Vince Vaughn turned up at Crimson, the new lounge next door to L.A. hot spot Opera, to wish ex-boybander JC Chasez a happy birthday — but soon turned his attention to the ladies. Hollywood dudes Adam Brody and Josh Henderson chilled while Vaughn "prowled the room" and left with a small group of blonds, says our spy.

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Some surprised New Yorkers had a visit from a very special handyman on Wednesday.

Ashton Kutcher, who was researching a role, shadowed a closet installer from the Closet Factory — and did some of the work himself.

He made only one house call, says an insider, but distinguished himself by deftly installing a tie rack.

"The client was shocked that a celebrity was installing his closet," says our snitch. "But he was such a great guy. Just a decent, normal guy."

Wednesday, you can't help but remember, was the day of the storm. And Kutcher even helped clean up flooding at the Closet Factory's Long Island City offices.

"People recognized him when he was out," says the source. "One gentleman was sitting in traffic when he saw Ashton. He left his car idling, raced out and asked for an autograph."

Mr. Kutcher obliged.

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It looks like Kevin Federline isn't ready for his closeup after all.

Britney Spears' baby-daddy was to have appeared, briefly, in Keanu Reeves' new film, "The Night Watchman."

"He had a very small role; he was in a montage," says one West Coast wag.

But the rumor mill (possibly fueled by his own people, depending on how much of a conspiracy theorist you are) beefed the story up until Federline was "starring opposite" Reeves.

Either way, someone on the film decided that K-Fed's services were no longer required.

"He was fired from the film, but his manager didn't tell him," laughs a snitch. "Kevin found out when he turned up for a wardrobe call."

Federline's manager did not respond to a request for comment. Despite online reports and the confirmation of our insider, a rep for Fox Searchlight told us that Federline was never cast in the film.

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A source tells us Lauren Conrad totally had acerbic gossip blogger Perez Hilton banned from her party for "The Hills" in L.A. on Wednesday.

Since he was having his own party in New York Thursday, for Pmbuzz.com and Vitaminenergy, we asked him about it.

"I love it!" he said. "Wait, let me give you a better quote."

Mr. Hilton thought for a second.

"Lauren Conrad is a two-faced [bleep] who pretends to be all sweet and innocent on the outside, but on the inside she is a conniving, manipulative wench."

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"My father was a minister, so growing up, we'd go on a missionary trip every summer," Jessica Simpson tells Self magazine about her work with the Casa Hogar Elim orphanage in Mexico. "The first time I went to that orphanage, I was 16. I remember holding this baby who was found in a dumpster. I wanted to adopt him right then and there. I was like, 'Dad, can I have him for my birthday, please?'"

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KATE Hudson's ex, the Black Crowes frontman Chris Robinson, couldn't be happier things are heating up between Kate and her new guy, comic Dax Shepard. "Dax is basically living at her house right now," said our source. While the rest of her family is "a little annoyed," according to our tipster, "Chris is thrilled because now he can have [their 3-year-old son] Ryder whenever he wants . . . Kate gets a little more distracted when new men come into her life." Hudson's rep, Brad Cafarelli, told us, "None of what you're speculating here is accurate."

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A woman who just completed the program at the Cirque Lodge rehab center in Sundace, Utah, claims that Lindsay Lohan checked into the facility last Thursday night, where she’s been making life difficult for fellow patients ever since.

According to The Insider Lohan is one of twelve guests at the facility (six men, six women), and since her arrival, all of the patients' phone calls are being closely monitored to maintain the actress’ privacy. Their computer use has been suspended, as well.

So how has Lohan been spending her time? The former patient – identified only as “Jane P.” -- gives The Insider a peek at the facility’s daily itinerary:

6 A.M. Wake up call
6:30 A.M. River hike, followed by a brief meditation
8:00 A.M. Breakfast is served
8:30 A.M. Free time -- like other residents, Lindsay is assigned cleaning duties -- including cleaning her room and her toilet.
9:00 A.M. Community meeting to discuss what will go on that day.
10:00 A.M. Speaker meeting
12:00 P.M. Lunch is served
1:00 P.M. - 4:00 P.M. Process group/workshops/experiential time -- where patients participate in any of the following activities including horseback riding or gardening, which Lindsay did on Tuesday. Spa treatments like massages and pedicures are also available.
5:30 P.M. Dinner time
6:30 P.M. Assignment group/recovery work
8:00 P.M. 12-Step meeting (on or off-site)
9:30 P.M. Closing meeting -- assessment of the day
10:00 P.M. - 11:00 P.M. Free time
11:00 P.M. Lights out

Jane P. also reveals that Lohan has been hiding behind large sunglasses and “isn't looking anything like the glamour girl we all see on the red carpet.”

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JODIE Foster may be more afraid of shopping than she was of Hannibal Lecter. The Oscar winner tells Self magazine that her fear has gotten worse over time. "The thing I really don't like to do is shop. When I was a kid, my mom liked to shop and I would stay in the car and read. Since then, my shopping dread has gotten worse, and now it's a phobia. I'll walk into a store, feel my face twitch, and go back to the car."


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Jessica Alba hasn't looked back since splitting from beau of two years, Cash Warren.

The duo met up for lunch July 27, but it was to "say those final things that needed to be said," a source tells Us. "She's definitely enjoying being single right now," another pal confirms.

Indeed, Alba, 26, is already hitting the Hollywood club scene. The former homebody popped up at L.A. hotspot Les Deux on Monday and Hyde on Sunday (where Warren, 28, partied three days later).

The actress has said in the past that she embraces no-strings attached encounters when she’s single.

“I don't really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have,” she told Cosmopolitan in 2005.

"I could have a one-night stand, and I'm the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, 'Do you really have to be here?' I don't need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don't try to make it more.”

The actress said that she enjoyed playing the field before she began dating Warren in 2005. "I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people,” she told Cosmo. “I don't think a girl's a slut if she enjoys sex.”