone that they hope a child received colostrum. Why do they care??? I would never ever ask someone if their baby at least got colostrum. It wasn't her business or concern, you know? How many babies are born that don't get one drop of colostrum or breastmilk and are 100% fine. I did think she was very judgmental and wrong...and as a new mom especially it stinks to hear it!
Like I said I dont know you, or her- I wasnt there and I didnt see the look on her face..
I guess what I was trying to say is that I say things along those lines to friends, and I never mean it in a critical way...
More in a way that they should be proud that they gave it a shot, and they have come to decision they feel is best
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| Posted 5/30/08 8:12 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by maybebaby
That is ONE isolated event...and most breastfeeding moms have never said a thing and we all get along, lol. But it takes one frowny face to make the guilt set in..
It isn't necessarily BF moms, it's MEAN and INSECURE moms that resort to these tactics, and I'm simply sick of it! It isn't just in the BF arena, it's co-sleeping versus non-cosleeping, working moms versus SAHM, and the list goes on and on and on...
People do it because they are insecure about their own decisions, so to prop themselves up and feel better about their decisions, they drive a wedge between themselves and others who took a different course by judging.
The fact is, no one course of action is perfect for any mother, father or baby. We all have different needs and different circumstances, and as long as our children are loved and cared for, it doesn't matter what the differences are, because the end goal is the same.
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| Posted 5/30/08 8:18 AM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Dragonfly75
Wow. I'm sorry you have so much rhttp://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic-292690-1.html when it comes to breastfeeding. But, as mothers, we get it from all sides. As others have posted, breastfeeding mothers are often alientated and made to feel bad if we dare feed our children around other people or if we dare continue to breastfeed beyond 6 months.
I think the hype about breastfeeding comes from the fact that our society looked down on it for so long. Now, the benefits have been established, there is a push to make it more mainstream. It may seem overblown at times, but I think as breastfeeding becomes more mainstream, the hype will subside, because there will be less of a need to educate people about it.
Honestly, I don't understand why anyone would feel bad for using formula. That's your parenting choice and as long as you feel good and cofident about it, why would you care what anyone else thinks?
wow .. where did she say one word about being resentful..
why do people assume something?
did she say that NO.
come on that was REALLY RUDE!
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:07 AM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by maybebaby
That is ONE isolated event...and most breastfeeding moms have never said a thing and we all get along, lol. But it takes one frowny face to make the guilt set in..
.
See why do you group together BF's moms as if they are their own clique and moms for FF aren't as equal?
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:08 AM |
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missrock
Beautiful!!!!
Member since 5/06 3808 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
ITA also!!! Thanks.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:08 AM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Theresa05
wow .. where did she say one word about being resentful..
why do people assume something?
did she say that NO.
come on that was REALLY RUDE!
Not trying to be rude -- your reading too much into this. Obviously, you have to have some resentment to start a post like this. And I do think it is sad that people have resentment toward breastfeeding. We're all trying to do the best for our families, if breastfeeding works for you that's great, if not, that's fine, too. All that matters is that you are making the right choice for your family.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:23 AM |
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Charly
LOVE!
Member since 5/05 12578 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I didn't breastfeed, I didn't even try. It just doesn't feel natural to me. I try not to feel guilty about, but I do sometimes. When people ask if I did or if I am going to I find myself making "excuses" as to why I didn't rather than just stating that it's not for me.
It was a decision my DH & I were comfortable with. I will not BF my  either. It doesn't mean I love them any less - I would be miserable BF'ing so actually it makes me a better mom to my DC in my opinion.
YOU just need to feel good about the decisions you make for your DC whatever it is (BF, not BF, co-sleep, etc.) You don't need to defend your decisions to anyone.
Message edited 5/30/2008 9:27:23 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:26 AM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Dragonfly75
Posted by Theresa05
wow .. where did she say one word about being resentful..
why do people assume something?
did she say that NO.
come on that was REALLY RUDE!
Not trying to be rude -- your reading too much into this. Obviously, you have to have some resentment to start a post like this. And I do think it is sad that people have resentment toward breastfeeding. We're all trying to do the best for our families, if breastfeeding works for you that's great, if not, that's fine, too. All that matters is that you are making the right choice for your family.
ok no resentment here, none at all. I tried to bf and it didnt work out for me and my twins. yet i still get crap and hear crap abou t it. This is kinda a spinoff on someones comment about bf baby gaining more weight than a ff baby. I will def try to bf again if i have another i started this post to make my opinion.. an it actually made a few moms feel a lil better knowing there not alone
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:30 AM |
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JennasMom
?**?
Member since 11/05 3463 total posts
Name:
does it matter
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I am a non BF former SAHM now working Mom who has absolutely no regrets about not even trying to BF, quite simply it was not for me.
