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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
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Where are the "one and done" mamas?
OK so where are my fellow “one and done” moms at? I’m pretty sure this is what DH and I will be. Although I’ll admit it wasn’t originally the plan and I recently really struggled with deciding whether being one and done was really for us. But as time goes on – I find that I really am so content with it being just the 3 of us. I love my little guy more than anything in this world so there is a little tinge of guilt that comes along with not giving him a sibling….and of course the guilt layed on us from other people doesn’t help. Anyone else think they will be one and done?
Message edited 3/18/2013 3:29:48 PM.
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Posted 3/18/13 10:07 AM  |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
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Where are the
Im one and done. I still get asked if we will have another. No plans. Had plans, had a mc, changed plans. We can live and do what we want freely, I love expensive bags. Id rather live the life we want than struggle and stress.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:12 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by JennZ
Id rather live the life we want than struggle and stress.
I hear that!! My dh was very gung ho about having another until we realized how much of a stuggle financially it could be for us with 2 (we both work full time) in daycare.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:17 AM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
I go back and forth with being "one and done." I thought I'd want like 2 more until I went back to work. It's been really difficult. Things are tough balancing work and I feel like such a strain between DH and I. I love my DD so much and love spending time with her but it's been difficult.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:28 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Where are the
I'm def. one and done. I have no desire for another child. And I have two step daughters, so that's enough for me.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:38 AM |
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starlitdragon
Me and my love
Member since 3/13 1301 total posts
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Where are the
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
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| Posted 3/18/13 10:48 AM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by starlitdragon
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
Girl I am so with you. I adore my dd more than anything in this world but I cannot imagine going through all of it again. I have ZERO desire to be pregnant and go through all of that while caring for a LO. A woman sacrifices so much more than a man for a child and I don't think I have anymore in me. I don't get anytime now to myself and I feel overwhelmed, I cant imagine 2. I give those women a lot of credit. I cant imagine a second one. And the strain it puts on a marriage. Mine is already strained I don't know that it can bear much more strain.
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| Posted 3/18/13 11:09 AM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by starlitdragon
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
Girl I am so with you. I adore my dd more than anything in this world but I cannot imagine going through all of it again. I have ZERO desire to be pregnant and go through all of that while caring for a LO. A woman sacrifices so much more than a man for a child and I don't think I have anymore in me. I don't get anytime now to myself and I feel overwhelmed, I cant imagine 2. I give those women a lot of credit. I cant imagine a second one. And the strain it puts on a marriage. Mine is already strained I don't know that it can bear much more strain.
My marriage was perfect. Now... not so much. Our marriage couldn't survive another child. You are not alone.
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| Posted 3/18/13 11:42 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Thanks for the replies everyone. 
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| Posted 3/18/13 3:16 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by Melmel821
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by starlitdragon
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
Girl I am so with you. I adore my dd more than anything in this world but I cannot imagine going through all of it again. I have ZERO desire to be pregnant and go through all of that while caring for a LO. A woman sacrifices so much more than a man for a child and I don't think I have anymore in me. I don't get anytime now to myself and I feel overwhelmed, I cant imagine 2. I give those women a lot of credit. I cant imagine a second one. And the strain it puts on a marriage. Mine is already strained I don't know that it can bear much more strain.
My marriage was perfect. Now... not so much. Our marriage couldn't survive another child. You are not alone.
How old is your baby? It's probably beause you and DH are still getting used to being parents. MANY MANY of us have experienced that. Once you settle into a routine and become accustomed to parenthood - it becomes easier and you really do start to enjoy it
Message edited 3/18/2013 3:22:15 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/13 3:20 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
One and done here too. Not by my choice though.. I am HAPPY to have my son... I almost didn't get him...
