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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
No, I don't think it's weird. DH is a SAHD and often has to bring DD to playdates and birthday parties without me. He also knows the other moms better than I do. We went on a playdate to the beach yesterday as a family. Sometimes it's good to have an extra set of hands especially when there are more than 1 DC involved. If the playdate was to maybe someones house I wouldn't bring him, but if I am bringing both kids and it's a public place, I feel better having him there too. I would also be ok if other Dads come to playdates as well.
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Posted 7/6/13 11:10 AM  |
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JB1122
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/08 418 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
My DH has two daughters from a previous marriage and he has them in his custody most of the time. He has basically been both their Mom and Dad for years. He has literally shown up to pick them up from playdates where there are 4 Moms of other kids sitting down having appletinis. They have always invited him in and no one has acted weird about it. Maybe people have said things behind his back - but if he ever found out about that it would definitely hurt. He loves his girls and is willing to do whatever he needs to do to a) spend time with them and b) let them have normal social lives with their friends. That being the case, I can absolutely appreciate any husband/father who wants to participate in his children's social lives and I would openly welcome the father of a friend of my DD or stepdaughters into our house if they wanted to come over. My answer wouldn't change just because the wife/mother is in the picture too.
Also, I work with several women whose husbands are stay at home Dads. Those Dads are the only ones available for weekday playdates and from what I understand the Moms in the community have welcomed them with open arms. This isn't the 1950s anymore.
Message edited 7/6/2013 11:29:03 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:27 AM |
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SJSM
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/09 764 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I asked my husband about this topic- his point of view is no big deal if its at Gymboree, a birthday/family/holiday party, a class for the child.
BUT HE finds it very weird that a guy would want to hang out with a bunch of womanon a play date
his words- no f******_____ way!
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| Posted 7/6/13 12:29 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by SJSM
I asked my husband about this topic- his point of view is no big deal if its at Gymboree, a birthday/family/holiday party, a class for the child.
BUT HE finds it very weird that a guy would want to hang out with a bunch of womanon a play date
his words- no f******_____ way!
Exactly how my DH feels.
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| Posted 7/6/13 12:52 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by SJSM
I asked my husband about this topic- his point of view is no big deal if its at Gymboree, a birthday/family/holiday party, a class for the child.
BUT HE finds it very weird that a guy would want to hang out with a bunch of womanon a play date
his words- no f******_____ way!
Exactly how my DH feels.
Mine too. He loves to spend time with our boys, but could think of a million things he'd rather do than hang with a bunch of women and their kids. If it was a family get together he'd happily attend, but he'd rather scratch his eyes out than be subject to hours of "girl talk."
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| Posted 7/6/13 1:07 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by PatsBrat
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by SJSM
I asked my husband about this topic- his point of view is no big deal if its at Gymboree, a birthday/family/holiday party, a class for the child.
BUT HE finds it very weird that a guy would want to hang out with a bunch of womanon a play date
his words- no f******_____ way!
Exactly how my DH feels.
Mine too. He loves to spend time with our boys, but could think of a million things he'd rather do than hang with a bunch of women and their kids. If it was a family get together he'd happily attend, but he'd rather scratch his eyes out than be subject to hours of "girl talk."
Funny I feel the same way as your DH about "girl talk" 
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| Posted 7/6/13 3:20 PM |
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sunshine28
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 501 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I think it's very odd. My DH is very actively involved in our children's lives. He attends school activities, extracurricular activities, parties, etc. However if a bunch of moms are getting together with the kids I think it's strange that she'd want him there and that he'd be comfortable being there- esp if it's at someone's house. Play dates are often opportunities for mommies to get together and enjoy each others company. We have "family play dates" too but I think that's completely different. I hope that she at least asks if the other mommies mind if he comes.
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| Posted 7/6/13 3:55 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
If my Dh was home for the day and I had a playdate with a bunch of mom's at the beach he would 100% go. What is weird about that. He enjoys spending time with his family. I actually love that he loves seeing us so much.
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| Posted 7/6/13 5:57 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by Anxious3
Just because your DH would never do it - as you've been quick to point out and reiterate - doesn't make it odd that this DH would.
My DH comes on playdates when he's able. His work schedule is as such that he can do it during the week. I like spending the extra time with him and he enjoys hanging out with other parents. I have hung out with other dads during play dates too.
I have no idea what's odd about this scenario.
So, you go on playdates, with women your DH probably never met or doesn't know well, and bring your DH with you? Like, a kid from school. You make arrangements to meet at a park or whatever with the mom. And then DH comes along?
YES!!!!
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| Posted 7/6/13 6:01 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
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| Posted 7/6/13 6:08 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
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| Posted 7/6/13 6:37 PM |
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rugratmama
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/12 432 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
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| Posted 7/6/13 6:49 PM |
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
I think it is good to have "girl time" too as I have it with my gf's. My dh is friends with all my friends though and we do things together all the time. Even when the kids were younger we would BOTH got to bday parties. That is how it works with us.
