Your relationship with DH since having children...

Just an honest poll............


If your relationship is the same/better share what keeps you guys connected!
What you do to keep it going.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

posted about this a week or so ago...Feel so stuck in a routine that revolves around the baby. Have been making an effort to try to get closer. Its tough.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Honestly..I think it's about the same. There have been some adjustments and we've weathered them pretty well.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

other

not really better or worse, but differernt. i look at him differently the daddy of my son but sometimes i want to KILL him

we are working on communicating better when it comes to DS and what I need from him, as far as helping me etc. I am learning not to "expect" but to explain and be patient with him

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Posted by mamakap

other

not really better or worse, but differernt. i look at him differently the daddy of my son but sometimes i want to KILL him

[/QU


Same here. Our relation ship is definitely different, but not in bad way. We have much less time to ourselves or alone together, so we appreciate those moments even more. We still have fights, but usually they don't have much to do with the kids.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

it gets worse with every child, but then it gets better than before. We have a 4 month old and I am feeling very disconnected again, but I know it will get better. I always say, marriage and kids don't mix

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

We've always had a great relationship, but now I think DH really appreciates everything I do for him and DS while being a FTWM, so he has even more respect for me than he did before. I still make dinner everynight and we eat together every night, yes DS whines or cries, sometimes but we put him in the bouncy chair next to us and we have a 'family' dinner. I love my DH so much and even after almost 8 years I miss him when I am not around him!

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

I didn't know which option to vote for...

When we had DD... we were awesome. We dove into the parenting role together. We were always on the same page. We made a great team.

DS is 5 weeks old now, DD is 14 months, and it's been pretty difficult adjusting to having 2 kids that are so close in age. We're still working great together and DH is a HUGE help and very hands-on, but I definitely find that we're fighting a bit more about silly things. I would never label us as being in a "bad" place, but we're certainly not in a place that I would want to remain in. I know things will get better once DS is a little older and sleeping better.

Lack of sleep brings out the worst in people...lol

Message edited 8/4/2010 12:50:25 PM.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

even better!

We hardly fight anymore. We get annoyed with each other/on each others nerves, but we hardly ever argue.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Better.
Before Lily, we were together because we got along well and enjoyed each others' company. We had a great relationship and were really happy.
Now, after Lily, we have a purpose and it keeps our relationship strong. We appreciate each other more, and work together better. We do have more little disagreements since Lily came.....but we also have a lot more going on.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

It took a hit but it is almost where it once was and I think will get even better.

We were always very fun and easy to laugh/joke around.

We were okay after 1 child, but that second child really does a number on you and we (mostly me) started to get short and less patient with each other-there was no good place to vent to I threw a lot of it at him and saved my best for the kids/family/friends/etc.

We (mostly me) are working through it, making time for us, doing the fun things we always did in the past and just enjoying each other's company and starting to have fun again. Putting each other first.

It's working so I know it will be better than it once was since I hope it will be all that it was plus the kiddos

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Our relationship has always been good, but I think we've grown even closer since Kieran came into our lives. When we got married 2 years ago, I didn't feel a huge change in our relationship. We still felt like a couple. Since Kieran there is this huge unspoken "family" feel. It's hard to explain, but there's like this bonded "unit" feeling that I don't remember feeling before. We share every story of everything that happens with Kieran when the other isn't around. We are sad together when he is sad and we rejoice together with every teeny tiny little accomplishment and new milestone he reaches. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's true. Having this little miracle in our lives, and knowing we helped create him and together, we will help him grow into a PERSON is so overwhelming. There is so much love that comes out of our sweet little boy and we have so much love for him that it's made the love between us even stronger!

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

I picked about the same but that is not completely true. It is very different in many ways. We are different, our lives are different and we have much less free time. We are also closer, more of a team and watching DH with our DDs makes me love him so much deeper. We get frustrated, bicker over silly things but I think that is natural as we grow and change. If our relationship always remained the same with or without kids, I think I would be both bored and concerned. It would mean that neither of us were growing or changing. We just try to make the best of everything life gives us and do it together.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

I can honestly say that having kids has made our marriage stronger and our relationship more meaningful. I have fallen more and more in love with him with each kid.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

It is hard to say. In a way, I can't really compare. It has made our commitment and desire to work through things rock solid. We are super committed to each other and our family. At the same time, it has led to some nasty nasty fights and brought certain issues to a head. We had two babies back to back, and the younger one is only 6 months. I firmly believe that in a year from now, I could answer better than ever.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

I would have to say our relationship has not changed. He has always been a great husband and now he is just an amazing dad too!

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Posted by laura33

Posted by BethanyLynn

posted about this a week or so ago...Feel so stuck in a routine that revolves around the baby. Have been making an effort to try to get closer. Its tough.

Feel the same way!!!! I feel like its all about Lara now I dont feel very sexy anymore either since I cant rid of some of this baby weight

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

About the same only we go to sleep earlier and go out less

We get along great and we're a really good team. Both very supportive of each other and help each other out.

Would I like to have more date nights? Yes! Some days are more hectic than others. We try and make "us" time and we're both good about going out with friends or once in a while him going out for a drink with a friend or vice versa. Can't complain.

Hopefully when we move we'll do more stuff together when we can

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Posted by BethanyLynn

Posted by laura33

Posted by BethanyLynn

posted about this a week or so ago...Feel so stuck in a routine that revolves around the baby. Have been making an effort to try to get closer. Its tough.

Feel the same way!!!! I feel like its all about Lara now I dont feel very sexy anymore either since I cant rid of some of this baby weight

Me too! We have a great relationship and he is an awesome dad but the romance/spark is sort of gone. Like a PP said..I feel disconnected from him. Its work, come home, feed baby, play with baby, bathe baby, put baby to bed and then we are both exhausted! Its really hard

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

About the same, which is fine because I had no complaints then and have none now. We make it a priority to have time for ourselves. Every summer we go away for a long weekend and my parents babysit so that we can do dinner/movies from time to time. During the summer (we both teach) we send DD to daycare a couple days a week so that we can do lunch dates, etc. Also, having her out of the house makes chores and the many house projects less stressful.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Well...I love him more and value him more. I understand how hard he works, how much patience he has and how dedicated he is to being a good dad and partner.

BUT, our communication has been tested. We are learning to work together and talk to each other in a different (and better) way. But the carefree days of spur of the moment dinners, trips, and wine nights are long gone! And we really enjoyed those days!

We are trying to reinvent ourselves - for lack of a better word - into an even better team. And we are trying to remember to take time to work on us as a couple, not just us as Lily's mom and dad.

Re: Your relationship with DH since having children...

Honestly, it suucks. We're working on it constantly but it's been a struggle especially since finding out we're expecting #2. It was fine for a long time once DS was out of his newborn stage, even great actually, then sometime into DS's toddler stage it's just started to decline. Hopefully we figure it out soon.