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ArmyOfBabies
Growing older but not up
Member since 7/07 4427 total posts
Name:
Jeri
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
I have lost a handful of friends in various motor vehicle accidents. I like to drive by and see that my friends have not been forgotten.
My one friend was cremated, so there is no gravesite to decorate.
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Posted 3/18/08 10:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by Goldi0218
I think there are safer ways to make dedications. Personally, I would not want to be memorialized on the side of a road.
ITA with this.
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| Posted 3/18/08 10:06 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
As someone who lost her brother to a drunk driver, the memorial where he died actually brought us comfort.
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| Posted 3/18/08 10:08 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by niikki-8-18-06
As someone who lost her brother to a drunk driver, the memorial where he died actually brought us comfort.
So sorry!! Where is his memorial?
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| Posted 3/18/08 10:12 PM |
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XFINALLYX
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 563 total posts
Name:
Kimmie
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
This is a sensitive subject for me. one of my best friends died in coram about 3 years ago and we all put up a memorial and had a couple of candle light vigils. The town took it down like a month later. I felt it was inappropriate.
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| Posted 3/18/08 10:48 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Why do some get removed, and some stay?
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| Posted 3/18/08 10:54 PM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I have lost a handful of friends in various motor vehicle accidents. I like to drive by and see that my friends have not been forgotten.
My one friend was cremated, so there is no gravesite to decorate.
That is unfortunate. My brothers were both cremated, but they still have gravesite.
I think the thing to remember is that everyone has a different way of handling grief. There is no right or wrong. For some, these memorials will bring some relief. My grieving process was different. I also don't go to visit their graves because it is the same sort of thing to me. I say whatever helps you get through is what you should focus on.
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:26 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Distraction, dangerous and litter.
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:31 PM |
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XFINALLYX
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 563 total posts
Name:
Kimmie
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by karacg
Distraction, dangerous and litter.
how is it litter? that's pretty harsh
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:41 PM |
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JustJack
:)
Member since 2/06 2041 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by heidla
Posted by ArmyOfBabies
I have lost a handful of friends in various motor vehicle accidents. I like to drive by and see that my friends have not been forgotten.
My one friend was cremated, so there is no gravesite to decorate.
That is unfortunate. My brothers were both cremated, but they still have gravesite.
I think the thing to remember is that everyone has a different way of handling grief. There is no right or wrong. For some, these memorials will bring some relief. My grieving process was different. I also don't go to visit their graves because it is the same sort of thing to me. I say whatever helps you get through is what you should focus on.
My brother passed away too, not from a car accident though. But from loosing someone, especially so young (16), I know that people need to grieve in their own way. I know his friends grieved in so many different ways, and its everyones right to do so.
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:42 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by XFINALLYX
Posted by karacg
Distraction, dangerous and litter.
how is it litter? that's pretty harsh
No I could see it... I put flowers up for my friend... BUT thinking about someone putting a potted plant when that plant dies the old pot is litter. If a sign blows away it's litter
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:44 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by XFINALLYX
Posted by karacg
Distraction, dangerous and litter.
how is it litter? that's pretty harsh
When it is torn and tattered, blowing around the road, it's litter - anything that isn't biodegradable.
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:49 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Dedication.
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| Posted 3/18/08 11:59 PM |
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partyof6
b nice like u want ur kidz 2
Member since 7/06 7752 total posts
Name:
jeannine
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
ok I have alot of thoughts on this...
#1--in Bayport we have a train that runs through the town that is not elevated-no platform and easily accessed. We have a high rate of train suicides...high meaning...in the 8 years I have been here there have been three...2 kids one adult.
When they did roadside memorials the cops had to sit and watch--and at night when the cops left they drank and there were beer bottles all over...
so yes...they go there to think and numb the pain.
While I understand they feel like they are paying tribute it is turning into litter...a jacket hanging---flowers---bears....candles you name it...and then noone maintains it and it looks bad.
Nichols rd is hideous...I find myself staring at that and not the road---distraction.
I did notice lately---there are red signs that say take them down or they will be removed...
While it is a nice thought soon---the entire Long Island will be a ridden gravesite.
I feel if you want to pay tribute---what is wrong with a candle light vigil or something?
this is my opinion...
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| Posted 3/19/08 7:41 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Distraction. I personally don't like them and think there are better ways to memorialize a person.
I think if there were one in front of my house or business (which I have seen), I would want it removed after an appropriate amount of time.
