xxxxx

Thanks for the responses.

Message edited 4/12/2019 7:36:26 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:37:56 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

In your situation, there is no good reason to have them stay with you. Everyone feels uncomfortable and unhappy when they do. It's taking away from your time together. If they can afford a hotel, everyone involved will actually enjoy the visit, instead of feeling stressed out and exhausted by the end. That's the last thing you want to feel after seeing your parents.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

+1


How's this. DH and I live in a 1 bedroom apt one bathroom. A few years ago a cousin asked if he and his 2 kids could stay over during summer vacation, for "a few days". I agreed, dh was like ok they stayed a few days and it was chaos, so when he asked the following year, i said "one night". Chaos again. DH was like
Last year when he asked I said no. not feasable, not set up for it. come for the day, hang out, that's all. he said ok.

He asks AGAIN this year. I said no. Again.

I don't feel any guilt. Our space does not accomodate. Period.

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:38:23 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:38:48 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by CAH127

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

+1


How's this. DH and I live in a 1 bedroom apt one bathroom. A few years ago a cousin asked if he and his 2 kids could stay over during summer vacation, for "a few days". I agreed, dh was like ok they stayed a few days and it was chaos, so when he asked the following year, i said "one night". Chaos again. DH was like
Last year when he asked I said no. not feasable, not set up for it. come for the day, hang out, that's all. he said ok.

He asks AGAIN this year. I said no. Again.

I don't feel any guilt. Our space does not accomodate. Period.

Oh wow, that must have been hard having them!

See, that's why I have the guilt. I have a very small three bedroom house. One bedroom is my office for work, the other is our's and since our's is so small, all of my belongings and makeup, etc is in the other small bedroom with a double bed. So I have it. What makes it the most difficult is my parents getting up so early 5:00, 6:00 and the bathroom door a few times at night waking us up. I also feel it is not fair for my husband to be woken when he has to work a night shift and sleep late. Last time they were here, he slept in the basement so he could sleep but my dad was pacing in the kitchen above the basement and it sounds like a herd of elephants when you are down there. He couldn't sleep.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by CAH127

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

+1


How's this. DH and I live in a 1 bedroom apt one bathroom. A few years ago a cousin asked if he and his 2 kids could stay over during summer vacation, for "a few days". I agreed, dh was like ok they stayed a few days and it was chaos, so when he asked the following year, i said "one night". Chaos again. DH was like
Last year when he asked I said no. not feasable, not set up for it. come for the day, hang out, that's all. he said ok.

He asks AGAIN this year. I said no. Again.

I don't feel any guilt. Our space does not accomodate. Period.

Oh wow, that must have been hard having them!

See, that's why I have the guilt. I have a very small three bedroom house. One bedroom is my office for work, the other is our's and since our's is so small, all of my belongings and makeup, etc is in the other small bedroom with a double bed. So I have it. What makes it the most difficult is my parents getting up so early 5:00, 6:00 and the bathroom door a few times at night waking us up. I also feel it is not fair for my husband to be woken when he has to work a night shift and sleep late. Last time they were here, he slept in the basement so he could sleep but my dad was pacing in the kitchen above the basement and it sounds like a herd of elephants when you are down there. He couldn't sleep.

you really aren't set up for it.

sounds like a lovely cozy house tho!!!

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Hotel for sleeping, and they can stay with you at your house during the day, eat their meals with you.

I don't feel comfortable sleeping in other people's houses, I'd rather sleep in a hotel.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Posted by NervousNell

This right here:

" she told me she feels very uncomfortable in my home and I told her I am sorry for the size and set up of my house. I spoke to her again yesterday and she was saying she has to tippy toe in the morning in my house and it is very stressful. "


So they should 100% get a hotel.
I mentioned this on another thread but I have no idea why people would WANT to stay with family if they have a small house.
It's uncomfortable and inconvenient for EVERYONE.
The guests included.
I'd want my own bathroom to blow up as I see fit , my own space to walk around naked, not to have to "tip toe" around in the morning, etc


