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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Now DH is saying we should consider that I don't go at all (at least this is what he told his brother).
Background, his brother is getting married in Key West next spring (he lives in FL). DH is best man. DH's sister and her DH are also in the wedding party - I'm the only one who is not.
DH's sister and BIL willing be coming from the UK, with their 2 kids (same age as my kids).
She (SIL) is OK with the hotel babysitter. DH & I are not comfortable at all with it.
DH spoke to his brother last night who said the kids are invited to the rehearsal dinner, and church but he'd prefer they don't come to the actual wedding. He's concerned my ILs will be chasing around our kids instead of enjoying the wedding (not true, I will be chasing my kids, but they may be doing it as well b/c they enjoy the kids, not b/c I would need the help, or expect it.)
So, we'd be arriving Key West (flying to Miami of Ft Lauderdale Thursday and driving the 4-5 hrs to Key West with an 18-month old and 3-yr old). DH would then do a fishing trip (the bachelor party) most of the day Friday. Rehearsal dinner is Friday night (kids invited), wedding is Saturday night (kids only invited to church). We'd leave Sunday to come home.
Honestly, I was very much looking forward to this wedding/trip. Who doesn't want an excuse to go to Key West for a long weekend? And, I obviously would like to be at my BIL's wedding, and be there for DH - hear his toast, etc.
But, it's obviously not a cheap trip with airfare, hotel, DH hosting bachelor party, and a generous gift.
WWYD? Would you just stay home with the kids and have DH go on his own (if he did this, he'd probably just shack up on the pull out couch in his parent's room so he's not dropping $$ on 3 nights in a hotel on his own).
Or find a way to make the trip work?
We can't leave the kids behind. My mom is the only one I'd concerned caring for them and she's a teacher so she can't just take off to babysit my kids (plus, she has a 6-yr so that'd be a lot for her).
I considered taking my 16-yr old cousin along to help me and watch the kids during the wedding, but again, she has school.
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Posted 8/5/10 11:28 AM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Honestly, I would be a little annoyed that DH thought I should stay home. I understand the circumstances and why the suggestion was made, but it is a family wedding and you are his family too. I would probably talk to the parents of the 16 year old and see if they would be ok with her missing the Friday from school. Yes the trip will cost a bit more, but I think you should be at the wedding. And since you're not comfortable with a hotel babysitter, then this seems like the best alternative.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:32 AM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Is there anyway you guys can go check in on the kids in shifts? Or, Would you consider going on the trip but not going to the wedding so you can stay with the boys?
I understand them not wanting kids there, but you are family and they are already inconveniencing you guys enough by having a destination wedding, at least they could have the kids come. And yours are very well behaved!!  So annoying!!
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:35 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I would be VERY annoyed that everyone goes to Key West, has a great time and my DH thinks I should stay home with the 2 kids. Like REALLY REALLY annoyed!!!!!!
I say bring a family member with you and go enjoy yourself in Key West.
How far is the hotel from the reception/wedding?
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:36 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I would go!!! screw that. there is more to do with your kids out there than go to the wedding.
I wouldn't mind missing the wedding much, but I WOULD mind missing the trip.
and honestly, how your IL's choose to spend their time at the wedding is THEIR choice. sometimes TBH, weddings get boring and it's nice to have something to do.  I hung out with the little ones at my OWN wedding though, so I may be biased 
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:36 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by nferrandi
Honestly, I would be a little annoyed that DH thought I should stay home. I understand the circumstances and why the suggestion was made, but it is a family wedding and you are his family too. I would probably talk to the parents of the 16 year old and see if they would be ok with her missing the Friday from school. Yes the trip will cost a bit more, but I think you should be at the wedding. And since you're not comfortable with a hotel babysitter, then this seems like the best alternative.
Oh, DH doesn't want me to have to stay home, but knows it might make more sense since he'll be fishing Friday, and occupied with BM duties Saturday.
It would be 2 days she'd have to miss school since we have to travel down Thursday.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:36 AM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Oh, DH doesn't want me to have to stay home, but knows it might make more sense since he'll be fishing Friday, and occupied with BM duties Saturday.
It would be 2 days she'd have to miss school since we have to travel down Thursday.
I would definitely go then and think of it as a little vacay with you and the boys. Your SIL can go screw!
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:37 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Tine73
Posted by SweetCaroline
Oh, DH doesn't want me to have to stay home, but knows it might make more sense since he'll be fishing Friday, and occupied with BM duties Saturday.
It would be 2 days she'd have to miss school since we have to travel down Thursday.