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:00 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
No I am not saying that at all. Every couple has it's own groove. You guys do more independent things.. that doesn't mean you are dysfunctional. Just as it doesn't mean that hanging out together a lot means you are co-dependent.
ETA: I do have my girl time. But, I also don't bat an eyelash at taking my husband along.. even if he is the only husband. He gets along great with all of my girlfriends. Maybe because he moved here from down South and met me right away. Most of the guys/girls he knows are through me. Whatever. I just took offense to the comment that couples that hang out a lot have something WRONG with them. That isn't the case at all. Just as there is NOTHING wrong with hanging out apart. Every couple is different. Are there co-dependent couples sure that hang out a lot.. sure.. There are also very bad relationships where people spend a lot of time apart. Generalizing that ALL people who hang out apart or spend a lot of time together are somehow weird/dysfunctional is very offensive and that was how I interpreted the statement you made " A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though. "
Message edited 7/6/2013 7:13:19 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:07 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
I think it is good to have "girl time" too as I have it with my gf's. My dh is friends with all my friends though and we do things together all the time. Even when the kids were younger we would BOTH got to bday parties. That is how it works with us.
same here..we always hang out together..and we also have our girl/guy time
we r not co dependent..it is actually possible
that we like spending time together
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:12 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
No I am not saying that at all. Every couple has it's own groove. You guys do more independent things.. that doesn't mean you are dysfunctional. Just as it doesn't mean that hanging out together a lot means you are co-dependent.
ETA: I do have my girl time. But, I also don't bat an eyelash at taking my husband along.. even if he is the only husband. He gets along great with all of my girlfriends. Maybe because he moved here from down South and met me right away. Most of the guys/girls he knows are through me. Whatever. I just took offense to the comment that couples that hang out a lot have something WRONG with them. That isn't the case at all. Just as there is NOTHING wrong with hanging out apart. Every couple is different. Are there co-dependent couples sure that hang out a lot.. sure.. There are also very bad relationships where people spend a lot of time apart. Generalizing that ALL people who hang out apart or spend a lot of time together are somehow weird/dysfunctional is very offensive and that was how I interpreted the statement you made " A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though. "
You are getting way too defensive. If you aren't co-dependent, then who cares? Many people are, and won't do ANYTHING without out their significant other. If that's not you, great!
I don't see a mommy playdate as a place to bring a spouse when no one else is, but I digress. 
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:18 PM |
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
No I am not saying that at all. Every couple has it's own groove. You guys do more independent things.. that doesn't mean you are dysfunctional. Just as it doesn't mean that hanging out together a lot means you are co-dependent.
ETA: I do have my girl time. But, I also don't bat an eyelash at taking my husband along.. even if he is the only husband. He gets along great with all of my girlfriends. Maybe because he moved here from down South and met me right away. Most of the guys/girls he knows are through me. Whatever. I just took offense to the comment that couples that hang out a lot have something WRONG with them. That isn't the case at all. Just as there is NOTHING wrong with hanging out apart. Every couple is different. Are there co-dependent couples sure that hang out a lot.. sure.. There are also very bad relationships where people spend a lot of time apart. Generalizing that ALL people who hang out apart or spend a lot of time together are somehow weird/dysfunctional is very offensive and that was how I interpreted the statement you made " A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though. "
You said it perfectly. My dh has ALWAYS gotten along with my gf's and has had his OWN friends. I actually find it WEIRD when I got to a bday party and the dh is not there and he is NOT working. Why wouldn't he want to spend time with his kids?
I actually read this thread to my dh and he said these are the couples who get divorced after the kids get older and leave (the dh's who stay home all the time and let have their dw's go all the time with the kids).
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:30 PM |
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by gina409
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by rugratmama
Posted by sfp0701
Posted by BargainMama
We have had many many playdates throughout the years, living in more than one area, and not one time has a husband came along with his wife for a playdate. Never. Now a single dad has brought his child to birthday parties. Different situation though.
I have never thought of a playdate as a family affair in where both parents come. A BBQ type thing where families have been invited, yes. Or family day in the park. A playdate with a bunch of moms hanging out to socialize while their kids play, no, never saw a husband there. Some couples are very co-dependent though.
I don't think it's fair to call a couple that hangs out together a lot co-dependent.
I think it's a little mean-spirited. Some couples really enjoy hanging out with each other and do it often.
So are you saying that couples who are able to separate for a few hours don't like to hang out? I mean, I live with DH, I see him all the time. Sometimes it's good to have girl time, even if it's with the kids.