As long as they can afford a hotel there is no reason to be staying in someone's small house.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

I'm going to be the one who disagrees. They are your parents - if they are visiting and want to see you they should not have to stay in a hotel. I am OOS and my parents in NY and I don't have an issue with them staying and neither does DH (not to say he always loves it). They stay for 3-4 weeks at a time and we wish they'd stay longer for our kids' sakes. It's not only about space - I have ample room for them and their room is on a separate floor from all of ours, and even so of course there are times it's uncomfortable and we have to change our routines. But these are my parents and in all of my years of growing up they sacrificed for me and so the least I can do in whatever time we have left together is be a little uncomfortable so they can stay with us.

Would I want someone other than my parents (or DH's mom who I can't stand) staying in my house for more than a week or so, no way. But for my parents I'll have my routine changed and I'll be a little uncomfortable and so will DH.

If the noise is an issue then get a sound machine to help block the noise. Get more than 1.

I have your issue but reversed - my parents' house is small and when we stay there my kids and I have to all share the same room and we all share the 1 bathroom. My youngest wakes up at 6 and I have to keep him relatively quiet so he doesn't wake everyone. Staying in their home can be uncomfortable bc we are used to our space but the times my parents and kids and I spend all together are priceless. My parents get to see my little ones off to sleep and after the day is done I get to sit and chat with my parents and those are some of the moments that make it worth it. I would not ask my parents to stay at a hotel.

Having family out of state stay with you

If they are uncomfortable and you are uncomfortable I don’t see why this is even a question. They should stay in a hotel.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:39:27 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/18/2018 12:19:29 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

I think, family or not, you need to do what is most comfortable for YOU. I'm the type who not only doesn't like staying in other people's homes but I don't want anyone staying with me.

With young kids especially, it would be a disruption to our routines and their bedtimes. PLUS, at the end of the day (especially DH who has a demanding job) we just want to relax and not "entertain" for days on end. ALL that aside, our house is not set-up for house guests AT ALL. The layout, the rooms, etc................it just wouldn't work.

I don't function or feel comfortable with people running all over my house, even family. I like my privacy and quiet. If I had a different type of house and layout I might reconsider but with the home we currently have, house guests would be a HUGE PITA. It really wouldn't work.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Do they not want to stay in a hotel? I would think they would want to since they are uncomfortable too.

I don't have parents but I would suck it up if my mom wanted to stay at my house and refused to stay at a hotel.

I feel like anytime you are Hosting it can pose some level of stress and exhaustion.

Message edited 9/18/2018 2:24:20 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Having guests is like fish in your fridge. After 3 days, it has to go

Seriously, I think a hotel is better in most situations. If it's crowded, stressful and generally too much there is no question. Besides, I feel like it's more fun to have guests for a few hours, where you really enjoy the company, than have them linger for days.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/18/2018 1:51:18 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:39:58 PM.

Having family out of state stay with you

My parents stay with me 4 weeks a year. 2 summer and 2 at Christmas. I have a 3 bed one bath house. I would never make them stay at a hotel. Big I did I would not see them as much. They are in their 70s and I figure I don’t have that much time left with them. My DH & I move to a bedroom upstairs when they are here so they are next to the bathroom.

Having family out of state stay with you

I feel like I in the minority here but I say if your parents want to stay with you- suck it up for a few days. They will not always be around and sometimes if you have the right attitude about it (collective "YOU") some of the best memories come out of the times we are in close quarters.

Maybe just ask your parents if they want to stay at a hotel-- were they happier last time when they stayed at a hotel? Maybe your mom is fishing for an invitation from you to pay for the hotel and thats why she is saying she feels stress at your house? Clearly its not out of the questoin to stay at a hotel for them bc thats what happened last time- but maybe they just dont want to or cant afford to spend the money on it this time and want you to? Whcih you shouldnt have to but the alternative i would think is opening your house to them rather than expect them to pay.

Message edited 9/18/2018 4:57:42 PM.

Re: Having family out of state stay with you

Message edited 9/19/2018 10:40:21 PM.