If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Why?

I know almost no one who chose to breastfeed and I know some moms have no choice but I know others who didn't even try.

Absolutely NO judgement. I've read a lot of the pros of BF such as immunity, it's free, convenience. I'm just trying to get both sides and evaluate why you may not want to breastfeed.

I know this is a hot topic. I don't know or care which one is better. I just want up hear from some moms who chose not to so I know I'm getting info from both sides.

I currently plan to try to breastfeed, but so few people I know doing it makes me pause.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I tried with my first but it just wasnt working (he did't have a good latch, i was producing enough milk....) and on top of that he had a milk allergy and needed surgery for pyloric stenosis.... We were doomed from the beginning.

This time around, I probably won't even try. On top of everything I mentioned with my first I feel like I didn't give myself a chance to heal quickly from my CS because I was up every two hours feeding and not really taking care of myself. I don't want to do that again.

But that is why science is so great... For those of us who can't or don't wish to BF, there are alternatives.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I mean, my mother had all three of us and never BF us - and my MIL had DH and his sister, no BF as well. So, I just figured I would do what they did. Who knows once the baby comes along - but, as of now - at this point, I don't think I'll be.

ETA: I have friends that have BF and friends that never did - it's their personal choice and at the end of the day, they all have wonderful children so whichever way you choose - I'm sure you'll have a beautiful child at the end of the day

Message edited 7/7/2013 9:50:05 AM.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I have been having issues with the skin on around my ladies specifically on the nipple since I got my bfp. Even with creams it's been incredibly uncomfortable. I can't immagine then having my lo bf how it would feel. Also I wasn't bf and was extremely healthy so that doesn't bother me. These are the main reasons but I have others

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I didn't enjoy one thing about it. I gave it a try and stopped. I ended up pumping for a few weeks but that was it. I was 100% fine with formula and my kids thrived on it. I loved that DH could wake up and feed the baby a bottle while I needed sleep, and I never wanted to worry about nursing in public (I don't care when others do, but i'm not comfortable with it for myself). To each their own, everyone should do whats best for them and their baby. Formula is perfectly good nutrition!!

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

The thought made me uncomfortable. I don't know why- but it did. I was willing to try it anyhow (or at least try Exclusively Pumping) because I've heard of the benefits- but in the end I wasn't able to (I have severe anxiety issues and I am on a med that is expressed in BM. The anxiety issue is probably what made me feel uncomfortable in the first place)

Message edited 7/7/2013 10:43:13 AM.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Is it difficult? Painful? Harder to get back to "normal" life?

My plan is to try to bf and pump so DH can feed the baby as well

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I chose not to b/c I just didn't like the idea of it. I read up on the benefits etc and it just wasn't enough to sway me. DS thrived on formula and has been less sick than several of his breastfed peers.

Formula feeding also enabled DH to participate a bit more and really bond with DS, which I really liked. I also liked that other family members were able to feed DS when we were out and stuff.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Message edited 7/7/2013 3:56:50 PM.

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

If you are willing to try it, why wouldn't you just give it a try? It is hard at first, but gets much easier. Yes, it hurts in the beginning and yes you nurse round the clock, but you will be up feeding DC round the clock regardless, and putting your boob in their mouth takes a lot less effort than making a bottle IMO. For me it is such a bonding experience, but I guess not everyone feels that way. DD1 had latch issues, but I was persistent and kept pumping to keep up my supple and putting her to the breast until she learned to latch. Then I set small goals, because doing it for a year seemed overwhelming at first. I EBF DD1 until she was 15 months, and now I EBF DD2 who is 2 months. I am a FTWM and I work long hours in the city, and I was able to pump for DD1 and plan on doing the same for DD2. And like you said, it is free! Again, the first few weeks are hard, but it is so much easier to not have to worry about formula and bottles when we go out.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

