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Would you go to HR?

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Genesis
LIF Zygote

Member since 2/15

3 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

I am a regular poster that is in hiding but I needed real advice and this was the best way. My boss and I have children in the same daycare class. They are toddlers, my boss kept me at work till 630 tonight , it's a long day for them. We are picking up our kids at the same time and I found out that during the day my child hit another child. Not my bosses kid but someone else. The teacher was trying to be discreet but my boss couldn't help but to overhear. Everything was fine with. Other child, it was typical toddler stuff over a toy and I addressed it with my child. End of story.

Here's what happened though....as my boss is leaving he turns to me and says, "I better never hear of your kid hitting my kid". "I'll make sure that goes on your review at the end of the year".

This boss has a real ego and a serious attitude. this is the second thing just this week that is inappropriate that they have done (called me "useless" yesterday, I could go on and on...). But this sent me over the edge

I don't take HR lightly but like I said this isn't the first "incident" that I've had with this person. Just not sure if it's "HR" worthy though and need advice..

Wwyd?

Message edited 2/18/2015 9:59:42 PM.

Posted 2/18/15 9:49 PM
 
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EatingMyVeggies

Member since 1/12

6667 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

Yep. I would go to HR.

Sorry he said that :(

Posted 2/18/15 9:53 PM
 

Paramount
Sweet!

Member since 7/12

4287 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

IMHO yes. Your boss should never call you useless. And to threaten you? (Bad review)!!!!

This is what it comes down to. You would be protecting yourself but be open to the boss retaliating. It's F'ed and you don't win either way. At least this way you have the upper hand and if the buss retaliates you have it in paper FIRST.

Posted 2/18/15 9:55 PM
 

janedoe
3 GIRLS!!!!

Member since 8/09

3184 total posts

Name:

Re: Would you go to HR?

I would most definitly go to HR
That was a threat that has absolutely nothing to do with you and your job performance !

Message edited 2/18/2015 9:57:38 PM.

Posted 2/18/15 9:56 PM
 

Genesis
LIF Zygote

Member since 2/15

3 total posts

Name:

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by Paramount

IMHO yes. Your boss should never call you useless. And to threaten you? (Bad review)!!!!

This is what it comes down to. You would be protecting yourself but be open to the boss retaliating. It's F'ed and you don't win either way. At least this way you have the upper hand and if the buss retaliates you have it in paper FIRST.



That's what I'm thinking...having it down in paper first in case things go south. Urg. I just am so worried about the aftermath and the retaliation. Thanks for the advice.

Posted 2/18/15 9:57 PM
 

KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination

Member since 5/05

4431 total posts

Name:
Karen

Would you go to HR?

I am never one for going to HR but I would absolutely go for that, at least so they can have it on paper incase of anything.

Posted 2/18/15 10:05 PM
 

adeline27
LIF Adult

Member since 5/06

3121 total posts

Name:
Angela

Re: Would you go to HR?

If I didn't read the part about your boss calling you useless I would have taken the other bit as a joke and not take it seriously. I would talk to HR just for that.

Posted 2/18/15 10:11 PM
 

Leb
LIF Adult

Member since 12/09

4166 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

I would go to HR. Also I would speak with the daycare privately and let them know to specifically not speak to you in front of your boss and to pull you aside in private, call you, or wait until he is gone.

Posted 2/18/15 11:39 PM
 

ihilani
LIF Adolescent

Member since 9/07

858 total posts

Name:
alias

Re: Would you go to HR?

Bad situation all around. Think about looking for a new job or a new daycare center.

If you choose to involve HR, think about what you want the outcome to be. What action do you want them to take? You may want to approach it from the perspective of asking for guidance on how you can best handle the situation.

Posted 2/19/15 12:24 AM
 

pumpkinmom
LIF Adult

Member since 5/12

2911 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

Sounds like they were joking to me - to write something about your kid on a review.

Posted 2/19/15 2:33 AM
 

canttellanyone
LIF Infant

Member since 8/14

213 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

Seems like your boss is threating your review. I would DEFINITELY make sure it was in writing before that review came up, especially if that review helps you get the raise or promotion you are entitled to. Go to HR!

Posted 2/19/15 8:22 AM
 

ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides

Member since 11/12

14481 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Would you go to HR?

YES! you should be keeping a log of all these incidents. And bringing personal day care children stuff into the work place is ridiculous. Calling someone useless is beyond unprofessional and hr needs to know sorry you're dealing with this.

Posted 2/19/15 8:26 AM
 

Millie3
LIF Adult

Member since 7/13

1280 total posts

Name:

Re: Would you go to HR?

So sorry you have to deal w this nonsense!

Coming from the most "corporate"'industry, not yet. HR is there to protect management and the company. First you should speak with boss directly. The daycare should have never said anything to you in front of your bossChat Icon

If you speaking to him doesn't work, then go to HR.