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| Posted 3/18/13 3:31 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by Daisy32
Posted by Melmel821
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by starlitdragon
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
Girl I am so with you. I adore my dd more than anything in this world but I cannot imagine going through all of it again. I have ZERO desire to be pregnant and go through all of that while caring for a LO. A woman sacrifices so much more than a man for a child and I don't think I have anymore in me. I don't get anytime now to myself and I feel overwhelmed, I cant imagine 2. I give those women a lot of credit. I cant imagine a second one. And the strain it puts on a marriage. Mine is already strained I don't know that it can bear much more strain.
My marriage was perfect. Now... not so much. Our marriage couldn't survive another child. You are not alone.
How old is your baby? It's probably beause you and DH are still getting used to being parents. MANY MANY of us have experienced that. Once you settle into a routine and become accustomed to parenthood - it becomes easier and you really do start to enjoy it
I'm not sure if this was geared to me but DD is 5months. Things were great when I went back to work. It's been really difficult to balance life while working and it doesn't help I work the nightshift. I love my DD and adore being her mommy. I just don't think I can handle another child.
ETA: I always told myself I may only want one. Everyone else tells me that DD will need a sibling and I need to think of her. I think that's so unfair. If someone only wants one child, there should be no guilt in that. Everyone can live the life they want and have as many children as they want without telling others what to do!
Message edited 3/18/2013 4:03:47 PM.
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| Posted 3/18/13 4:00 PM |
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wo0shply
LIF Adult
Member since 11/08 2702 total posts
Name:
Tass
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Where are the
DH and I are one and done. He said my pregnancy and birth of our DD was traumatic for him. I had a great pregnancy and I dont want to have a bad one so we're one and done. DD is great and I dont think I can do the newborn stage again.
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| Posted 3/18/13 4:30 PM |
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by Melmel821
Posted by Daisy32
Posted by Melmel821
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by starlitdragon
I constantly say that I'm "one and done", although my DH has a different idea. As of right now, as much as I love my DS, I couldn't imagine having a second one and dealing with the infant stage all over again. I'd probably be game if I could just pop out a child who is already three years old. Lol.
Girl I am so with you. I adore my dd more than anything in this world but I cannot imagine going through all of it again. I have ZERO desire to be pregnant and go through all of that while caring for a LO. A woman sacrifices so much more than a man for a child and I don't think I have anymore in me. I don't get anytime now to myself and I feel overwhelmed, I cant imagine 2. I give those women a lot of credit. I cant imagine a second one. And the strain it puts on a marriage. Mine is already strained I don't know that it can bear much more strain.
My marriage was perfect. Now... not so much. Our marriage couldn't survive another child. You are not alone.
How old is your baby? It's probably beause you and DH are still getting used to being parents. MANY MANY of us have experienced that. Once you settle into a routine and become accustomed to parenthood - it becomes easier and you really do start to enjoy it
I'm not sure if this was geared to me but DD is 5months. Things were great when I went back to work. It's been really difficult to balance life while working and it doesn't help I work the nightshift. I love my DD and adore being her mommy. I just don't think I can handle another child.
ETA: I always told myself I may only want one. Everyone else tells me that DD will need a sibling and I need to think of her. I think that's so unfair. If someone only wants one child, there should be no guilt in that. Everyone can live the life they want and have as many children as they want without telling others what to do!
I always got/get annoyed by people who feel the need to comment and tell you what you should do. Fortunately I'm past that, mostly.
We are one and done. My DD is 6 and I am 41 so I don't know if there's any going back now, and I'm ok with that. We are happy. I never got the urge to have a second child, though I have asked DD (in fact, I even asked her today  ) if she was happy as our only baby. She said yes, like she always has. If she was unhappy, I would have had another.
And she is never lonely. She goes to Daisies and dance class and art class. We are lucky to have made friends in the neighborhood. There are always little girls in my house, or DD is at one of their houses. And I love having kids in my house...and getting to send them home to their parents come dinnertime. 
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| Posted 3/18/13 4:56 PM |
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islandersgirl74
Love Being A Mommy!
