Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

here are the reasons i almost gave up and the reasons i kept going

bf'ing in the beginning can take a long time. babies are sleepy, and you have to keep tickling them to wake them up. I had twins, and I didnt tandem feed in the beginning so I would nurse one for 45 minutes, then the other. I had to feed them every 2 hours in the beginning because they were so tiny, so I pretty much had a half an hour to pee and eat. This period did not last long, and the advantage was that DH had to do everything else!! (I loved having an excuse to lay in bed all day lol- still do!)

they may not latch well and it hurts. it may hurt even if they do latch well. it doesnt last. Mine, although their latch seemed fine and they transferred milk very well, my nipples hurt like hell for about 3 weeks. this period also did not last long.

i had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them. i still do. dh helps me by bringing one baby or the other to me, but now we cosleep with one baby at a time because our bed isnt big enough lol. if you're planning on pumping, you need to pump each time baby eats, so if DH was feeding them pumped milk i had to get up anyway. I may as well have just bf'ed and cut out the middle man.

i had no idea what i was doing and was worried they werent eating enough. so i had an LC visit. She told me that their weights and diaper output were great, which are the only true signs of milk supply. now im part of the kellymom facebook group and have learned a ton about overcoming challenges. now i have learned my babies cues and know when they're hungry.

After that I decided to exclusively pump. I felt like they were inefficient nursers. I didnt know them or their cues yet. I didnt know bfing yet. I thought they were being inefficient nursers, when actually they just wanted to nurse for a long time because of the comfort it provided. That's why they create pacifiers shaped like your nipple. It's totally natural for baby to want to comfort suck. I was really frustrated. I didnt think to wear them in the baby carrier (it's harder to do that with twins), nor was I comfortable with cosleeping at that point. Those two things would've made life a lot easier and I probably wouldnt have given up. During that time I had to supplement with formula because I never could pump enough for their needs. It was not something I was ever satisfied with, and made a concerted effort to get them back to EBF.

I never stopped comfort nursing because I loved the closeness. Luckily, that managed to help me get them back to EBF after 3 months. Now they're back to nursing and I absolutely love it. It's the best thing I could have ever done, for me and for my kids. I love snuggling with them, knowing that my body is powerful enough to not only create but grow a baby (babies) to thrive. This is my personal experience that I'm sharing, it's not meant to knock anyone else's. But I didnt want you to keep hearing negative experiences. Yes, there are difficulties and you can overcome most of them, if you are willing. I have always been very intent and focused on bfing and nothing was going to get in the way of that. I am also very lucky to have a ton of support from my friends and family, even if they don't understand it. i'd say it was the hardest and best thing ive ever done. hope this helps you make you feel confident in your decision.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Posted by gina409

for me i never had the desire

i was not physically comfortable with my child on my boob

i also did not want to be the sole one feeding our children

i knew if i tried i would hate it and feel like a failure and the pressure etc and i spent too dam long trying to get pregnant not to enjoy my children

i and my husband have bonded with our twins just fine and they are perfectly healthy and happy and have been on formula since day 1

it is great if you bf and it is also great if you do not

if you want to try it go for it but dont do it bc u feel u have to or bc of the pressure

people were shocked when i said i was not planning to bf and now when they see my twins you would be surprised how many people ask if you are breastfeeding

the look of despair when i say no use to get to me but i am way too busy now to even care

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I knew I never wanted to breastfeed for several reasons one of them being I am just not comfortable with the idea but the main reason was I didn't want have to stress or worry about how much the baby was eating or was the baby getting enough are they just using my boob as a pacifier.
To me all the above was reason enough to keep my sanity.
With that said I got pushed/decided to pump I had said I would do it for 6 weeks I knew no matter what the max would be twelve cause I wasn't doing it at work. DH at first was pushing me to do it for 12 I laughed and told him when he starts doing it he can decided how long to do it for.

I was miserable for all 6 weeks of pumping. All I felt like I did was feed her pump wash bottles ( didn't have a washing machine at the time and I had dr brown bottles )

So this time I am really on fence if I am even going to brother to pump at all. I will probably guilt myself into trying it. I have dishwasher so maybe it won't be as bad but I still don't know.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

When I had my dd I never gave bfing a second thought. It just wasn't something I ever thought about doing. Now with this baby I'm planning on trying it but if I don't like it or it gets too stressful, I have no problem stopping and giving formula.

