Does anyone else want to kill....

their DH sometimes during this process?? It sucks that I rely on his sperm so much! I know he wants a baby, but apparently the "pressure" is getting to him. We agreed to try every other day...no complaints. I was away this past weekend, so we BD CD 11 in the morning and CD 12 at night. yesterday was CD 14 and he refused to BD! im also sick, but im on antibiotics! even my doctor said its ok!

he asked me to explain the whole ovulation process to him. he doesnt get why we have to BD on certain days to get pregnant. blah blah blah. then he tells me NEXT month not to tell him when im ovulating. NEXT MONTH?? i dont want to deal with another month of this! plus! hes the one who kept asking me this weekend when am i ovulating! stop asking me if you dont want to know!

i feel like hes being selfish! he keeps saying im just using him for his sperm. im like...cause its not good for you in the process, right?? ugh! i want to scream! all they have to do is supply the freaken sperm then we do all the work!

thanks for letting me vent.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

They really just don't understand the process. My DH didnt want to use the ovulation kits.. didnt want me to discuss with my dr. what he didn't realize was the we can get pregnant maybe 3 days out of the month. he was shocked

ETA: maybe make it so that when you do BD it's not "ok lets go make a baby" Maybe just come on to him so he's not thinking..ok I have to make a baby now..

Message edited 1/23/2009 4:18:44 PM.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

Posted by Linda1003

They really just don't understand the process. My DH didnt want to use the ovulation kits.. didnt want me to discuss with my dr. what he didn't realize was the we can get pregnant maybe 3 days out of the month. he was shocked

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

If you don't mind my asking... how long have you been TTC?

I think you're being a little hard on your DH - although I completely understand your frustrations.

There is definitely a lot of pressure on them to perform on command - which, let's face it - is neither romantic nor sexy... and isn't always fun.

Unfortunately, TTC isn't always just the romantic roll in the hay like we'd imagine it to be and it's not always easy.

When our DHs want this as much as we do.. they feel the pressure and it takes away from the enjoyment of the actual process.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

I had the same issue the 2nd cycle we were trying.. It took a long email from a very good friend for my DH to "get it"... We're on our 5th cycle and now able to laugh at the strict process/schedule of it all


ets: I think it's totally normal the way you are feeling. It is how you *feel* and no one can take that away from you. Hang in there!

Message edited 1/23/2009 4:26:58 PM.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

totally okay to vent about this--this is what this board is for!!!

sometimes guys think they know everything cause some friends of theirs got girls knocked up in HS like nothing.

its like he asks all the time about the process--then can't "perform" when its go time and you really need it...but then probably moans when you're not pregnant, right?

try not to murder him--you do need his sperm...but i totally get why you feel so frustrated....one minute their up and one minute their down with this stuff.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

My DH said that he doesn't want TTC to turn into a "science project" and the first month we missed some major days because he wasn't feeling up to BD. (I went overboard and we did it too much too early) He felt pressure to deliver. So this month I'm not talking about it to him. The days I need him I'm just going to wear lingerie or something. It's kind of a pain...but that's my plan for this month.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

DH and I decided not to make this a bad process. He knows I started tracking, but I never use the science terms. We have a natural good sex life so sex every two or three days is normal.

This is our first month TTC, we will see!

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

All I can say is MEN!!!

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

With our first we weren't careful, our second was a surprise and when we TTC for #3 my DH said he doesn't want any part of the planning. So basically it will be a surprise for him.

It's a big step to start a family and even though you both agreed to trying and wanting to start it's scary so maybe he doesn't want to be as involved. I know I still feel like that and part of me hopes that it just happens like it did the first 2 times.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

Thanks for all the advice guys! I talked to DH again and promised I wouldnt talk TTC terms with him. Not to give TMI, but last night I saw EWCM so I basically seduced him. and it worked!!! Woohoo!

Message edited 1/24/2009 8:24:39 AM.

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

We've only been TTC for two months...the first month was new to both of us. This past month we BD more during the cycle days we should have, but still not as much as we should have because he was "tired." He did not understand why I was getting so annoyed with him about having to do it on certain days until NOW...AF arrived. He never realized that it's not all that easy to get pregnant and now we have to wait another month. So all of a sudden he's showing interest today in when we really need to BD next month. So we sat together and figured it out..and I should him mymonthlycycles and fertility friend so he could see how it worked. It's not when he is ready, and he did not get that Just sit and show him maybe if you explain it to him and he see how it works he will understand it better. Men

Re: Does anyone else want to kill....

ugh yeah they just dont get it... thats men for ya.. hang in there hun