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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
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M
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Re: Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
Posted by LiveItUp
Posted by Katareen
However, I had gifts from "Santa" at both grandparents houses growing up and never questioned a thing. I don't think that's such a big deal.
Its more that she got gifts from Santa from her grandparents, as well as great grandparents, and random aunts and uncles that we're not close with and who she only sees a couple times a year. Why would Santa leave her presents at all those places? 
every single gift DS receives for Christmas is from "Santa". the ones form us, my parents, DHs parents, his godfather, his godmother, his uncle, his aunt, everyone.
We explained to DS that Santa could not get to all the kids in time if he took just one night and he left some gifts at other people's houses at different times so DS would get all his presents.
this worked out perfectly because then we don't have to worry about the questions of how does Santa do it all in one night, and we can still open gifts Christmas Eve without having to worry about Santa coming AFTER DS goes to sleep that night.
If the letters bother you, say something. I think it was just grandma's way of trying to have a special tradition with her grandchild. She should have asked you about it first though.
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Posted 11/13/15 1:33 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
I think it's the cutest thing and wonderful that she take such an interest in your child. Would you be annoyed if your own mother did it or just your MIL?
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| Posted 11/13/15 7:42 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Kitten1929
Wouldn't bother me and I think that she's trying to make special traditions for her and the grandkids as well.
But you have to remember, parents are also trying to make special memories and traditions for their kids and while the gesture was sweet, as grandparents you really do need to run certain things by the parents first. It doesn't mean someone is being ungrateful but I know for myself that the holidays are a big deal for me when it comes to my kids and I would appreciate everyone checking with me first before doing certain things for the holidays.
As a grandmother I do understand what you're saying. However, we aren't perfect. Sometimes we get excited and just do something without thinking or asking. No harm intended. I've done it and it's my daughter.
Her MIL has also done it and my daughter may complain to me about it to get out her frustration before discussing it with MIL.
She never wants to hurt her feelings and appreciates everything she does for the kids.
So basically what I'm saying, is if it bothers you speak up. But do it nicely. You don't want to hurt her feelings for doing something sweet for her grandkids.
Communication is key.
I hope one day you are all blessed with grandkids. They really better than your own kids 
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| Posted 11/13/15 7:53 PM |
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Wishes1111
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 853 total posts
Name:
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Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
It would bother me! I would have your husband speak to her nicely as I definitely don't think its bad intentioned but I would let her know that Santa is something important to you and you'd like to take care of the traditions for it.
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| Posted 11/13/15 10:27 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Kitten1929
Wouldn't bother me and I think that she's trying to make special traditions for her and the grandkids as well.
But you have to remember, parents are also trying to make special memories and traditions for their kids and while the gesture was sweet, as grandparents you really do need to run certain things by the parents first. It doesn't mean someone is being ungrateful but I know for myself that the holidays are a big deal for me when it comes to my kids and I would appreciate everyone checking with me first before doing certain things for the holidays.
As a grandmother I do understand what you're saying. However, we aren't perfect. Sometimes we get excited and just do something without thinking or asking. No harm intended. I've done it and it's my daughter.
Her MIL has also done it and my daughter may complain to me about it to get out her frustration before discussing it with MIL.
She never wants to hurt her feelings and appreciates everything she does for the kids.
So basically what I'm saying, is if it bothers you speak up. But do it nicely. You don't want to hurt her feelings for doing something sweet for her grandkids.
Communication is key.
I hope one day you are all blessed with grandkids. They really better than your own kids
Thanks everyone for all the different perspectives. I definitely know she meant well and I don't want to hurt her feelings. But at the same time, I treasure this time with my Dd while she's young enough to really get excited about Santa, holidays, her birthday, etc. And I really love to do special things for and with her. And I just wish MIL would have asked me first. If she really sounded excited about making the letter, I would have let her be the one to make it, but it would have been nice to be able to ask her to add in a couple details to make the letter more personal.
My mom passed away years ago,but I wouldn't have liked it if she overstepped either. The difference is, with my own mom,I would have been able to discuss it with her and work it all out. But with MIL, if I know that if it try to politely bring it up, she will blow up at me, say a bunch of nasty things to me, and act like a victim. So it makes me feel like I can't say anything. DH is annoyed by the letter too, as well as many other non-Christmas related things she does. But he's also sick of getting blown up at, so he'd rather not talk to her about it either.
So,yes, its nice she's wants to do something sweet and special for Dd, but there's so much more to the story that I didn't put in my original post. Like the fact That we don't hear from her for months at a time. No phone calls to dd even. Then out of no where she decides to start a Christmas tradition with dd without asking us? If she was a more present grandparent, it probably wouldn't have bothered me as much, actually.
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| Posted 11/13/15 11:43 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
I would be annoyed
What if you wanted to send the letter?
Of course she was being nice but IMO it should have been discussed with you before. What if you happened to send one out same time.
I think it's pretty ballsy to just send one on her own
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| Posted 11/14/15 9:40 AM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
I'm sorry but I stand by my original opinion. Id be annoyed. She most certainly should have ran this by you
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| Posted 11/14/15 9:44 AM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another MIL Christmas related question-would this bug you?
I wouldn't like it at all!! I don't have advice because I deal with the same frustrating BS, but I totally get it!
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| Posted 11/14/15 9:21 PM |
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