Where are the

I look at DS (who is not even a month old) and think to myself that I now have everything I have ever wanted. I may feel differently down the road but I really think I could be one and done. My pregnancy was stressful in the beginning lots of tests and scares but once I hit 20 weeks it was smooth sailing... I may not be that lucky the second time around and knowing that I feel like our little family could be complete as it is right now I'm not sure I would want to do it all over again.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

I think I am 1 and done. I always wanted 2 or more. I imagined having lots of little ones. But, pregnancy and giving birth were emotionally draining and now I love my daughter so much, I can't imagine being away from her or changing our dynamic and financially if I want to be able to do everything I dream about now with her (travel to certain places, sign her up for certain activities, make sure she is well fed and all medical necessities are taken care of) I simply can't afford another child. If I was a millionaire, I might rethink it. But being lower middle class and the idea of what my body and mind would have to go through for round 2... I doubt we'll do it. Unfortunately everyone I know and run into loudly presume we will have more than 1 even when I mention maybe not... and everyone seems not supportive. I hate the fact that I feel like I don't have a choice or if I do, everyone is going to look down on me for it.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

I am probably one and done for various reasons. I actually liked being pregnant but I worried/worry alot. And I dont know if I can handle all that again. Plus I hate the newborn stage and the first 1.5 years. I mean, I loved watching my DD learn and grow but I felt very confined and isolated and I am just starting to get my freedom back after being a SAHM for 4 years. Not sure if I can go back again.... Just so on the fence but probably not going to have another.

Message edited 8/8/2013 10:56:32 PM.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

I struggle with this. I have the same feelings as you. I feel very full but, then I watch DS wander the backyard alone and I feel guilt.

However, he is almost 4.. would he even play with a sibling now?

I have medical issues. It took a lot to get PG and I didn't have the healthiest pregnancy.

I personallly, Refuse to do IF treatments again. It killed me and stressed out our marriage. DH wants another and wants to do IF. But, my body, my choice.. If it doesn't happen naturally, it doesn't. Not doing it.

SO I don't know. I hold a baby and don't feel any stirring or pangs.

Where are the

We go back and forth on it. DD is such a good baby and we are terrified about what number 2 would be like lol

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

For almost 4yrs I (we) were 100% sure we were done. I used to say NO WAY I'm having another baby. Not happening. We were so happy and content having one child and we both used to say we are done ... . But as DD git older we realized that we didn't want DD to be an only child and wanted to give her a sibling. It was a very difficult decision for us (I know it sounds a bit silly, but it really was for various reasons) but we went for it. I got pregnant but lost the baby, got pregnant again and we have a beautiful baby boy.
I don't even remember just having one kid, lol. Now I'm actually starting to think we might go for the 3rd one in a few yrs
Good luck with whatever you decide .

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

I am a one and done!

Where are the

I'm pregnant currently with my first and keep going back between 1 and done and wanting another. This pg has been a nightmare between the fertility treatments, the extreme HG, and now partial bedrest there has been not many fun moments. Also financially with daycare and both of us full time workers we aren't sure how we are going to swing 1. We are moving to NC in 5yrs so we will see what happens. Dh is definitly one and done and I'm in the fence.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

Posted by NervousNell

One and done here.
Have known that from day 1 of my pregnancy. The minute the stick said pregnant I said- well that will be the last time you see those words on a preg test!


IMO having another baby for the sole purpose of giving your child a sibling is a very bad reason to have another baby.
At this point i have no desire to have any more children and maybe I am selfish but I don't care if DD has a sibling or not. My feelings trump that.
She has cousins who she is SO close to they might as well be siblings.

Our life is complete.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

Yes, one & done! One beautiful, healthy, fun, loving & strong willed baby girl

I was always pretty sure I only wanted one but everyone kept telling me & I would want another one.
I also felt that I should keep an open mind because DH always wanted more & maybe it was meant to be.
After having DD, my open mind has shut
She is the greatest little thing but it's so much harder then I expected.

Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?

Thanks for all the replies! So many wonderful perspectives.

Truth be told I loved being pregnant I really did. The newborn stage was difficult though bc dh and I were married for 10 years before we had our DS...and we were really "set" in our ways so it was kind of a culture shock.
But once we got into a routine - it was much easier. Now DS is almost 3 and we are just having the time of our life with him. Is life perfect? No way. But it's ideal for US and our situation. We're happy & feel complete and we're truly grateful for what we have.