With DS#1 i was finishing up my degree and was not producing enough to pump ((bc he wouldnt latch)) and stopped fairly quickly bc it was too stressful.. i regretted it and well still do, so i tried with DD and was successful, hoping with #3 as well. For me, nursing is convenien, especially with other kids around, and i feel its worth a shot, if it works out great, if it doesnt, no big deal.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I haven't actually decided not to breastfeed... I want to try it but if it does work out I know I'll probably do it for only 2 months, because with going back to work, commuting, etc. I just can't see dragging the pump & all the parts & the milk with me every day & I can't imagine how I'd find a time or place at work to do it. I just think it would drive me crazy at that point. So even though I wouldn't mind doing it longer, I'll probably choose to stop after a couple of months. And I don't feel bad about it actually, I think formula is great for the baby & there are many advantages to it.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I just want to understand the cons soi can preparep

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

DH and I were having this conversation today. We were going over everything we still need and I said I definitely need a Boppy for BF and he said "formula it will be"! He totally don't think I will stick to it even though I did last time.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

For me it's just not something I've ever wanted to do. I had said that if my girls were born premature I'd pump but they werent small. I know the pros but It's just not for me. I also feel like in order to be successful at it you really have to WANT TO do it. It's hard and not having a desire to would make it harder.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

for me i never had the desire

i was not physically comfortable with my child on my boob

i also did not want to be the sole one feeding our children

i knew if i tried i would hate it and feel like a failure and the pressure etc and i spent too dam long trying to get pregnant not to enjoy my children

i and my husband have bonded with our twins just fine and they are perfectly healthy and happy and have been on formula since day 1

it is great if you bf and it is also great if you do not

if you want to try it go for it but dont do it bc u feel u have to or bc of the pressure

people were shocked when i said i was not planning to bf and now when they see my twins you would be surprised how many people ask if you are breastfeeding

the look of despair when i say no use to get to me but i am way too busy now to even care

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Posted by gina409

for me i never had the desire

i was not physically comfortable with my child on my boob

i also did not want to be the sole one feeding our children

i knew if i tried i would hate it and feel like a failure and the pressure etc and i spent too dam long trying to get pregnant not to enjoy my children

i and my husband have bonded with our twins just fine and they are perfectly healthy and happy and have been on formula since day 1

it is great if you bf and it is also great if you do not

if you want to try it go for it but dont do it bc u feel u have to or bc of the pressure

people were shocked when i said i was not planning to bf and now when they see my twins you would be surprised how many people ask if you are breastfeeding

the look of despair when i say no use to get to me but i am way too busy now to even care

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

Posted by Strawberry2468

Posted by gina409

for me i never had the desire

i was not physically comfortable with my child on my boob

i also did not want to be the sole one feeding our children

i knew if i tried i would hate it and feel like a failure and the pressure etc and i spent too dam long trying to get pregnant not to enjoy my children

i and my husband have bonded with our twins just fine and they are perfectly healthy and happy and have been on formula since day 1

it is great if you bf and it is also great if you do not

if you want to try it go for it but dont do it bc u feel u have to or bc of the pressure

people were shocked when i said i was not planning to bf and now when they see my twins you would be surprised how many people ask if you are breastfeeding

the look of despair when i say no use to get to me but i am way too busy now to even care

I have people ask and I say no. Then they say oh yeah idk how people ever BF twins. And I say they DO and successfully. Lol.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I don't think all are a holes,most are just curious but you do get the occasional lecture

And if you have never been stopped when with the twins and hot s speech on how to parent etc consider yourself lucky lol

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

For me I was on the fence when DS was born. He was born at 28 weeks and could not BF or take a bottle for quite a while. A nurse in the NICU convinced me to try pumping. I did but I had a very hard time with it. I had very low milk production, perhaps because of the stress if what was going on in my life. But I kept at it until DS came home. The 7 weeks that I pumped were pure hell. When it came time to try BF I had so much anxiety. I never knew if he was getting anything and the fact that I knew I produced little milk made it more stressful. I lasted for another 2 weeks after he came home. Then I stopped altogether. It was torture. Plus DH really was uncomfortable with it.

When we have our next one I may try. I may not. I'm going to see what happens. If its another premature birth I probably will not even try. I hated that I had to take the pump everywhere with me and that it was just always something that needed to be done. But like I had said I had a lot going on in addition to DS in the NICU.

