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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
My daughter's first birthday is coming up soon.
We decided to throw a party with family and some close friends.
I want to send invites to two close friends of mine, but they both live far away (so I know for sure they will not be attending)
My concern is, I don't want them to think I am sending it just so they will send a gift.
I want to include a note in the card that says:
"I know you can't make it, but I just wanted you to have an invite. Please don't send a gift"
But my wife thinks thats awkward and that its better not to send them an invite.
Opinions?
Thanks
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Posted 4/10/15 12:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I just wouldn't send them an invite. That's what I did anyway.
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| Posted 4/10/15 12:24 PM |
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Mara1017
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 696 total posts
Name:
Mara
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I agree with the above poster. We did not send invitations to anyone that was out of town and we knew would not be able to come.
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| Posted 4/10/15 12:48 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Why would you send them an invitation if you know they cannot attend?
Not necessary.
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| Posted 4/10/15 12:52 PM |
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jessnbrian
Only God knows His plan for us
Member since 4/13 7238 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I wouldn't send an invite, because they will absolutely feel obligated to send a gift...
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| Posted 4/10/15 12:55 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I agree with your wife
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| Posted 4/10/15 1:09 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Posted by Mara1017
I agree with the above poster. We did not send invitations to anyone that was out of town and we knew would not be able to come.
This
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| Posted 4/10/15 1:09 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I'm the odd man out. I always send an invite to select people who I know won't come. It's not for gifts bUT because I aways do photo invites and they love to see them. But it's only by inlaws and best friend who always send gifts anyway.
Since you don't want them to feel obligated to send a gift I just wouldn't send an invite because then they would feel obligated.
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| Posted 4/10/15 1:10 PM |
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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Posted by JME78
Why would you send them an invitation if you know they cannot attend?
Not necessary.
Kind of to keep them involved.
Let them know I care, etc...
So you all think including a note asking them not to send a gift is weird?
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| Posted 4/10/15 1:15 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Posted by newlywedT
Posted by JME78
Why would you send them an invitation if you know they cannot attend?
Not necessary.
Kind of to keep them involved.
Let them know I care, etc...
So you all think including a note asking them not to send a gift is weird?
If it were me and I got an invite with a note like that inside, I would still send a gift. But that's just me. IMO I don't think it's necessary to send an invite. If it were a baptism or other bigger event I would probably say yes though.
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| Posted 4/10/15 2:22 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I agree with your wife, I wouldn't send an invite.
I love my friends and I adore their kids, but I don't need more paper to save.
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| Posted 4/10/15 2:52 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I guess I am the minority but I would still send the invite, more then once I have had someone miss a party they could have attended easiliy and I did not invite them because I "thought" they could not make it. (Person in town for another family event, needed to come here anyway but could have been flexible with dates , etc.) If you want to include a note say you are sending this because "hey you never know" , or "just incase".
I guess I am also in the minority in that I would not send a gift just because I was invited unless it was someone really close to me (in which case I would send a gift regardless of being invited to an event or not).
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| Posted 4/10/15 2:59 PM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I agree with the above poster. I would bet that the out of state people would either send a gift or not no matter if they got an invite or not. I have recieved plenty of invites that are local and we couldnt go that I did not send a gift. I have also always sent a gift to out of state people wether I was invited to a bday party or not. I think its more about the relationship than recieving an invite.
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| Posted 4/10/15 3:11 PM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
"Kind of to keep them involved.
Let them know I care, etc..."
This is exactly the reason why I'd do it. To let them know I care for them and that they're in my mind. But I only do this with all my sisters/bother (we're a lot and some of them live out of state or out of the country), and my very close friends.
Message edited 4/10/2015 7:22:59 PM.
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| Posted 4/10/15 5:18 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I would send the invite but no note. I have a close friend who lives far and I invite her to everything fully expecting she won't be able to come. I usually text her to give her the heads up saying I sent you an invite and I know you probably can't make it but you never know  . Twice she has come to events. She was planning on coming to Ny around those dates anyway, so she just made sure she was in town then.
I told her I don't want her to ever feel obligated but I don't want to exclude her either. She said no, send me the invite and let me decide, because you never know! 99% of the time she doesn't make it and there are no hard feelings on either side, but like I said we talked about this a long time ago.
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| Posted 4/10/15 6:56 PM |
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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
Name:
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
I would still send an invite. My 3 best friends all live in different states and none are close to here (California, Texas, Minnesota). When it came time for my baby shower, I of course knew they wouldn't be able to make it but I couldn't imagine not sending them an invite. I attached a little post-it note to the invites saying something like, "I know that the thousands of miles between us makes travel difficult, but I wanted you to feel included in your future niece's special day!" I feel that its a very small gesture that goes a long way.
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| Posted 4/10/15 7:34 PM |
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Mom1234
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 576 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Posted by newlywedT
Posted by JME78
Why would you send them an invitation if you know they cannot attend?
Not necessary.
Kind of to keep them involved.
Let them know I care, etc...
So you all think including a note asking them not to send a gift is weird?
absolutely send them an invite. i have a few out of state friends and they have specifically told me that they feel hurt when the invitation isn't sent bc they feel like we don't care anymore. which i totally get. i would send the invitation but i wouldn't put a note in the envelope, i would just send a text and say what you want to say
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| Posted 4/10/15 9:08 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7634 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Posted by Mom1234
Posted by newlywedT
Posted by JME78
Why would you send them an invitation if you know they cannot attend?
Not necessary.
Kind of to keep them involved.
Let them know I care, etc...
So you all think including a note asking them not to send a gift is weird?
absolutely send them an invite. i have a few out of state friends and they have specifically told me that they feel hurt when the invitation isn't sent bc they feel like we don't care anymore. which i totally get. i would send the invitation but i wouldn't put a note in the envelope, i would just send a text and say what you want to say
This! I am the out of town friend and I'd be upset if I wasn't invited and everyone else was.
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| Posted 4/11/15 6:16 AM |
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StarsStripes
LIF Adult
Member since 12/12 1192 total posts
Name:
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Birthday Invitation - how to phrase...
Send an invite and when they call to tell you they cannot attend tell them you understand and PLEASE do not send a gift!! Though they probably will anyway!
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| Posted 4/12/15 8:32 PM |
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