WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

MIL just called and said she wants to stop over yet again. I said only if this disrespect stops. She went into everything under the sun including cursing how she wants me to treat her son. Her yelling ended in "shes going to see the baby anyway". How am I going to stop this insanity when dh is telling them over and over. Also, I dont think she should see the baby until she can control herself. She is getting wicked and I am out of the hospital only a week. I was hysterical the last hr. I called my mom to work and she wants to wash her off but I am unsure if thats the way to go. Obviously, dh cant get this right.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

OMG, I am sooooo sorry
MIL's S UCK!!!



Enjoy your baby and if MIL stoops to cursing, don't answer the phone...

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

OMG, did you tell DH about this? That woman would not be coming near my child until she apologized and learned how to control herself.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Whoa. I wouldn't let her near my child with that kind of attitude!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I think maybe telling her she's being disrespectful is not going to help. Because she doesn't see it as being that way. Instead is there a way you can calmly yet firmly tell her (away from the baby so she's not distracted) that her being over there all the time and trying to run your son's life is not making things better for you and him, and that you want to have a good relationship with her but in order to do that you both need to figure some ground rules out.
If she continues to act the way she is, tell her it's not going to work out her coming to visit and until you guys can work out some sort of compromise please only come over when you're not there (and then just have the baby and DH there for like an hour and you can go visit your parent or go food shopping or something so you don't have to deal with them).

Some grandparents take their roles as grandparents too far. Sounds like she feels you "took" DH from her (did she give you hell while you were planning the wedding? I bet she did) and now that this is her grandchild, she's trying to take over that way too.

I really think your DH needs to get a backbone and tell her to just CUT IT OUT.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Whoa!!! She better get a grip on herself!! You get to decide if she sees the baby, not her. She needs to learn the word respect and what that means.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Lock up that door...I wouldn't let her in to see your daughter until she
A. Wants to treat you with some respect
and
B. act like an adult and let you make your own adult decisions with your husband and your daughter.

Your dh needs to stop being the "peacemaker" and start being the one with a backbone.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

try to figure something out with DH - u dont want them ruining the first few months of that little peanut!!!!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I feel for you and am going through almost a similiar situation. MIL's are absolutley positively PSYCHO!!!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I just recently had a huge thing with my MIL and I told DH that she will never step foot in our house again...I understand what you are going through

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Posted by GenLCSW

I just recently had a huge thing with my MIL and I told DH that she will never step foot in our house again...I understand what you are going through

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I wouldn't have my MIL over either if she acted that way, sorry you have to go through this.......

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I am so sorry you have to go through this now

I don't think she sees it as dispectful, she sees it as entitlement to see HER grandchild.

If i were you i would keep DH and his mother out until he put her in her rightful place. She needs to realize she is grandma, you are MOM, you say what goes.

DH needs to grow a pair and a backbone!

Sorry, but if i were you, DH would be feeling the rath too.



ETA: My MIL can be a piece sometimes, but through communication and some yelling with DH, he sees things exactly how they should be and life is so much better now, cause he deals with her.

FM me if you need anything

Message edited 12/7/2006 1:13:11 PM.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I am so, so sorry that you have to deal with this woman. She's not seeing the baby if you & DH agree she's not.

In case this comes up, Grandparents fortunately or unfortunately depending on the situation, do not have ANY rights towards visitation. Someone else in my office had an issue & she asked me to look it up.

THis is insane! You just had major surgery & have a newborn. I would get caller id & not pick up the phone anymore. You don't need the stress.

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Lock the door and trun off the phone.

I would not let this woman near my child till she apologized!! Your DH needs to tell her whats what!


Sorry You have to deal with this crap Paulette!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

I am so sorry you have to deal with a MIL like this. After my DD was born I had HUGE issues with my ILs, and unfortunalty also have a DH who didnt recognize his priorities at the time. In the end it came to a very heated arguement and I laid it out as it was going to be and that if they wanted time with DD, they better change there act. It took time for things to get back to 'normal' but over time it did. My advice is to lock the doors and dont answer the phone, then if DH wont handle it, you need to put them in there place and hold your ground!......

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

heres a good laugh...dh came home during lunch. MIL called him and came up with her resolution.....she thinks he should take the baby there without me...UMMMM....bad resolution...and dh repeats this to me!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

thanks for the advice everyone!
I kind of felt like I OWED it to her to make her comfortable when she comes by trying to resolve things. Well that seems like its not going to happen. I just wanted to make sure that her threats were not true and I didnt have to LET her get away with this through threats. Its funny how she goes around just accepting the rules of what we want. I mean even for an hr is it going to kill her to follow some rules!

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Lock the door and don't answer the door till she calms down...have DH deal with the insanity....or you will turn on him

Re: WW3 just broke out between MIL and myself

Posted by sweetness

Posted by PrincessP

heres a good laugh...dh came home during lunch. MIL called him and came up with her resolution.....she thinks he should take the baby there without me...UMMMM....bad resolution...and dh repeats this to me!

OMG! I am so flippin mad for you

Now she is alienating you from your child.

OMG! OMG! Can I come down to LI and run things for you?

How did you respond to that bone head idea?