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I always said I was going to "try" but I wasn't going to drive myself crazy with it. In my head I had a vaginal birth and would go straight to skin to skin and BFing. When that vision didn't happen to me it just got complicated. DS went to the NICU right away and I was so tired from laboring for 12+ hours and pushing for 2 hours and then having a c section that I didn't even see DS until the next day. I was too tired to pump until the next day as well.

I pumped twice and NOTHING came out. I started to get discouraged and DH and I argued about it. I went to go prove that nothing was coming out and I got some in the pump. DH and I agreed that I would try for a day to pump and see how it worked out. I pumped every 3 hours and only got stuff about 3 times.

I even sat in the NICU with the LC to try and breastfeed. I finally decided it just wasn't for me. I tried for 24 hours or so and I just didn't continue. I think it came down that I just wasn't the BFing type of mom. DS is taking well to formula so far and hopefully he stays like that.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I had all intentions of BFing. DS did not latch properly, I became very infected and once he got the bottle there was no getting him to latch so I pumped, except I didn't have a good supply so I dried up in 4 weeks and formula fed from there.

I felt badly about it bc 'breast is best' but ultimately it didn't work.

I was FF as was my brother, DH, SIL etc. I have a wonderful immune system and am fairly intelligent so I try not to beat myself up about it.

For #2 I hope BFing works out, if only for the first few weeks so the baby gets the collostrum.

Message edited 7/8/2013 7:46:43 PM.

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I had intentions of nursing LO, but never really did my research. He couldn't latch, was having wt issues and still jaundice at 4 weeks. Every single session I would cry. I'd try and latch him, then pump and give him a bottle of expressed milk. We also used a nipple shield. I had an IBCLC come and help us out. Great help and very encouraging.
My family and friends weren't as supportive as they should've been. In order to successfully BF, you need a LARGE SUPPORT SYSTEM!
So at 4w I decided to pump and just cut out the latch stress. Then I realized I had a kid that needed to be held 24/7 and would scream the entire time I pumped. So I stopped.

Biggest regret of my life. I have since come to terms with my lack of education in BFing, lack of support, and lack of wanting to push through.

This time, my family and friends all understand how much this means to me and will continue to push me. I will not have any formula in the house, and I have the mentality that I WILL breastfeed. Giving up is not an option and I will be successful. Plus I will have experienced mamas and professionals on speed dial, if need be.

I know I wrote a lot and not sure if any of it helped. But my point was that you really HAVE to want to do it and fight for it. It's a beautiful thing and formula does not compare. This is coming from someone who FF.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I breastfed (and it took a lot of work/diet changes/stress for me) but here are the pro's and con's now that I have weaned him at 13 months

Potential cons (note many women do not have these issues, I did)
1. Had to alter my entire diet (DS was dairy intolerant and still is), no dairy products for me, hidden or obvious, no eating out etc for an entire year
2. It really is all on you. Yes you can pump and DH can "help" but ideally you don't introduce the bottle right away and also even if you have someone give your DC a bottle so you can "get a break" you have to pump to make up for it or your supply will ulitmately suffer. So really, you are NEVER off duty. I have had to pump in restrooms/car etc just so I could go out and not worry about my supply taking a hit
3. pumping if you are a working mom (not always easy depending on your job)
4. blaming yourself for every burp/gassy fussy evening, weight gain or loss etc (as in what did I eat, maybe my supply is low, maybe I have thrush or mastitis, etc)
5. Not easy if you have a type A personality who likes to know exactly how much is going in at a time
6. wasn't able to successfully BF in public as my DS just never liked covers and needed very little distraction to eat successfully.
7. DMER ( weird anxiety/depression feelings during letdown only)

Pros
1. Financially save a ton of money (esp. since we would need to have purchased special formula)
2. You have the perfectly formulated food for YOUR baby, nothing can ever match that, no formula or milk replacer
3. Supposed benefits that research lists (probably overblown in my opinion but whatever)
4. Empowerment that you can provide for your baby, and or stuck through a tough transition (it's not always easy)
5. Food is always ready to go and warm lol (even if you need to BF in your car)
6. Bonding (again I think you can bond just as well with a bottle, I have enjoyed feeding my DS both ways)
7. Fascination with science (for me). It is freaking amazing that we as mammals have this amazing ability to produce food and nourish our babies!