Like Stacey said happy mom=happy baby, you have to do what is right for you. As Moms we all have our children's best interests and well being at heart, we just might take different paths to get there
Message edited 5/30/2008 9:34:06 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:33 AM |
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Dragonfly75
I love Hypnobabies
Member since 3/06 2333 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by twinboys425
ok no resentment here, none at all. I tried to bf and it didnt work out for me and my twins. yet i still get crap and hear crap abou t it. This is kinda a spinoff on someones comment about bf baby gaining more weight than a ff baby. I will def try to bf again if i have another i started this post to make my opinion.. an it actually made a few moms feel a lil better knowing there not alone
I just read that post and the OP's comments were completely innocent and harmless and not trying to put FF down. Breastfeeding mothers often catch flack from doctors and relatives who don't understand that BF babies tend to pack on the pounds fast at an early age -- can happen with FF babies, too as you pointed out.
My point is that to start a thread that calls attention to how you are sick of hearing about breastfed babies indicates there is some resentment -- otherwise why would you even care?
I really think the whole FF vs. BF thing is so over-played and I wish everyone would just be happy with the choices they make and let it go.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:38 AM |
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Theresa05
Sofialiciciousssssssssssss
Member since 10/06 4891 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I don't get how your sick of hearing something can even be close to being resentful...............
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY would she be?
WHO CARESSSSSSSSSSS she didn't BF.. WHO CARES if she DID BF..
Jesus people are losing it..
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:51 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
My point is that to start a thread that calls attention to how you are sick of hearing about breastfed babies indicates there is some resentment -- otherwise why would you even care?
I dont think it was resentment, just to put it out there to all that didnt BF, that its ok and NOT to feel bad about the decision made.
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:54 AM |
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MyChip-n-Dales
lifes many lil twisted curves
Member since 10/07 5158 total posts
Name:
aeriell
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Smileyd17
My point is that to start a thread that calls attention to how you are sick of hearing about breastfed babies indicates there is some resentment -- otherwise why would you even care?
I dont think it was resentment, just to put it out there to all that didnt BF, that its ok and NOT to feel bad about the decision made.
THANK YOU!
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| Posted 5/30/08 9:55 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Normally I never get involved in the BF topic but here goes...
I didn't BF, I never wanted to BF and never felt guilty about not Bfing.
It's MY kid, MY body and I don't give a crap who says what about BF/FF babies.
I get it all the time from a friend who BF....telling me that I should try it...
I just let it roll off my back.
Message edited 5/30/2008 10:03:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:02 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I think we are all to one degree or another judgmental and I hate to say it probably overly sensitive as well (and I too have been guilty of this!). As moms we are all damned if we do something and damned if we don't do something. Instead of everyone just worrying about themselves and their decision affect their own family - people will inherently always have to put their own 2 cents in good or bad. One of the things I love about the ladies here is that if any of us have a problem or concern you will get multiple solutions and you know at least one of them will work for you. If we were all totally identical life would be very boring.
I know I got A LOT of slack about BF - from day one at the hospital they tried to give me formula and pushing it - my mom who did BF me asked when I would stop and give DD formula. Not being able to feed my child when I went out without hiding or pumping. Having to hide in a small un-air conditioned room to BF DD at BIL's b.c it might make people uncomfortable if I stayed on the 1st floor or go to one of the 1st floor bedrooms. Even when I decided to start supplementing my ped said "its about time." Secretly thinking my life would be so much easier if I could just whip out a bottle of formula. If I couldn't BF or I decided it wasn't for me I would be very upset if anyone made me feel less for my choice to formula feed. I think the PERFECT form of feeding is what makes mom and baby healthy and happy whatever that is- end of story.
I see it all the time - moms are chastised b.c they choose to work or not work, go on childless vacations or nights away or they don't want to be away from their child, co sleeping or putting a child right into the crib, the list is endless. You will always have someone who thinks their way is better than any other way out there. It is just life.
The reason I think some are too sensitive sometimes (and as I said I am guilty of this) when someone doesn't share the identical view - I notice if someone says something like "I couldn't leave my child for a few days for a vacation I would miss them too much" that people assume that person means if you DO that they are in the wrong and horrible parents OR vice versa. Instead of just seeing it as a different perspective and a different way of life not an attack on your choices. Neither choice is more right than the other - as long as YOUR choice is the one that you and your family is comfortable with. Then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Overall I think moms need to be more supportive of each other. Now I will probably be flamed away.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:08 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Lillykat
I think we are all to one degree or another judgmental and I hate to say it probably overly sensitive as well (and I too have been guilty of this!). As moms we are all damned if we do something and damned if we don't do something. Instead of everyone just worrying about themselves and their decision affect their own family - people will inherently always have to put their own 2 cents in good or bad. One of the things I love about the ladies here is that if any of us have a problem or concern you will get multiple solutions and you know at least one of them will work for you. If we were all totally identical life would be very boring.