If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I tried in the hospital, but it wasn't happening. She wasn't latching properly and it was very painful. She was crying and crying and I just knew she was hungry, so I gave her formula.

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I am currently 7 weeks into breastfeeding our Son. It was something I went into with a ton of anxiety about whther or not I would be able to do it and whether or not it would be for me. I have thought about giving up daily until about a week ago. The first 6 weeks (well maybe 5 weeks) were terrible for me---and a lot of women experience this but nobody talks about it because it DOES get so much easier and better that I think people forget. I will lay all of my reasons for wanting to quit out there for you.

My son was in the NICU so for the first few days I was up and in there every 2-3 hours since I am feeding on demand. After each nursing session--which took forever between him not wanting to stay awake and just being inefficient---I went back to the room and pumped for 15 minutes as per the recommendation of the nursing staff who were clueless. (I don't recommend this as I caused a HUGE oversupply issue.) I was absolutely exhausted.

When we got home, those first few days were rough. My son was cluster feeding so he would just nurse nonstop for hours--especially at night. I HATED being the only person who could feed Nate. Hated it. I was tired, and frustrated and although some women feel special being the sole provider of nutrition I felt annoyed. I could never tell if he was hungry or getting enough etc.

I was also told not to give him a bottle until at least 4 weeks of age to avoid "Nipple Confusion." F- That. I gave him a bottle at 2 weeks and he was just fine. It was either having my husband take a feeding or me throwing in the towel altogether.

As time went on, he spaced out his feedings a bit more and things were going well but I was still having a lot of pain on my left nipple. I had what is called a nipple bleb, a clogged duct and developed mastitis! I wanted to shoot myself. I had to keep pumping to clear out the infection and kept making crazy amounts of milk and then became engorged. AGAIN. I thought why the heck am I doing this? But for some reason I still couldnt just give up and kept going. I saw 2 lactation consultants (who were idiots) and then found a pediatrician in New Hyde Park to help. (If you do decide to nurse, please see Dr. Macaluso if you have any trouble!) Once I saw her and fixed our latch issues things immediately improved.

At this point things are going much better. I still feel frustrated that I can't always have someone else feed him. Although, now that he is older, I am not so against giving a bottle here and there. The con with that is that i still have to pump to signal to my body to not miss the feeding.

I am not comfortable nursing in public which also makes things a bit tougher but if you are, it really is pretty easy!

If you choose to breastfeed or not, it doesnt matter. Your child will be healthy, happy and loved. I will say this though, if you do decide to breastfeed, don't be afraid to ask for help and don't think for an INSTANT that it should be easy, not painful and natural. There was NOTHING easy, not painful or natural for me and my baby is growing and doing just fine! Feel free to message me if you have any questions and sorry for the manifesto of a response!

Re: If you decided NOT to breastfeed

I'm so glad to be reading the responses on here. I have been battling with this decision since the day I got pregnant.

For me, it was something I never wanted to do and could never picture myself doing. The thought of it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if it was because I can be kind of prudish when it comes to my body but I just can't seem to be ok with my baby sucking on my breast! I'm having major stress and anxiety over the decision and at almost 6m pregnant I still haven't decided. The only reason I haven't committed to formula is the guilt. Everyone asks if I'm going to BF (which is annoying on it's own, it's nobody's business but mine and DH) and when I say no the first question is Why? Which makes me feel like I am constantly defending/explaining my position. I know I put this pressure on myself though. Part of being a good mother is trusting your instincts for what is good for you and the baby and ignoring other people's opinions. Something I'm working very hard to do. I did a lot of research on both, looked into the Exclusive Pumping, which comes with it's own set of pros and cons. My husband has been supportive. He thought I would want to do it more for the "bonding" aspect but I just cannot believe that women who FF do not bond with their babies as strongly as women who BF. Of course I want to give my baby the best nutrionally but it just seems like I'm going to have much anxiety over it and the last thing I want is to spend the first few weeks of her life miserable and anxious everytime she needs to be fed.

Hearing everyone's responses has been a huge help. It's time for me to make up my mind and stop caring so much about how others (family, friends) view my decision.