Despite all of my cons, I plan on BFing my next child to weaning as well. Hopefully I won' t be as hard on myself but knowing my personality I will be hehe. Good luck whatever you decide :)

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Because I had absolutely no desire to at any point in my life
Because the thought of it made me uncomfortable to the point of tears
Because it seemed unnatural TO ME
Because I knew formula was just as good and easier and less stressful
Because I was going back to work in 8 weeks and no way in helll was I pumping at work etc.
It was not ever, nor would it ever be, a thought in my mind, a consideration, up for debate, an "I will try it", nothing.
I never knew something with such certainty in my life.
Because now that I look at my healthy, strong, smart DD who was exclusively FF I am even more convinced I did the right thing.
My DD is NEVER sick- and she was in daycare since 8 weeks. Other than an ear infection and head cold, she never is sick. So that immunity thing- not the case for us! I would love for someone to tell me one benefit she did not receive. Would she be even healthier if I had BFed her? Smarter? I think not.
And FYI... because I was so confident in and owned my decision that much not ONE person - family, friend, or nurse in the hospital, questioned it....not once!

Message edited 7/9/2013 8:50:28 AM.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I knew I wanted to breastfeed from the beginning; to save money mostly. It was extremely difficult in the beginning *for me*. We had to work at it. DS cried a lot and was not gaining weight. At 1 month old, our Dr suggested to supplement; alternating breast and formula. We tried it and it worked for us, DS was satisfied and it allowed me to relax a little, establish my supply and learn to pump (I had to return to work). DS is now 7 months and we are still going strong. He gets breastmilk 3x a day and formula 1-2x a day. I mostly pump now since returning to work but do BF at least 1 a day (either first thing in the AM or right before bed). I love the cuddling, the closeness, watching him feed; absolutely everything about it. Its something that we get to do and bond, I find it to be a beautiful thing. There are times he just comfort nurses, and that's okay with me too; it is something I will definitely miss.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I thought that I would try it. My DD was not an easy latch I had some trouble in the begining and had 3 lactation consultations the one at home was the one that showed me how to pump correctly. I wound up getting mastitis and lost 95% supply in one breast. I cried in the hospital when on day 4 DD fed for 4 hrs and i gave in an gave her a nurser of formula. My mother could not understand why I would want to breastfeed when it was so much easier to just give her a bottle. She wouldnt even look at me when I was doing it.

Its not for everyone and you will know when you get to that point.

If you do it for a day or 365 its still good for LO.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Posted by maybebaby
My kids are pretty damn smart BTW! Thanks to good ol enfamil, lol

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

When I was preg with DD I was on the fence and said I would "give it a try." I ultimately pumped exclusively for 7 months. But the whole time I said "a happy mom is a happy baby," whatever that would have meant for me. IMO, your happiness and stress level is most important for you, baby and family. Now Im preg with #2. I plan on giving breastfeeding "a try" again.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Stressful.
I needed balance between being a mom, wife, working and myself.
Formula is a great option and I know plenty of FF babies who are thriving.

DD is thriving and growing and hitting milestones earlier than expected.
With my next child I plan on going straight to the bottle with no guilt.

Whether you choose formula or nursing you are feeding and nourishing your baby.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

With DS I had depression because I didnt get enough milk and struggled for three months. This time around I tried but I didn't get enough milk and it was hard with DS who is almost 2 and a half. You have to do what is right for you. If you want to ask questions FM me.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Posted by NervousNell

Posted by maybebaby
My kids are pretty damn smart BTW! Thanks to good ol enfamil, lol

Let me tell you, if BFing would have made her any smarter than she is now, I am certainly glad I didn't do it.
Because she would be smarter than DH and I right now in that case- and I am not comfortable with a 3 year old knowing more than I do!