I know I got A LOT of slack about BF - from day one at the hospital they tried to give me formula and pushing it - my mom who did BF me asked when I would stop and give DD formula. Not being able to feed my child when I went out without hiding or pumping. Having to hide in a small un-air conditioned room to BF DD at BIL's b.c it might make people uncomfortable if I stayed on the 1st floor or go to one of the 1st floor bedrooms. Even when I decided to start supplementing my ped said "its about time." Secretly thinking my life would be so much easier if I could just whip out a bottle of formula. If I couldn't BF or I decided it wasn't for me I would be very upset if anyone made me feel less for my choice to formula feed. I think the PERFECT form of feeding is what makes mom and baby healthy and happy whatever that is- end of story.
I see it all the time - moms are chastised b.c they choose to work or not work, go on childless vacations or nights away or they don't want to be away from their child, co sleeping or putting a child right into the crib, the list is endless. You will always have someone who thinks their way is better than any other way out there. It is just life.
The reason I think some are too sensitive sometimes (and as I said I am guilty of this) when someone doesn't share the identical view - I notice if someone says something like "I couldn't leave my child for a few days for a vacation I would miss them too much" that people assume that person means if you DO that they are in the wrong and horrible parents OR vice versa. Instead of just seeing it as a different perspective and a different way of life not an attack on your choices. Neither choice is more right than the other - as long as YOUR choice is the one that you and your family is comfortable with. Then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Overall I think moms need to be more supportive of each other. Now I will probably be flamed away.
Very well said!
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:11 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
BF or FF, whats the big deal, either way my child is STILL BEING FED.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:12 AM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Dragonfly75
Posted by twinboys425
ok no resentment here, none at all. I tried to bf and it didnt work out for me and my twins. yet i still get crap and hear crap abou t it. This is kinda a spinoff on someones comment about bf baby gaining more weight than a ff baby. I will def try to bf again if i have another i started this post to make my opinion.. an it actually made a few moms feel a lil better knowing there not alone
I just read that post and the OP's comments were completely innocent and harmless and not trying to put FF down. Breastfeeding mothers often catch flack from doctors and relatives who don't understand that BF babies tend to pack on the pounds fast at an early age -- can happen with FF babies, too as you pointed out.
My point is that to start a thread that calls attention to how you are sick of hearing about breastfed babies indicates there is some resentment -- otherwise why would you even care?
I really think the whole FF vs. BF thing is so over-played and I wish everyone would just be happy with the choices they make and let it go.
I do not see where it was posted that she said she was sick of hearing about breast fed babies...
can someone quote where she said this?
all she said was not only b/f babies tripled their weight and not all babies can be breastfed---thats it*********
maybe we should let thisi thread die.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:14 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I tried BFing, it didn't work out for us and DS is formula fed. he is happy and thriving and a delightful baby in general. If anyone has a problem with how I am caring for him, I just consider them crazy. 
I did get a few comments in the beginning and when someone started on the whole "BFing is better for the baby...." I just responded with, "well, that ship has sailed....." Too late to switch back at that point.
Message edited 5/30/2008 10:54:35 AM.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:18 AM |
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twiceasnice
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1126 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Being a mom is hard work!
Whatever a mom has to do that fits their needs as well as their childs then Do It!
My opinion on Mom's who formula feed is that they feel like they failed somehow when they hear these judgements. Thats not true at all. Everyone has judgements and you will get them for the rest of your life.
These boards (and life iteself) are full of opinions: cosleeping, bottle breaking, pacifiers, bad plastics, sippy cups, food (home made or jarred), etc. etc. It doesn't end.
When formula first came out in the 50's BFing was looked down on and formula was what was best for your DC. People were also supposed to put there child face down to sleep. 50 Years later its the opposite.
Nothing you do will be right for anyone else but yourself!
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:29 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
I personally dont like when there is a debate from either side. In the end everyone knows what is best for their child and their family.
The side factor is the uninvolved parties who criticize when a mom chooses to BF or not BF...I say lay off...its the parents choice.
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| Posted 5/30/08 10:43 AM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: ok... im stating MY OPINION HERE.... (long sorry)
Posted by Theresa05
Posted by maybebaby
That is ONE isolated event...and most breastfeeding moms have never said a thing and we all get along, lol. But it takes one frowny face to make the guilt set in..
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See why do you group together BF's moms as if they are their own clique and moms for FF aren't as equal?
UMMM i never said they are cliques. I was stating ONE example of a friend who breastfed and made me feel badly. BUT that the other people I know that breastfeed have not done that...
You took my post waaay out of context. Nothing was said about equality...
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| Posted 5/30/08 11:43 AM |
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