I would definitely go then and think of it as a little vacay with you and the boys. Your SIL can go screw!
I would go too. You might miss the wedding if you cannot find arrangements but it would a mini vacation with the kids. Beach, pool, etc...
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:40 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Ophelia
I would go!!! screw that. there is more to do with your kids out there than go to the wedding.
I wouldn't mind missing the wedding much, but I WOULD mind missing the trip.
and honestly, how your IL's choose to spend their time at the wedding is THEIR choice. sometimes TBH, weddings get boring and it's nice to have something to do. I hung out with the little ones at my OWN wedding though, so I may be biased
Here's the thing, DH pretty much told his brother that these are his nephews (he has a tiny family and it's our kids, and his sisters) and that he should rest assured they'll be taken care of and that we would expect them to fall asleep in stroller when they've had enough, or I'd be willing to end the night and go back to the hotel with them. BIL is concerned that they want to keep the wedding small (only 40 guests) and his friends may expect to bring their kids. DH said it's one thing to tell friends that their kids are invited to a destination wedding (and I honestly would assume a lot of them won't be able to make it) but we're family and we should ALL be there. I told DH not to push this too much. While I agree, and I had a ton of kids at my wedding since I have a big family, and to me kids make everything better, not everyone feels that way. It is their wedding.
But we went from being a little hurt that I was the only one left out of their very small bridal party, to now, "you can bring your kids but not the wedding"  
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:40 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by smdl
I would be VERY annoyed that everyone goes to Key West, has a great time and my DH thinks I should stay home with the 2 kids. Like REALLY REALLY annoyed!!!!!!
I say bring a family member with you and go enjoy yourself in Key West.
ITA.
It is your SIL's perogative to not have kids at her wedding - and I wouldn't miss her wedding because of it.
Either bring a family member or play it be ear. Expect to possibly miss the reception, meet the hotel babysitter. It's a few hours & you may actually like the babysitter enough to have her sit with the kids.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:40 AM |
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DML
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 567 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I would go, go to all the festivities and just miss the reception.... Or I would see if i couldn't meet the babysitter on Friday to see if I would want to go that route. But either way, go and enjoy the rest of the trip.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:41 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I chose other because if you really don't have someone to watch the kids for the reception, then go on the trip, and do other things with the kids. Go hang out at the beach! Then take kids to the church and skip the reception. That way you all get family time in and a nice weekend away.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:42 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Tine73
Is there anyway you guys can go check in on the kids in shifts? Or, Would you consider going on the trip but not going to the wedding so you can stay with the boys?
I understand them not wanting kids there, but you are family and they are already inconveniencing you guys enough by having a destination wedding, at least they could have the kids come. And yours are very well behaved!! So annoying!!
That's the issue. The wedding not at the hotel we are staying at so no, we can't just take the elevator up and ck on the kids every half hour or whatever (which solidifies my decision that we are not even considering the hotel babysitters).
I am leaning toward just skipping the wedding (or maybe bringing the boys to the cocktail hr and calling it a night when necessary). I WANT TO GO TOO !
His BIL said if necessary, they'll "make an exception" for our kids, but it's not their preference to have them there
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:43 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
can you go to FLorida, but NOT go to the actual wedding unless they allow the kids to go? selfish of them not to include your children esp because there is a chance you won't be able to go at all.
if the above can't happen I would ask to take the 16 yr old out of school, she would probablylove to go with youguys!
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:44 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Go to Florida, go the wedding and bring the kids, if you think they aren't being occupied or having a good time you can just go back to the hotel.
I think BIL needs to realize you are traveling a long way for his wedding and these are the things they have to deal with when having a destination wedding.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:47 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I just don't get it.
I can see not wanting random kids that you don't know there. but your nieces/nephews!!
I INSISTED they were there. they were in my bridal party. I couldn't imagine having such a big day for us without them integral to it.
that makes me sad. 
they can shove their stuffy adult wedding. but go to the cocktail hour for the free food and champagne!!!!
oh, but something else, can you and your SIL share the babysitter? for whatever reason, having the kids all together would make me feel slightly better and it's the ONLY way I would do it.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:47 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Can I add this, the hotel gave my future SIL a list of names and TF numbers of babysitters. One of them - CINDERELLA?? It's not Orlando - is she some porn star?? W T FFF??- that helped solidified our decision that we're not doing the babysitter.
Message edited 8/5/2010 11:51:05 AM.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:47 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
I did not have any kids invited to my wedding either, and was very strict about it.
What I did was set up a room upstairs from the wedding and had a babysitter up there for the kids. Is there a separate area where maybe you can have the babysitter come and keep the kids?
