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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
I only have one family group that stays with us...my husband's cousin, wife, and four kids...I only do it because our kids are incredibly close and they live across the country. We do the same when we go to them. It's always tight, but I suck it up so that our kids can have time together. Anyone else, I don't offer. Even my brother and I stay in hotels when we visit each other. We are both private people and we like our space. I would introduce the hotel idea. It sounds like you would all be more comfortable. .
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Posted 9/18/18 5:42 PM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by CAH127
Posted by alli3131
My parents stay with me 4 weeks a year. 2 summer and 2 at Christmas. I have a 3 bed one bath house. I would never make them stay at a hotel. Big I did I would not see them as much. They are in their 70s and I figure I don’t have that much time left with them. My DH & I move to a bedroom upstairs when they are here so they are next to the bathroom.
I figure I won't see them as much as they will want to go back to hotel early. I also struggle with their ages and time. Maybe I should talk to DH and tell him how I feel so bad for him and getting his rest and see what he says, although he will say don't worry about it no matter what. While I have a good close relationship with them and always have, we have had a few disagreements while they were staying here. A mixture of me not getting much sleep so probably didn't have much patience and being on top of each other.
Maybe you a DH should check into the hotel!
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| Posted 9/18/18 6:35 PM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by CAH127
Posted by alli3131
My parents stay with me 4 weeks a year. 2 summer and 2 at Christmas. I have a 3 bed one bath house. I would never make them stay at a hotel. Big I did I would not see them as much. They are in their 70s and I figure I don’t have that much time left with them. My DH & I move to a bedroom upstairs when they are here so they are next to the bathroom.
I figure I won't see them as much as they will want to go back to hotel early. I also struggle with their ages and time. Maybe I should talk to DH and tell him how I feel so bad for him and getting his rest and see what he says, although he will say don't worry about it no matter what. While I have a good close relationship with them and always have, we have had a few disagreements while they were staying here. A mixture of me not getting much sleep so probably didn't have much patience and being on top of each other.
Maybe you a DH should check into the hotel!
LOL
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| Posted 9/18/18 6:46 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
We live OOS and I can’t imagine telling my family to get a hotel when visiting us. I hate my in laws, and not that they have ever asked, but I’d suck it up if they wanted to spend a couple days with us.
The inconvenience of a few sleepless nights seems silly in the grand scheme of things. But having lost my dad when I was 29, makes me appreciate my family a lot more, not sure I would have responded the same way a few years ago.
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| Posted 9/18/18 7:04 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by CAH127
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by CAH127
Posted by alli3131
My parents stay with me 4 weeks a year. 2 summer and 2 at Christmas. I have a 3 bed one bath house. I would never make them stay at a hotel. Big I did I would not see them as much. They are in their 70s and I figure I don’t have that much time left with them. My DH & I move to a bedroom upstairs when they are here so they are next to the bathroom.
I figure I won't see them as much as they will want to go back to hotel early. I also struggle with their ages and time. Maybe I should talk to DH and tell him how I feel so bad for him and getting his rest and see what he says, although he will say don't worry about it no matter what. While I have a good close relationship with them and always have, we have had a few disagreements while they were staying here. A mixture of me not getting much sleep so probably didn't have much patience and being on top of each other.
Maybe you a DH should check into the hotel!
LOL
I know this was said as a joke (sort of). My grandfather used to stay at a hotel when the extended family came to visit for thanksgiving. Partly to free up room but I’m sure it was partly because he wanted to get away.
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| Posted 9/18/18 7:37 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Having family out of state stay with you
I'm really unsure why everyone keeps telling OP that they would never make family stay in a hotel. Her mother told her she is uncomfortable in her house due to the size and layout. Should she buy a second, bigger house for her parents to stay in when they visit? Or maybe she can gut the place and add an extension before they get here.
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| Posted 9/18/18 8:17 PM |
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schmora15
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 2476 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
My mom comes and stays 3 weeks at a time generally 2 times a year. Sometimes my brothers and their families will come at the same time for a long weekend to a week. I have a small house, 3 bedrooms with 2 bathrooms. I love when they come and stay. It takes me awhile to plan it out but it always works out.
Sometimes we give up our room with the bathroom to whoever has a time change or young little ones. Can it be stressful? Yes! IMO it’s worth it. It’s temporary and kids love it!!
My husband has a crazy schedule too. He just goes with the flow. I think he realizes he doesn’t have a choice lol!
Maybe rent an RV for the driveway? I wouldn’t want my parents far from me.
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| Posted 9/18/18 8:34 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Having family out of state stay with you
I think you should talk to your mom and ask her what’s she wants. Since she mentioned that she’s uncomfortable in your house, tell her you won’t get offended if they stay in a hotel.
Would I let my parents stay in a hotel while visiting me? No, but his isn’t my decision to make!
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| Posted 9/18/18 8:56 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by LuckyStar
I'm really unsure why everyone keeps telling OP that they would never make family stay in a hotel. Her mother told her she is uncomfortable in her house due to the size and layout. Should she buy a second, bigger house for her parents to stay in when they visit? Or maybe she can gut the place and add an extension before they get here.
Exactly.
Maybe her mom doesn't want to stay in a cramped, uncomfy situation.
I wouldn't.
It doesn't make you any less "family" if you're sleeping at the Radisson.
