Im so done

With all this bachlerette party drama...

For those who have followed my story:

We nixed the partying in the city thing for the preg. bride to be who is on "bedrest"....

and I planned a nice dinner at Pasta, Pasta, and then fondu for desert @ toast...

I figured she could still do "some" of those bridal scavenger hunt things- since there are a few bars down port... although it might be a little more difficult considering she is preg!

WELL-

I just got off the phone with her, and one of the other BM's... and seriously- how the hell can I get out of this?

Yes the bride to be who is 5 months preg. plans on DRINKING...


Now while I was pg. my Dr had said to me once before- that one glass of wine in moderation was fine... BUT- I believe this girls exact words was...

"If you get drunk once... its not gonna effect the baby"- oh and "One shot's and a couple of beers isnt gonna do anything"


SERIOUSLY- How am I supposed to go out- and flat out witness something I am 100% against????


Im sorry- but NO PARTY in the world- is worth risking my unborn babys health....

I dont wanna go- and really- I dont even think I want to speak to someone as selfish as shes being!

Re: Im so done

WOW! I cannot believe that story! I wouldn't want to go either. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice. Just, good luck!

Re: Im so done

For me, I would never compromise my morals and beliefs for someone else, especially on sometihing like this . Plain and simple. Good Luck in whatever you decide it can't be easy I know

Message edited 9/3/2006 3:27:43 PM.

Re: Im so done

Any guidance on how to handle this?

I kept piping in that- well my Dr said one glass of wine (and wine only) was ok in moderation (like once a month)

and that getting drunk could infact hurt the baby..

They came back with- the only time drinking effects your baby is when you are an alcoholic


I just kept telling them they are wrong... however dont feel Ive stood my ground enough...


I dont drink.... so its not like all her friends are gonna be drunk... so I cant see what the issue is here....


Im driving..... and seriosuly see myself- walking out and leaving if I see her drinking....

But then part of me feels bad for leaving them there...


I want an out sooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!

Re: Im so done

Posted by Princessmaris


"If you get drunk once... its not gonna effect the baby"- oh and "One shot's and a couple of beers isnt gonna do anything"

Re: Im so done

I just wanna add-

I wanna spend my time with DH and DS tonight- not ref. an unfit prg mother and bride to be!

Re: Im so done

Posted by LisaW

Posted by Princessmaris


"If you get drunk once... its not gonna effect the baby"- oh and "One shot's and a couple of beers isnt gonna do anything"

As someone who has been trying to get pg for quite a long time...

I am seriously DISGUSTED

So unfair...

And I don't blame you for not going...

I could never stomach to watch something like that.

Message edited 9/3/2006 3:33:09 PM.

Re: Im so done

Posted by Princessmaris

Any guidance on how to handle this?

I kept piping in that- well my Dr said one glass of wine (and wine only) was ok in moderation (like once a month)

and that getting drunk could infact hurt the baby..

They came back with- the only time drinking effects your baby is when you are an alcoholic


I just kept telling them they are wrong... however dont feel Ive stood my ground enough...


I dont drink.... so its not like all her friends are gonna be drunk... so I cant see what the issue is here....


Im driving..... and seriosuly see myself- walking out and leaving if I see her drinking....

But then part of me feels bad for leaving them there...


I want an out sooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!

Re: Im so done

Would it be horrible to use my son as an excuse not to go???

Will it make the wedding next week really uncomfortable?

Re: Im so done

Posted by atracinact

Posted by Princessmaris

Any guidance on how to handle this?

I kept piping in that- well my Dr said one glass of wine (and wine only) was ok in moderation (like once a month)

and that getting drunk could infact hurt the baby..

They came back with- the only time drinking effects your baby is when you are an alcoholic


I just kept telling them they are wrong... however dont feel Ive stood my ground enough...


I dont drink.... so its not like all her friends are gonna be drunk... so I cant see what the issue is here....


Im driving..... and seriosuly see myself- walking out and leaving if I see her drinking....

But then part of me feels bad for leaving them there...


I want an out sooooooooooooooooooooo bad!!!

It may be hard to do but with strength i would just say I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable with the situation and I will not be able to participate .

Re: Im so done

Honstly I would just tell her that you can't stand by and witness her get drunk when she's 5 months preggo and you aren't going. That's just me.

What are the other BM saying about this?

I can't believe the stupidity of some people! I feel sorry for her baby!

(and you!)

Re: Im so done

Re: Im so done

Re: Im so done

Re: Im so done

Posted by kelly4

Honstly I would just tell her that you can't stand by and witness her get drunk when she's 5 months preggo and you aren't going. That's just me.

What are the other BM saying about this?

I can't believe the stupidity of some people! I feel sorry for her baby!

(and you!)

Re: Im so done

I definitely would not go and I wouldn't be friends with someone like that either.

Re: Im so done

Another thought.If you do go and storm out of there because of what you see(you are human after all) that would result in the same out come with
alot worse feelings all around-mainly yours!jhmo

Re: Im so done

Re: Im so done

Posted by atracinact

Another thought.If you do go and storm out of there because of what you see(you are human after all) that would result in the same out come with
alot worse feelings all around-mainly yours!jhmo

Re: Im so done

You can only have a fight if both parties partake. Just tell her, I'm sorry, I am not comfortable with you drinking while you are pregnant, and I will not be coming tonight because of it. I hope you have a good time, please be safe. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Or something to that effect.

Re: Im so done

Posted by Princessmaris

Posted by atracinact

Posted by Princessmaris

Would it be horrible to use my son as an excuse not to go???

Will it make the wedding next week really uncomfortable?

How you want to feel will be up to how good you feel about your decision.This type of situation really angers me in so many ways. I can only imagine how tough it is for you. IMHO you can stand your ground without a fight and still feel good about your decision.

Thats the thing... I really dont want to FIGHT-

Thats why part of me would rather use my son as an excuse and avoid the whole situation completly....

But part of me wants to make my point known.....that this infact is wrong..

She is a close friend... but there are issues- too many to list...

I love her- but shes screwed me over so many times in the past... that if we stopped talking tomorrow- I would still love her... but my life would go on...

I would like to confront her about this convo- and tell her that because of this- I think Im just gonna stay home- BUT she's with the other BM- and I really dont feel like fighting the 2 of them...KWIM?

Message edited 9/3/2006 3:47:46 PM.

Re: Im so done

Marissa -- -seriously, I would tell them flat out. Listen, I can't be part of something that can harm a child. If you are planning on drinking, as you say you are, then count me out. I won't go. I'll be glad to take you out for a day that doesn't include alcohol, but I can't be part of something that can harm your unborn child.

Then leave it in her hands. If she choses to drink over having you there and keeping her child safe, then she has some serious problems. There will be plenty of time to drink once the baby is born!

And does she think bartenders will actually serve her??? Is she noticably pregnant???

Re: Im so done

I can't even believe what I just read How old is this girl? I would just tell her like other poster did that you can not sit there and watch something so wrong. I mean have the call call her OBGYN and see what they say about her brilliant plan. I can't believe you even have to deal with something like this

Re: Im so done

Posted by Princessmaris

Posted by atracinact

Another thought.If you do go and storm out of there because of what you see(you are human after all) that would result in the same out come with
alot worse feelings all around-mainly yours!jhmo

Maybe Im slow- but Im not sure I understand what you are saying-sorry

Message edited 9/3/2006 3:53:35 PM.

Re: Im so done

That is awful! I would not be able to be around that either. A glass of wine, a beer fine. I am fine with that. Plenty of my friends indulged in that once in a while but getting drunk is so selfish that it makes me sad she is even have a baby.