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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by Mrs213
It's nice of you to even gesture. People who declined my wedding did not give anything and I didn't expect them too. It's DH co-worker not family, I thinkits nice to just get something small off the registry. I would not do cash
ITA, and some people who did not come sent a $50 check and i thought that was even generous.
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Posted 6/27/12 8:55 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
akades
LIF Zygote
Member since 6/12 7 total posts
Name:
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how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Yea, if you're not going and they're not even close friends, I wouldn't bother. But if you must, then get a gift from the registry for close to $100 worth.
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| Posted 6/27/12 9:28 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
$200
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| Posted 6/27/12 9:46 AM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
I think you definitely should send a gift, and I personally would get something off the registry in the $100 range - it is so easy to find a registry now from search engines. IMO a coworker is not the same as a neighbor you have said hi to once.
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| Posted 6/27/12 9:57 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Considering the relationship you have with them, I would give $50 max, and only if you feel that you really need to give something.
The only people who sent my a gift that couldn't attend were closer family/friends.
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| Posted 6/27/12 10:06 AM |
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marianne13
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 887 total posts
Name:
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how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
$100 is pretty generous. I think $50 is fine especially since you aren't close with them.
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| Posted 6/27/12 10:19 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
zip zero zilch.
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| Posted 6/27/12 10:33 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
When not attending a wedding, we always send $100.
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| Posted 6/27/12 11:49 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
I always send $100 regardless of the relationship.
I was thought that it was the polite thing to do when RSVP'ing "no".
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| Posted 6/27/12 1:50 PM |
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dctead
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Member since 11/10 2139 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by tink23
Posted by WhatNow
I don't get it: you are NOT going but still planing on giving them a monetary gift even though they are not close friends and you haven't known them that long?
I would just politely decline and move on. Would never thought of actually giving them something.
Agreed. I would send something for a family member or friend, but not for DH's co-worker.
I agree... I'd do the same!
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| Posted 6/27/12 2:02 PM |
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racheK
Hudson's Momma
Member since 10/10 2853 total posts
Name:
Rachel
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by missfabulous
Maybe something small off the registry or a gift card to BBB.
I'd agree with this. If I'm not close, I'd probably just get them a present so they know I thought of them and just because its a nice gesture but no real $$ (and I'd say I'm a pretty generous gift giver)
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| Posted 6/27/12 2:02 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
I would find a registry - you can easily check the most popular ones in a few minutes.. Macy's or Bloomingdales, Bed Bath and Beyond or Target. I wouldn't spend more than $50.
I think in this case, you don't have to send anything at all.
I know Emily Post says to always send a gift, but frankly, I can't afford to do that for every single invitation I decline.
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| Posted 6/27/12 2:24 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
I'd go for a registry gift sent to their house. Or $100. I would NOT spend more than that on a co-worker's wedding that I'm not attending.
ETA: Only 2 out of 5 co-workers attended my wedding. The other 3 who declined gave no gift. I thought nothing of it and we had already worked together closely for 5 years when I got married. So I agree that it's okay not to get them anything.
Message edited 6/27/2012 3:12:50 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:11 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
My co-workers who couldn't attend gave things ranging from $30-50 range registry gifts to $100 checks. I actually got $100 from an employee I didn't invite (He would have been first on the list had I invited employees though).
I honestly WOULD send a gift. Look for a registry, I'm sure they have one and send a gift in the $50-100 range.
ETA: For me the amount of the gift would depend on whether it was a wedding I really would have liked to attend and couldn't vs a wedding I was sort of indifferent about and didn't mind not going to.
Message edited 6/27/2012 3:24:34 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:19 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
i would give $100.
Just so you know, most people who could not come to my wedding... didn't send anything. And if they did, it was a $50 gift card or a $50 check. But MOST did not do this. So don't think you have to or should. 
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:39 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
i am shocked at how many people say to give nothing...i would DEFINITELY send a gift - i think that is appropriate for anyone (friend, family, coworker). $200 is very generous, i would think $100 is enough.
Message edited 6/27/2012 4:16:23 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:41 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
We didn't receive gifts from people that didn't attend our wedding, so I say $0.
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:43 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
I can't not even fathom the idea of NOT giving a gift -
If your DH was invited to the wedding, I feel like there has to be SOME kind of relationship there .......I would personally give $100 - $150.
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| Posted 6/27/12 3:48 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by shadows
Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I have no idea where they registered (nothing was sent with the invite and i'm not aware of a wedding website or anything...) so it will need to be cash, or else a non-registry gift.
Any suggestions for a non-registry gift? Maybe i'm better off doing that than cash...
Go to weddingchannel.com and for registry put in their name and see what comes up. if they are registered at one of the sites affiliated (Macy's, bbb etc) it will give you the link to it)
Hth
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| Posted 6/27/12 5:03 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
If i cant attend I usually send $100 ( this is for a not so close friend or distant relative). I've never not gone to a wedding of someone close to us, but I would prob give a bit more.
In your situation I think $100 is a nice gift.
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| Posted 6/27/12 5:05 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by jams92
i am shocked at how many people say to give nothing..
Why is that?
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| Posted 6/27/12 5:22 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
People who declined our wedding sent us a small gift (not money). If you want to send something I would go with something on their registry - or a nice picture frame from some place like Bloomingdales, Macy's, BB&B or if you need something nice from Tiffany's. But since you seem like it isn't someone you care for I would go for a token gift (like a picture frame). You can see if they have a registry by checking I think it is wedding channel.com. If they registered at any of the usual places they should be listed there. I think $50-100 depending on how political you have to be (since it is a coworker).
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| Posted 6/27/12 5:35 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by WhatNow
I don't get it: you are NOT going but still planing on giving them a monetary gift even though they are not close friends and you haven't known them that long?
I would just politely decline and move on. Would never thought of actually giving them something.
It is generally considered proper ettiquette to give a gift for weddings even if you do not attend.
However, if you fell that you were jsut a "seat filler' or pity invite, then I wouldn't gift, but usually I do if I can't attend. You still want to celebrate the life of event of this friend.
Emily Post says to
Message edited 6/27/2012 6:19:36 PM.
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| Posted 6/27/12 6:17 PM |
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LiveandLearn
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1588 total posts
Name:
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
Posted by MarisaK
I can't not even fathom the idea of NOT giving a gift -
If your DH was invited to the wedding, I feel like there has to be SOME kind of relationship there .......I would personally give $100 - $150.
This! If you find their registry I think a gift in this range is good too.
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| Posted 6/27/12 6:29 PM |
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Re: how much would you give... (wedding we can't make)
When DHs coworker got married we bought something off the registry. They weren't friends outside of work and the entire dept was invited.
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| Posted 6/27/12 9:25 PM |
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