Message edited 2/19/2015 8:43:22 AM.

Posted 2/19/15 8:42 AM
 

JP826
=)

Member since 9/06

10903 total posts

Name:
Me!! All about ME!

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by adeline27

If I didn't read the part about your boss calling you useless I would have taken the other bit as a joke and not take it seriously. I would talk to HR just for that.



Exactly what I was about to write.

Posted 2/19/15 8:43 AM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by Millie3

So sorry you have to deal w this nonsense!

Coming from the most "corporate"'industry, not yet. HR is there to protect management and the company. First you should speak with boss directly. The daycare should have never said anything to you in front of your bossChat Icon

If you speaking to him doesn't work, then go to HR.



ITA

Posted 2/19/15 8:43 AM
 

chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

9141 total posts

Name:

Would you go to HR?

I would definitely go to HR and explain to them about what happened at the daycare center. I would tell them that you just want it noted and that as of right now, you don't expect anything to be done about it, but that if something should happen in the future, you want it documented. As for calling you useless - that is completely unprofessional and unacceptable and I would expect some action to be taken.

Posted 2/19/15 9:24 AM
 

JDubs
different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts

Name:

Re: Would you go to HR?

Yes. First off he called you "useless" and secondly he is threatening to give you a bad review for something not having to do with anything work-related.

Posted 2/19/15 9:26 AM
 

Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU

Member since 3/07

13921 total posts

Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU

Re: Would you go to HR?

Id go to hr. Without a doubt

Posted 2/19/15 9:38 AM
 

WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

7391 total posts

Name:
Name

Would you go to HR?

Definitely, unless you have a very sarcastic relationship. My bosses and I say things to each other that would make HR cringe but it's all in fun and they respect me as much as I respect them.

Posted 2/19/15 9:39 AM
 

kimmaymb20
a year of surprise

Member since 7/09

1119 total posts

Name:
Kimberly

Would you go to HR?

Tell HR. I had a job where I was harassed by a manager and I wish I had went to HR and logged my complaints I probably wouldn't have been fired when I was doing my job but my manager didn't like it.

Posted 2/19/15 9:41 AM
 

jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us

Member since 4/13

7238 total posts

Name:
Jessica

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by Paramount

IMHO yes. Your boss should never call you useless. And to threaten you? (Bad review)!!!!

This is what it comes down to. You would be protecting yourself but be open to the boss retaliating. It's F'ed and you don't win either way. At least this way you have the upper hand and if the buss retaliates you have it in paper FIRST.



This. You need to get everything down in writing as formal complaints with HR. Because this boss will NOT stop here. You need, from now on, to document EVERYTHING that is said to you, EVERYTHING that might even be said outside of work hours, AND be aware of what might be going on at daycare. I, personally, would inform the teachers at the daycare of the personal relationship between the two of you and to ask that they keep an eye on anything that might be going on. I mean really, these are KIDS for goodness sake, they hit, they rough house, they bite sometimes (I did all 3 as a kid, I once bit a girl on the playground at school, I have no recollection as to WHY, I just remember doing it, I was an a$$ of a kid), but seriously, GET OVER IT!

Posted 2/19/15 9:51 AM
 

Rosie0613
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/10

875 total posts

Name:
Rosie

Re: Would you go to HR?

Yes I would definitely go to HR. You need to protect yourself and put it on record.

I had a manager once that was degrading and I never went to HR. Found out that he was doing the same to a bunch of other people and he would have gotten fired much earlier than he was if we had all gone to HR.

Posted 2/19/15 9:51 AM
 

jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us

Member since 4/13

7238 total posts

Name:
Jessica

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by pumpkinmom

Sounds like they were joking to me - to write something about your kid on a review.



From what the OP also wrote about the boss, this does NOT sound like a joke. I've known and worked with people like this, and believe you me, they are definitely not joking and would find some way to tie it into the review.

Posted 2/19/15 9:54 AM
 

NearTheSea1025
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/14

694 total posts

Name:
C

Re: Would you go to HR?

Posted by janedoe

I would most definitly go to HR
That was a threat that has absolutely nothing to do with you and your job performance !



Eww, yes I totally agree with the above. What an ass. I'm so sorry!

Posted 2/19/15 9:55 AM
 

beachgirl
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7967 total posts

Name:
sara

Re: Would you go to HR?

Sounds like he was joking to me but like everything else you were the only one who was there, you know this person and you know how it was delivered. I have worked with people with very sarcastic personalities in the past and they could have said something like this but even though I would have been annoyed I would have brushed it off as i know them and would have known they were joking.

Only you know what you need to do as you know this person.

However if this came up in anyones review it should be laughed out of the room. Who can bring up a scenario in daycare over someone's child during a review?

Posted 2/19/15 9:58 AM
 
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