Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

My DD is 8 months old. She has slept through the night starting around 3 months but that is no longer the case. She puts herself to sleep (after nursing). But, she wakes up once in the middle of the night and once in the early morning to nurse. I have posted about this issue before after stressing about the fact that she regressed so much. I came to accept that not all babies STTN consistently and that regressions are normal. So, I went back to waking up in the middle of the night (sometimes even twice), nursing her back to sleep (or nursing her back to where she is very drowsy) and I put her back in her crib.

DH suggested that we try to eliminate the middle of the night feeding so that we only have that early morning feeding. So two nights ago, we let her cry when she woke up. She wailed a little bit for 30 minutes or so. Last night, we did the same and she wailed here and there for maybe 20 minutes.

I have had mixed feelings about this. Last night, I had such a hard time going back to sleep after she went back to sleep. I should have been happy but I felt sad and anxious. Could it be that my hormones got out of whack after the elimination of that middle of the night session? Or maybe, I feel a tinge of guilt or even sadness about this? Anyone go through something similar?

Re: Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

Everyone is going to have their own opinion here as well as their own comfort level with letting baby cry. Whole there’s no official right or wrong answer, if it feels wrong to you to do it this way, I’d follow your gut.

I am personally not comfortable with having baby cry it out and found several resources supporting alternatives. My DS who is 4 now is (and has been for a LONG time. Is) an excellent sleeper. We used a sleep coach (you can FM me for more on that if interested), and also used the book Good Night Sleep Tight.

I nursed too, till 2 1/2. I get it, but it IS possible to get through this in one piece and come out on the other side with a great sleeper.

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

I typed out a whole response and then my phone decided to erase it.

You know your baby but if it doesn’t feel right then it may not be right. My dd is the same age and needs that middle of fhe night feeding to top her off. She is also teething so I finds it soothes her. I also find my boobs kill me those nights she doesn’t wake up.

Re: Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

My situation is similar. DS is about to turn 9 months old. He wakes up a few times a night (two times usually, but sometimes 1 or 3 times) ... anyway I get up & sit in the bed & BF him. It's annoying as hell to have such broken sleep every night but I'm going to keep it up for a few more months, until he's closer to a year old. I did CIO with my older kids around 11 months old & found it worked well at that age (took only one rough night & after that they've slept through)... so I figure I'll do the same with him shortly before he turns 1. I could do it now but I'm not ready & he's not ready I think... I'm just going to indulge him for a few more months.. even though I really don't think he needs that middle of the night feeding & is just using it to get himself back to sleep. But I feel guilty cutting him off especially since I don't get to BF him at all during the day anymore since I've gone back to work. I don't want to lose my supply completely just yet.
Anyway I don't think there's a right answer. And I think what you're doing is just fine. I understand the guilt though! The baby will be just fine with whatever you decide to do.

Re: Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

You're training your baby to fall asleep BY nursing. So she can't fall back to sleep unless you BF her. If you separate feeding at bedtime by 20-30 minutes (so feed her, then do bath, story and then bed) and have her learn to fall asleep on her own, that should help resolve middle of the night feedings.

As for CIO, it's the best thing I ever did. It literally took my DD 15 minutes of crying one night and that was it.

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

CIO was the best thing I have ever done. You were creating a sleep association by reintroducing the night time feeds. I'm not sure exactly how hormones go regarding breastfeeding, but maybe that is the issue at hand.
I know how tough sleep training is. Hang in there. She'll be back to STTN in no time.

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

Copied from Kellymom, which I read religiously during my nursing relationship:
After the first few months, your baby will begin to associate the breast with far more than just a way to satisfy hunger and thirst. It becomes a place of comfort, security, warmth, closeness, and familiarity. The act of nursing is not just nourishing; it is nurturing. Keep in mind that these needs are every bit as real as baby’s physical ones, and having them met is every bit as needful to baby’s overall development.

Re: Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

I always had that same guilty feeling and couldn’t sleep when I knew my dc was upset so it was easier for me to just get up and cuddle or feed. In the grand scheme of things, interrupted sleep for a few years of my life is not something I will look back and remember. But listening to a baby crying would stick with me, I’m emotional about that. I think you do what feels right for you, there is no right or wrong way, but for me personally, I felt obligated to go to a crying baby, but that’s my personality, when dc cries I go running, dc’s comfort always comes before mine, Always.

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

I did CIO after months of NEVER sleeping when they went through a sleep regression... for 4 months. I had it, I was a zombie, nd a moody one at that. I am evil if I don’t sleep. I couldn’t parent, I value sleep more than anything. My sleep is my sanity. I had to do the CIO because I wasn’t the best parent I could be to them with 1 hour of sleep then either being home with them or working. Once we were all sleeping, we were ALL much happier. They were happier and well rested and I was happier too

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

We did CIO with my son and it took all of 10 minutes and that was it (he was waking not to nurse but just to wake). With my daughter no amount of CIO would have worked. Its just not in her personality to give up like that and it wasn't in mine to push her to that limit of crying so hard she might vomit. She weaned around 15 months but continued to wake at night till 2. Now at 2.5 she usually sleeps all night unless she is sick. It was a brutal first 2 years. I think the weepy and sad feelings are normal. If YOU aren't ready that's ok!

Re: Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

Sounds very similar to my DD's regression around 7 months. She had always been an excellent sleeper STTN at 2 months until she regressed. I did have her CIO when I first put her down to sleep because she was waking up as soon as I'd put her in the crib and it was like 2 hours of me rocking/nursing her and her waking up as soon as her head hit the pillow. I never felt guilty about that and it worked well. But, when she'd wake up in the middle of the night, I didn't let her cry. I don't know, it was just different. I thought maybe she was scared or hurt and I just felt the need to check on her. When I put her down to sleep, I KNEW she was fine, so maybe that was it? Either way, she lasted about 2 months with the night waking. I was at my wit's end and then it just stopped. Basically what I'm saying is, do what you feel comfortable with, but just know everything is a phase. You both will sleep again eventually.

Weird question RE: night weaning and CIO- and emotions

The only way I was able to do CIO was with the video monitor. That way i knew that the baby was safe, and was crying because they had not yet figured out how to get to sleep without me. After 2 nights of minimal crying he STTN.