I think it is good to have "girl time" too as I have it with my gf's. My dh is friends with all my friends though and we do things together all the time. Even when the kids were younger we would BOTH got to bday parties. That is how it works with us.
same here..we always hang out together..and we also have our girl/guy time
we r not co dependent..it is actually possible
that we like spending time together
Yep, my dh is out RIGHT NOW-lol at a GUY friends house and was in and out at a neighbors house who I was at all day. He gets along with EVERYONE, men and women.
I would actually feel like he didn't care if he didn't want to spend his free time (no, not ALL of it) with his kids and myself.
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| Posted 7/6/13 7:32 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I haven't been in this situation yet, but unless it's expressly stated that it's a girls' day, I don't think it's weird for a DH to go on a playdate. Our only family time together is really on the weekends, so we do as much as possible as a group of 3. DH would rather be spending time with DD then pretty much anything else.
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| Posted 7/6/13 8:21 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I honestly think it depends on the DH. My DH would have no interest at all in going to a playdate with other moms. If there are other DH's going, then it would be different and he'd be more into going. But I wouldn't even think to invite him if it's just moms. My DH works rotating schedules and some days he is home when I have playdates with DD. He uses his "alone" time to go to the gym, work on things around the house, etc... And then we catch up again after the playdate is over. No big deal.
I do think it is a little weird that that DH attends all the time, especially since you said he doesn't really talk to the other moms.
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| Posted 7/6/13 8:51 PM |
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My2Girlz11
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 785 total posts
Name:
Corrie
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Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I don't find it weird but it isn't the norm. I actually think it is great that the guy doesn't see this as an opportunity for free time.
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| Posted 7/6/13 9:08 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I don't think it is weird that a dad wants to watch his kids play with other kids.
I think it really depends on the guy. If the guy was cool and all the moms got along with the dad, it would be totally fine. If the guy is weird, I would probably just think he is weird and not want to be around him. I know that my DH would never want to attend a playdate with all moms.
Message edited 7/6/2013 9:15:17 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/13 9:14 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
I'm not reading through all of these responses but here's my take.
It depends on the play date and the location. My mommy group (hi mamas!) is comprised of SAHM's and FTWM's. When the SAHM's are getting together during the week at someone's house, I would never suggest sending my DH with DD. These functions are not ONLY about the kids, it's a chance for the mama's to get together and ***** about husbands, talk about the latest diets, compare boobies (kidding) or whatever. Girl time. We are all good friends, in addition to mamas. And I am half sad saying this, because my DH is off a lot more than I am and I'd love for her to hang out with her little friends more. But it's not the appropriate setting. And he wouldn't feel comfortable in that type of setting anyway. If everyone was meeting up at a library class or le play or something, then yeah, I think it's fine and normal.
However, we do have weekend playdates from time to time where most people bring their DH's (and unfortunately for me, most of those days DH is working ).
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| Posted 7/6/13 10:27 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
(haven't read the full 4 pages) but I think its odd that we should expect only moms at anything in this day and age. My hubby goes everywhere with AJ. Can't imagine WHY he wouldn't come.
What does he CARE how many women are there. As far as he's concerned there's only one girl in the room worth going anywhere for .. and its my daughter.
He's not a type class type fellow (which is why i love him) he wouldn't bat an eye if I wanted to go hang out with the guys and play D&D and he has been to so many women's association things with me that he's a pro!
When it comes to our daughter (as much as humanly possible) we do EVERYTHING as a team. So far we've never split a party or event yet. Hope not to, in any foreseeable future. If the moms in question have an issue with it, I'd hope they'd SAY something *TO* me and not behind my back. But if I felt the 'vibe' I'm sure we would TRY to 'fit in' but I doubt it would work. After all, AJ *IS* Daddy's little girl. Its all about 'where' daddy?"
As a side note, everything we do here has Dads. Each and every time. So its really never been an issue here.
Could be because we have so my much military around here and medical. Lots of Dads (and moms) not willing to give up their time with their kiddos. Even had a dad fly in for a party for his son's friend from school because it meant that much to his son. Hubby and I chit chatted with him about Florida (where he was stations) and when his son (AJ's buddy) was going to have to move to FL soon. *shrug*
Message edited 7/6/2013 10:53:26 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/13 10:51 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you think this is weird? Playdate and DH related.
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't think it's weird that a dad wants to be with his kids, and watch them play with other kids. I go to all of DC's playdates, I've been to just about all of the parties they've been invited to, and most of the Gymboree classes. I think it's nice that he wants to be involved.
totally agree...wish more dads would be around for these types of things. My DH is usually working when we have play dates...but if i went to the park, beach or somewhere else especially if it isn't someones private home when DH wasn't working he'd probably want to go too. We BOTH enjoy seeing how our child interacts with others
if it was at someone's home, I would just ask or give the heads up that DH wished to attend as well and find out if he would be the only one so i could let him know and decide if he still wanted to be the only dad there...but i don't think play dates should be looked at as a "moms only" event.
Message edited 7/6/2013 11:47:02 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/13 11:41 PM |
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