Member since 6/06 5804 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
This is something I am just so unsure of. I love my DD so much that sometimes I do feel that like a previous poster said, I am so content and happy being a family of 3. But then, I think of how close I am and was to my sister I sometimes feel selfish about not giving her a brother or sister.
Ideally, if I was younger there would be no question about having at least 2. I would want them at least 2 years apart so I could enjoy the first. But now being almost 38 myseld, DH is almost 44 and DD is 6 weeks the timing seems off. There are more risk factors at our age and we had a small scare after our level 2 and I don't think I can go through that again. So, I am not sure what the future holds for us. In the mean time, I am enjoying every second of my DD in case she is our only one.
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| Posted 3/18/13 7:21 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Where are the
We are "possibly" one and done. I really love our little family of 3 and I just can't picture going back to the newborn stage with the lack of sleep and taking care of a toddler at the same time. My DH would be fine without having another. Some days I feel like I'll miss being pregnant ever again, but then other days my toddler is such a handful and I can't see myself doing it all over again.
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| Posted 3/18/13 8:08 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by Melmel821
ETA: I always told myself I may only want one. Everyone else tells me that DD will need a sibling and I need to think of her. I think that's so unfair. If someone only wants one child, there should be no guilt in that. Everyone can live the life they want and have as many children as they want without telling others what to do!
I hear ya...people just dont know when to mind their own business. Here's the thing- I know many people who are extremely close to their siblings (myself included) but I also know MANY people who have siblings and they're not close AT ALL....and it's not because of any sort of animosity or anything like that....they're just simply not close. And thats ok too. Know what I mean?
So as far as having more kids, you have to do what's right for you and your family...end of story. To hell with everyone else and their opinions 
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| Posted 3/19/13 9:41 AM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
As another poster said, some siblings aren't even close.
So these people who say they are having more so they can have siblings, there is no guarantee that they will get along.
I'm not having more for my child. My first wont have to raise them, I will. It's what works best for your situation.
With the extreme cost of living here and the expenses sky rocketing every year... Financial reasons for many people also play a huge role in the decision making.
For me, I am happy with my one son!
My son will make friends and be fine. Those who make comments about how we should have more for your child are just ignorant.
Message edited 3/19/2013 11:20:40 AM.
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| Posted 3/19/13 11:19 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
One and done here.
Have known that from day 1 of my pregnancy. The minute the stick said pregnant I said- well that will be the last time you see those words on a preg test!
IMO having another baby for the sole purpose of giving your child a sibling is a very bad reason to have another baby.
At this point i have no desire to have any more children and maybe I am selfish but I don't care if DD has a sibling or not. My feelings trump that.
She has cousins who she is SO close to they might as well be siblings.
Our life is complete.
Message edited 3/20/2013 10:47:11 AM.
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| Posted 3/20/13 10:46 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by NervousNell
Our life is complete.
4 simple words I couldn't agree more with 
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| Posted 3/20/13 12:16 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by NervousNell
One and done here.
Have known that from day 1 of my pregnancy. The minute the stick said pregnant I said- well that will be the last time you see those words on a preg test!
IMO having another baby for the sole purpose of giving your child a sibling is a very bad reason to have another baby.
At this point i have no desire to have any more children and maybe I am selfish but I don't care if DD has a sibling or not. My feelings trump that.
She has cousins who she is SO close to they might as well be siblings.
Our life is complete.
 Well said. You always know how to express yourself so well!
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| Posted 3/20/13 12:39 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by wo0shply
DH and I are one and done. He said my pregnancy and birth of our DD was traumatic for him. I had a great pregnancy and I dont want to have a bad one so we're one and done. DD is great and I dont think I can do the newborn stage again.
How was your pregnancy traumatic for him- especially if it was good?!
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| Posted 3/20/13 1:30 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by wo0shply
DH and I are one and done. He said my pregnancy and birth of our DD was traumatic for him. I had a great pregnancy and I dont want to have a bad one so we're one and done. DD is great and I dont think I can do the newborn stage again.