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| Posted 3/19/08 8:52 AM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
As most of you know DH's uncle was murdered in Franklin Square on his way home from work. His family wanted to make a memorial on the corner where he was shot but the people who live in that area would not allow them to do so because they did not want their block to become to busy with on lookers.
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| Posted 3/19/08 9:30 AM |
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MrsYank
She's here :)
Member since 4/07 3238 total posts
Name:
Mrs. Yank
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
I think it is a dedication, and also a reminder to slow down and drive carefully
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| Posted 3/19/08 10:46 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by nel
Posted by lipglossjunky73
My stepdaughter's friend got killed in an accident, and a note went home that they should not set up roadside memorials because they could get hit while setting them up and encourage kids to go there and numb their pain with drugs.... I dunno about that....
I'm not a huge fan of them purely because they make me sad, but as a high school teacher, I can see their value to the mourners. We've lost too many students to car accidents over the years, and I know how important it is for their friends to have a place like this to go. Honestly, I can see how it WOULD be a distraction, but if it helps people come to terms with tragic losses like these ... well, I wouldn't want to imagine my students' reactions if they suddenly discovered that one of these was taken down.
I'm not exactly sure that the side of a road or highway is the safest place for children to be going to mourn. I assume many of these chlidren are buried and have gravesites for mourner's to visit.
I don't have strong feelings either way about taking them down. I don't find them distracting (though they make me sad and remind me to be more careful sometimes), and I've never found debris in the roads from them. That said, I do guess there is merit to the argument that they are distracting and/or dangerous to the people who visit (especially the ones on busy roads and highways).
They don't bother me at all. I don't mind if they stay up. If it's true that they are a distraction to others and there is a problem with litter, though, I'd be okay with taking them down. I do understand that those mourning their loved ones will be upset by that, though. I think that's understandable, though it shouldn't necessarily be the controlling reason for the decision to remove or not remove the memorials.
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| Posted 3/19/08 10:55 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
BTW, many and to those of you who have lose loved ones in accidents.
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| Posted 3/19/08 10:56 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Distraction.
Yes, it's meant as a dedication, but it is a distraction to those driving & in a storm, it's debris on the road. They should be removed.
If everyone was as dedicated as those putting down flowers & other mementos, the roads would be filled.
I agree.
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| Posted 3/19/08 11:08 AM |
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frosty
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 462 total posts
Name:
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
Distraction.
Many times these are located at dangerous sections of road, and I worry that the people who are pulling over to put up or maintain these memorials could possibly get injured themselves.
I have already told DH should I ever pass away in an accident NOT to do something like that (not that he would anyway). I don't think I'd want the exact spot where I passed away "memorialized" for whatever reason.
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| Posted 3/19/08 11:14 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
I posted on page 1 too saying distraction and this is why-
on the road especially on highways when people rubberneck it causes accidents- they could be rubber necking for anything any "distraction"
it is not safe for the drivers on the road
my cousin was a victim of a drunk driver on the new jersey turnpike and we do not celebrate or mourn her death on the highway- that is not where she was layed to rest and frankly who wants to go to the place someone may have suffered to remember them - place memorials and prayers where they are layed to rest
right around my block a kid speeding crashed and smacked right into a tree and died, I feel really bad for the homeowner- there is always a TON of flowers, posters, teddy bears and it really doesnt look nice. the owner had that tree taken down so that no one could post anything anymore- he then planted a new tree and everytime someone puts something there, I see them take it off- and I dont blame them- I personally would not want to be reminded of death right outside my home and constantly picking up the litter after time. its really an eye sore.
everyone has their own way and beliefs, not wrong or right but please remember it can cause another accident if not done correctly. stuff blowing into the road someone swerves to avoid it hitting someone.
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| Posted 3/19/08 11:14 AM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
distraction
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| Posted 3/19/08 11:23 AM |
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IluvBo
NICKY & EVIE
Member since 6/05 3321 total posts
Name:
Rose
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
dedication i think
there is two on the LIE right near my house. it just reminds me more and more to be careful when driving. each of the memorials are extremely well kept and neat. I don't think it is a horrible thing or a distraction. JMHO
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| Posted 3/19/08 11:48 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Roadside Memorials: Dediation or Distraction?
dedication definitely, I always say a quick prayer when I see one of those
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| Posted 3/19/08 12:18 PM |
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