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Punishment advice

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BellyBlessings
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

574 total posts

Name:

Punishment advice

So my 3 year old has not been listening. At night, I stay in his room until he falls asleep, which I don't mind at all - and he loves it. We told him that the next time he doesn't listen I will not stay with him until he falls asleep - that is his punishment. Today, he purposely didn't listen and was so defiant... I told him that because he didn't listen I am not staying in his room tonight. He is SO upset. It's really hitting home. He is being sooo good. Every now and then he will say, "Please stay with me tonight, mama." I tell him that I can't stay with him tonight because he didn't listen and he understands, but is really upset. Tell me I'm doing the right thing and that I should not stay with him tonight. Or tell me something else lol what do you think?

Posted 8/31/13 1:40 PM
 

InShock
life is good

Member since 10/06

9258 total posts

Name:

Re: Punishment advice

Follow through. Chat Icon

Posted 8/31/13 1:59 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19452 total posts

Name:
L

Punishment advice

Follow through with it or he won't listen next time.

Posted 8/31/13 2:12 PM
 

MichLiz213
Life is Good!

Member since 7/07

7979 total posts

Name:

Punishment advice

As hard as it is, I would follow through.

Posted 8/31/13 3:31 PM
 

MommaG
Yay Spring!

Member since 5/05

5133 total posts

Name:
Gloria

Punishment advice

I would follow through but in the future, try to correlate the punishment to the offense (if you tell him to pick up his toys and he doesn't, then he doesn't get to play with the toys tomorrow, for example). That way he will relate it to what he did wrong.

Posted 8/31/13 3:49 PM
 

MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!

Member since 8/09

6631 total posts

Name:
M

Re: Punishment advice

I agree with above. And truthfully don't even know if I would follow through. It seems a bit harsh to me.
You need natural consequences, that punishment is not related to his offense. If he acts up at the park, you leave the park. If he throws things, he cleans them up. He needs to see the relationship between what he did, and the punishment, a cause and effect. To see you are not being "mean", but teaching him.

Posted 8/31/13 4:03 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Punishment advice

If you say it, it must be done. But next time pick a more immediate consequence, and have rewards for doing good listening as well!

Posted 8/31/13 4:08 PM
 

BellyBlessings
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

574 total posts

Name:

Re: Punishment advice

So what would be an appropriate consequence for going downstairs when I told him not to?

Typically, his punishments are related to his offense. But in this case it's a general listening problem so I wanted to do something that would affect him and make him understand how important listening is and that not listening to mommy and daddy will not be tolerated.

I've decided that I'm going to stick with the punishment. Thanks for your feedback!

Message edited 8/31/2013 4:50:33 PM.

Posted 8/31/13 4:36 PM
 

twicethefun
Loving life

Member since 7/06

4088 total posts

Name:

Re: Punishment advice

I bet if you follow through tonight, he will listen. Sit outside his room and assure him you are still there and he is still safe, but follow thru

Posted 8/31/13 9:42 PM
 

patti08
Happy

Member since 5/05

3893 total posts

Name:
Patti

Re: Punishment advice

If there was no easy immediate consequence for DD to understand she would get a short time out and then I would get down on her level to discuss why.

We used a reward system for when bad behaviors got corrected.

Posted 9/3/13 11:40 AM
 

MrsO
Big Brothers to Be

Member since 1/07

4519 total posts

Name:
Maureen

Re: Punishment advice

Posted by BellyBlessings

So what would be an appropriate consequence for going downstairs when I told him not to?

Typically, his punishments are related to his offense. But in this case it's a general listening problem so I wanted to do something that would affect him and make him understand how important listening is and that not listening to mommy and daddy will not be tolerated.

I've decided that I'm going to stick with the punishment. Thanks for your feedback!



How did it go? I agree following through is important.

If this happened early in the day you could always let him earn it back by listening to you for the entire rest of the day until bedtime.

Posted 9/3/13 12:55 PM
 

BellyBlessings
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/08

574 total posts

Name:

Re: Punishment advice

It went well! He didn't like when I left the room and got really upset - but I can tell he is listening more! He doesn't like the punishment so he is trying to avoid it! I'd say it's working! Thank you Chat Icon

Posted 9/3/13 4:09 PM
 

MrsBumbleb
it's me

Member since 5/05

11234 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Punishment advice

you are doing the right thing. My daughter loses her lullabies or books if she doesn't behave. She literally will scream herself to sleep sometimes.

Posted 9/5/13 8:45 AM
 
 

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