How was your pregnancy traumatic for him- especially if it was good?!
Can't speak for the OP's husband but I can say that I had a textbook pregnancy with very little issues other than minor things. And my birth was pretty quick and non eventful too. Yet I felt traumitized by the pregnancy and the delivery. I was always a worrier, have major medical anxiety to the point where I should probably seek counseling for it but haven't yet.
Being pregnant- even with no real issues- was a horrible experience for me. I never relaxed. I worried 24/7. I had feelings of doom a lot. I felt scared and trapped.
I hated having to go to the dr so much, have invasive tests ,I had nightmares for months and months about L&D.
And even when it was over and it really went smoothly, I still look back on it with a little post traumatic stress feeling. I get anxious thinking about having to do that again. DH says- but look, you got through it, and it wasn't all that bad. And I'm always like- yes but I still wouldn't want to go through it again.
So sometimes even without physical issues, there are psychological issues in play- and maybe that is why her DH feels that way about it (just based on MY experience that is- again I have no idea about her DH and his reasons)
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| Posted 3/20/13 1:40 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by wo0shply
DH and I are one and done. He said my pregnancy and birth of our DD was traumatic for him. I had a great pregnancy and I dont want to have a bad one so we're one and done. DD is great and I dont think I can do the newborn stage again.
How was your pregnancy traumatic for him- especially if it was good?!
Not "one and done" here...I'm "three and done"
But...I loved all three of my pregnancies; I'd probably be happy living the rest of my life pregnant but my DH wasn't a huge fan. He was a big worrier about the "what ifs" and always thought we might have been pressing our luck with the 2nd and 3rd. Yeah, I think he was a nervous wreck for much of it! Also, I don't think he found pregnancy as physically beautiful as I did. TMI, but our sex life suffered big-time during those 27 months--most of that my fault, but truth be told, a lot of it his issues as well.
So I think it can be troubling for the men too...
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| Posted 3/20/13 1:55 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Re: Where are the "one and done" mamas?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by wo0shply
DH and I are one and done. He said my pregnancy and birth of our DD was traumatic for him. I had a great pregnancy and I dont want to have a bad one so we're one and done. DD is great and I dont think I can do the newborn stage again.
How was your pregnancy traumatic for him- especially if it was good?!
Can't speak for the OP's husband but I can say that I had a textbook pregnancy with very little issues other than minor things. And my birth was pretty quick and non eventful too. Yet I felt traumitized by the pregnancy and the delivery. I was always a worrier, have major medical anxiety to the point where I should probably seek counseling for it but haven't yet.
Being pregnant- even with no real issues- was a horrible experience for me. I never relaxed. I worried 24/7. I had feelings of doom a lot. I felt scared and trapped.
I hated having to go to the dr so much, have invasive tests ,I had nightmares for months and months about L&D.
And even when it was over and it really went smoothly, I still look back on it with a little post traumatic stress feeling. I get anxious thinking about having to do that again. DH says- but look, you got through it, and it wasn't all that bad. And I'm always like- yes but I still wouldn't want to go through it again.
So sometimes even without physical issues, there are psychological issues in play- and maybe that is why her DH feels that way about it (just based on MY experience that is- again I have no idea about her DH and his reasons)
My birth wasn't perfect but I felt the same way during my pregnancy. I was horrible. I was the most evil person on earth (felt that way). I was just miserable, I was sad for the poor kid because I thought he could sense that I was like this and I begged to be a happy mom if I was a shit pregnant lady. I am a great mom I hope. I just never ever want to go through this again. I want my freedom back and slowly but surely I am getting it back with him getting older. I hated the newborn stage but was in loveeeee with him. I do feel bad that I don't want to give DS a sibling but it's not set in stone that he will even like them. My dad is one of 5 and they all HATE each other to the point of reality show antics. anyways, bottom line is, I asked DH if this was a make a break issue and he said no and I am holding him to it.
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| Posted 3/20/13 5:11 PM |
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