a non CIO sleeping success story

My son spent 90% of his first year of life sleeping in our bed with us. We tried ferber method of CIO and it worked for a little while but he would revert back and it always left me feeling AWFUL! I hated that we had to end our day with him screaming, feeling abandoned or punished and alone or unloved (at least thats how I imagined he might feel) As my sons first birthday approached DH and I decided it was time. We had to get him into that crib...not that we weren't equally comforted by having him there...We are proud co-sleeping parents! but the picture in our mind of him being in our bed until 7 scared the crap out of us. I didn't do it the night of his birthday because I didn't want him to feel he was being punished on his birthday...2 days after his 1st birthday I put him in his crib and here's how it went:

day 1: DH and I read to him, gave him a bottle put him in the crib and he started crying as soon as he felt me lowering him in. He got right back up pulling up on the crib. I laid him back down he cried and screamed...I started singing a made up song about bed time, rubbing his legsand holding his hand...he calmed down and fell asleep. Slept through the night (until loud daddy woke him up getting ready for work) (1 hour)

day 2: put him in and he cried for maybe a minute. started singing, caressing his face, legs. He changed positions quite a few times and leaned through the slats to give me kisses (30 mins)

day 3: not a peep as I lowered him in. He took a short while to explore his crib toys and then laid down and stared at me for a bit as I hummed and laid my hand on his chest (20 mins)

day 4: not a peep...played with his ocean wonders aquarium crib toy for 2 rounds, leaned his face between the slats a few times for kisses and went right to bed (20 mins)

The times are not including the time it took to read a chapter or 2 and give a bottle etc. but this is amazing progress and he's soooooooo much happier than when I tried CIO. He trusts me and is growing more comfortable with his personal space rather than seeing it as a punishment or feeling lonely / alienated. It's also made bedtime a pleasure for me as well. I SO enjoy this time together rather than him screaming and crying bloody murder and me going in to console and put him down only for him to scream some more. It took a toll on both of us.

Just wanted to post this bc I know there are some who just DON'T want to do CIO or don't feel they have it in them to go through it and I wanted to say...while I don't knock those who CIO...it just wasn't working for us and I didn't like how it made me feel...there is another option. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Re: a non CIO sleeping success story

Thank you for this. We cosleep and DS is 9 months and while I love it, DH is ready to move him to the crib. I refuse to do CIO, so I like seeing stories like this.

a non CIO sleeping success story

Thanks for sharing! We cosleep too, and I woke up this morning and said to DH "it is time to get her out of the bed!" so this is helpful. We did try a few weeks ago right after she turned 1, but I wasn't ready (FTWM, miss her all day and want to sleep with her). She did well though - similar to your DS in that if you stayed with her to relax her to bed she would go to sleep without crying. She suddenly started moving all night into crazy positions and is waking me, taking the covers and just taking over my space. It is time to get her out! Hopefully this method works for us to. Thanks for posting!

Re: a non CIO sleeping success story

Thanks for sharing this. We had a similar experience with DD

a non CIO sleeping success story

Thank you so much for sharing!

DD is 22 months and we don't co-sleep, but bedtime is hit or miss. We tried the CIO method several times and it never worked - she would actually get really worked up and wouldn't go to sleep. I contemplated giving it another go since she is almost 2, but your more graduated and gentle approach sounds more up to our speed.

Re: a non CIO sleeping success story

Thank you for posting. Stories like this reaffirm my conviction to NOT CIO. I also don't knock it...it's just not in me.

DS is turning 7 months and closer to his first birthday we'll try your method. Right now he starts the night in his crib and wakes up in our bed 85% of the time.

CONGRATS!

Re: a non CIO sleeping success story

Thank you so much for posting! CIO has not worked for my son (he's almost 1 yr.) and he falls asleep on the couch while we're holding him. Not the best situation. I will try this and see if it helps!