ETS: Guess I was selfish and stuffy. But I had a great time 
Message edited 8/5/2010 11:49:17 AM.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:47 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by katiebug
ETS: Guess I was selfish and stuffy. But I had a great time
sorry, it was a tongue in cheek comment directed at these particular persons, not a broad stroke comment to all that don't allow kids.
I only allowed my immediate family kids myself.
I did not mean to offend. 
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:51 AM |
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trish71407
LIF Adult
Member since 11/06 1206 total posts
Name:
Trish
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by SweetCaroline
Can I add this, the hotel gave my future SIL a list of names and TF numbers of babysitters. One of them - CINDERELLA?? It's not Orlando - is she some porn star?? W T FFF??- that helped solidified our decision that we're not doing the babysitter.
EEEKKK!
I would see if you can bring the 16 year old. I went to many weddings with a family that I babysat for. I think this would be the best alternative. It is only 2 days to miss from school.
If not, then I would go to the cocktail hour with kids and then leave. Make sure to say real loud that "We have to go now, Aunt/Uncle so and so dont want you guys here! I kid!
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:55 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by katiebug
ETS: Guess I was selfish and stuffy. But I had a great time
sorry, it was a tongue in cheek comment directed at these particular persons, not a broad stroke comment to all that don't allow kids.
I only allowed my immediate family kids myself.
I did not mean to offend.
No worries Jess. I was really not offended. I was more giggling at the comments.
I also can understand where the SIL and BIL are coming from. I had a lot of people mad at me over the no kids rule, but we both have huge families and friends that are as close as family. If we did not make that rule, we could not have afforded the wedding, as we were paying for it ourselves. It really sucked having people so upset with us over our wedding.
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| Posted 8/5/10 11:56 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by katiebug
I also can understand where the SIL and BIL are coming from. I had a lot of people mad at me over the no kids rule, but we both have huge families and friends that are as close as family. If we did not make that rule, we could not have afforded the wedding, as we were paying for it ourselves. It really sucked having people so upset with us over our wedding.
Well, that's the thing. Both families are tiny. On DH's side (and they're all very close) it's his parents, him, sister, her DH & 2 kids, and BIL and his future wife.
There will be only 40 guests total at the wedding and I honestly think, if FSIL's sisters had children already, they would be coming.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:00 PM |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Tine73
Is there anyway you guys can go check in on the kids in shifts? Or, Would you consider going on the trip but not going to the wedding so you can stay with the boys?
I understand them not wanting kids there, but you are family and they are already inconveniencing you guys enough by having a destination wedding, at least they could have the kids come. And yours are very well behaved!! So annoying!!
ITA...I would go and miss the weddding, Let them feel like cr*p
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:02 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Well we missed my cousin's wedding in TX over memorial day weekend - we had just gotten home from WDW a few days earlier and we just couldn't do it. The only children invited were the bride's (my cousin) niece and nephew - her brother's children - they were IN the wedding but not invited to the reception. There were several people who did go - they brought Nanny's and my cousin used my aunt's housekeeper who used to watch my cousin when he was little - to watch his children during the reception. My aunt and cousin completely understood b.c she didn't want use using just a hotel babysitter. Unfortunately my parents are our only babysitters (esp for overnights) so I couldn't leave the girls here.
I would consider either one of these two options - sending DH alone or if the trip means a lot to you - can you go with the children and NOT attend the wedding - this way you get away with the family but don't have to worry about a babysitter. The only other option is where is the hotel in comparison to the wedding? Is the wedding at the hotel or short distance away - could maybe you and a few other parents (relatives) offer to trade off - where each of you watch the children for 1 hour then switch so everyone attends but you aren't using strangers?
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:02 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - SPR spinoff to my hotel babysitter post recently...
Posted by Lillykat
could maybe you and a few other parents (relatives) offer to trade off - where each of you watch the children for 1 hour then switch so everyone attends but you aren't using strangers?
See, I'd be the group babysitter then.
The only people on "our" side is DH's parents (parents of the groom), us and DH's sister & her DH. Obviously, I wouldn't ask his parents to miss a second of the wedding to help watch our kids, or sister (they're both in the wedding party). Plus, she's OK with the hotel babysitter.
I just called DH and told him I'm going to Key West - if I have to miss the wedding, or a good chunk of it, I will, but the kids and I are going.
I guess I could maybe hire one of the babysitters to help me Friday and see if I'm comfortable with them for the wedding - this could be an option.
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| Posted 8/5/10 12:05 PM |
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