Message edited 9/18/2018 9:03:52 PM.
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| Posted 9/18/18 9:02 PM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Having family out of state stay with you
I hate having people stay over and I hate staying at other people's houses. I avoid it at all costs and I am not shy about not wanting pple to stay over unless it is absolutely necessary, even my own mother. We have a tiny house and no guest bedroom. As long as pple r financially capable I don't see the big deal about someone visiting and staying at a hotel.. It's so much more enjoyable for everyone and you can still spend plenty happy, well rested hours together.
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| Posted 9/18/18 9:47 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Having family out of state stay with you
You should not feel guilty about needing to sleep. You and your dh cant function properly and safely on no sleep. Your parents should want the best for you and should try harder not to wake you so early. Why do they 'need'to be making noise in the kitchen at 5 am!? Cant they have a snack in their bedroom and hang out quietly reading or watching TV until a decent hour? I get they cant help using the bathroom during the night. Have you tried a white noise machine or white noise app on your phone? Or, as another poster suggested, try giving them your room so they're close to the bathroom.
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| Posted 9/19/18 6:05 AM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I'm really unsure why everyone keeps telling OP that they would never make family stay in a hotel. Her mother told her she is uncomfortable in her house due to the size and layout. Should she buy a second, bigger house for her parents to stay in when they visit? Or maybe she can gut the place and add an extension before they get here.
Exactly.
Maybe her mom doesn't want to stay in a cramped, uncomfy situation.
I wouldn't.
It doesn't make you any less "family" if you're sleeping at the Radisson.
Agreed.
We used to have a house with enough bedrooms for plenty of people to stay. We got tired of such a large house (because it’s just the two of us, no kids- not now or ever), of the neighborhood, of our neighbors and of family members crashing at our place for weeks - in one case, two months - at a time.
We bought a one bedroom apartment. There are two nice hotels within walking distance. If people have a problem with that option, they can find someone else to freeload off of because there isn’t room for them in our new place. And we didn’t buy a new place for other people’s comfort - it’s for our own.
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| Posted 9/19/18 8:13 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by LuckyStar
I'm really unsure why everyone keeps telling OP that they would never make family stay in a hotel. Her mother told her she is uncomfortable in her house due to the size and layout. Should she buy a second, bigger house for her parents to stay in when they visit? Or maybe she can gut the place and add an extension before they get here.
Exactly.
Maybe her mom doesn't want to stay in a cramped, uncomfy situation.
I wouldn't.
It doesn't make you any less "family" if you're sleeping at the Radisson.
Yes if they’re both uncomfortable with the situation, there’s your answer!!
I’d rather have a visit with a few less hours—but happy vs. more hours where everyone is uncomfortable and grumpy.
I think a visit is much nicer when you’re sad to see somebody go, over celebrating that they’re finally gone!
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| Posted 9/19/18 8:47 AM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
xxx
Message edited 9/19/2018 10:41:07 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/18 9:39 AM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
Posted by CAH127
Thanks for the responses. As of right now my DH is still sleeping as he is working nights. I started thinking about it more and more. I just called my Mom. I asked her if she felt more comfortable in hotel. She said yes. She also mentioned the bed situation at my house, only a double bed. My mom was great and said she feels more comfortable in a hotel as they get up very early and several times at night. I told her I feel responsible if my DH does not get his sleep if they are up early and she said she totally understands. She also said they like to go to bed early. I asked if she could perhaps stay in bedroom a little later in the morning so she is not getting up early and she said she is fine with hotel. She just thought I would have felt bad not spending as much time with them, but we will see each other just as much I think. They have a place close by they like staying at. I am going to give them my points and they can use their's to help with bill. I perhaps may just give them the money for the rest. They come back to my house after their Montauk trip one day, Saturday and they will stay with me that night before flying home Sunday. When I tell DH I know he is going to say why did you do that or why are they in hotel? Honestly, as I am writing this I am still so torn. I told my mom I feel like an awful daughter and she told me not to ever feel like that. Well,, thanks for all the posts.
Try not to feel bad about this!!
This is the best thing for everyone. You will all be so much more relaxed and actually ENJOY the time you do have together.
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| Posted 9/19/18 10:43 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
I see it as two options:
1) If they stay with you, then you'll have 12 hours together every day, but you'll all be absolutely miserable for all 12 hours, since nobody is comfortable, and nobody is sleeping.
2) If they stay at a hotel, you'll have 10 hours together every day, but you'll all be well rested and happy.
Sure, you'll lose roughly 2 hours of time each day, for driving to and from the hotel, etc, but the time you have together will be SOOO much more enjoyable for everyone.
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| Posted 9/19/18 10:56 AM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
xxx
Message edited 9/19/2018 10:41:29 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/18 11:32 AM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Having family out of state stay with you
I would ask your mom if she would be more comfortable staying in a hotel.
I also would never tell my parents that they couldn't stay with me. I'd find a way to make it work and suck it up for the few days.
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| Posted 9/19/18 11:37 AM |
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Michi
My Love
Member since 5/05 31600 total posts
Name:
M
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Having family out of state stay with you
Sounds like your mom wants to stay in a hotel, I dont understand the guilt at all. Id also choose the hotel option lol
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| Posted 9/19/18 11:50 AM |
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