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Jenny614
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 1065 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Another problem is that 13 year old girls are having sex and experimenting sexually today in a way that 13 year old girls didnt even think about 10-20 years ago. So wearing short shorts means something totally different today then it used to. I know moms who have taken their 13 year old to get birth control. Their mind frame is "hey, I cant stop her from having sex so Im going to do the right thing, and help her to be safe."Like, I get that, I really do. But I will have control over my 13 year old daughter and I will make sure she is not having sex!! I dont know, my mom put the fear of God in me, lol, it worked
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Posted 2/14/13 2:44 PM  |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Worried about the future for my girls...
It starts early. My aunt is a sub at an elementary. I saw the girls all 'dressed up' for some thing or another and they were all in mini skirts, hair done up way high and sandals that no kid could/would be comfy in. I asked "isnt it cold in your school?" she said yes but these mothers say their girls look 'goood' and they dress the same.
To be fair it is the other side of town from me but still!
Hubby never liked me putting AJ in short skirts as an infant. Said no one should see her diaper unless they are changing it! LOL
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| Posted 2/14/13 2:47 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
I agree with you. I have 2 girls as well and it SCARES the shit out of me to think of how much worse it will get 
I can only hope that I guide them correctly and they learn to respect themselves.
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| Posted 2/14/13 2:53 PM |
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
now i'm terrified and my DD is only 6 months old!!
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| Posted 2/14/13 3:18 PM |
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NewMrsG
Love my GiGi
Member since 12/11 1442 total posts
Name:
Mrs. G
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Worried about the future for my girls...
Oh man! i teach MS and HS too....and seeing some of the behavior of these young girls is scary. It def makes me worry about when my DD gets bigger. I hope this skanky trend fades as well....and I would NOT be buying her these clothes.
The unfortunate thing is that when it comes to buying clothes for these young girls that is what is mostly in stores to buy. And it is hard to find appropriate clothes.
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| Posted 2/14/13 3:33 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
For all the moms of little girls..
All I can say is set a good example now. Make sure they walk out of the house in decent clothing and more importantly just make sure that they always know to respect themselves and their bodies. A mother who allows her very young daughter to wear 6" heels is not doing a good job in my opinion.
And it doesn't matter if you have a girl or a boy. Parents say their fearful of their young girls dressing provocatively or getting into trouble but we have to remember our sons are at fault too for things that go on! Someone recently said to me "Oh wow 3 boys..no worries about a daughter getting pregnant" and I thought "who the hell do they think are the ones GETTING these young girls pregnant??". (different topic but sort of related!!). We ALL have to do our jobs and create respectful kids.
I have two younger sisters (22 and 23 years old) and when they were 14 the girls were wearing some really skimpy things and heavy on the makeup etc...but my mom made sure to raise us right and now allow it at such a young age. All turned out great!
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| Posted 2/14/13 3:48 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
And to add...I honestly do NOT see the trend reversing, I see it getting worse. Between shows on TV, social media etc...the trend is "sexy" and it gets younger and younger each year unfortunately. I would pray it would reverse, but for some reason I don't see it happening.
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| Posted 2/14/13 3:50 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
This is one of the many reasons why I would not be opposed to uniforms in public schools.
Put the attention back where it belongs!
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| Posted 2/14/13 4:04 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Worried about the future for my girls...
Don't these kids have parents???? Someone is buying these clothes for them!!!!
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| Posted 2/14/13 4:05 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Worried about the future for my girls...
You cant change society and the value they put on beauty and perfect bodies and so on. What you can change or shape is your daughters view of herself. Her self esteem and the value she puts on herself.
So every single lil girl came in to class statingthey want to be hookers? Ddis you ask what their aspirations were? Not 1 girl came dressed apprpriately? What were the guidelines for this? Were they made clear? And you say every boy came in a suit and tie? Not one came in as a police officer? Firefighter? Astronaut?
Maybe thr problem is these kids are not allowed to express themselves creatively...
I know girls are dressing much differently now but I find it hard to believe in an entire class not one student was creative.
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| Posted 2/14/13 4:38 PM |
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Jenny614
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 1065 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by BlessedMomma
You cant change society and the value they put on beauty and perfect bodies and so on. What you can change or shape is your daughters view of herself. Her self esteem and the value she puts on herself.
So every single lil girl came in to class statingthey want to be hookers? Ddis you ask what their aspirations were? Not 1 girl came dressed apprpriately? What were the guidelines for this? Were they made clear? And you say every boy came in a suit and tie? Not one came in as a police officer? Firefighter? Astronaut?
Maybe thr problem is these kids are not allowed to express themselves creatively...
I know girls are dressing much differently now but I find it hard to believe in an entire class not one student was creative.
Im the School Psychologist, so I have been watching students walk past my office all day. You make a good point, no one was creative. Not every girl was dressed inappropriately though. There were some who wore apporpriate clothing and shoes. But many, and Im sure they were the "cool" girls, wore the "skanky" clothes.
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| Posted 2/14/13 4:59 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Worried about the future for my girls...
Thats just sad to me then...:-/
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| Posted 2/14/13 5:36 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by Jenny614
Im trying to understand the mind of the mother who allows her daughter to walk out of the house like this. They :
a) Still view their 13 year old like a baby and think its cute that she is playing dress up?
b) Know that this is the "trend" and would never want to interfere with their daughters chance to be cool and popular. They hated high school and would not want their kids to go through the same thing?
c) The mom has no clue and the girl is changing her outfit when she gets to school?
I will add a D from a family member:
d) trying to live vicariously through DD. Seems like she wants to "flaunt" her beautiful daughter. Dresses too sexy/inappropriately herself and is not the best judge in these matters.
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| Posted 2/14/13 5:48 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by Bridex100
I used to wear super short shorts and skirts throughout my teens and twenties. Then I started working and wore professional clothes. I still wore the short skirts and shorts when I was not working.
Then I became a mom.
I did this and think it is fine but I think middle school is too young. 15, 16 and up I recall all of my friends and I wearing short skirts and the like on the weekends so I can't sit here and say society is going down the tubes if anything it has BEEN down the tubes   but HS age, not MS.
Also my parents DID monitor what I wore and sometimes my friends and I saved our own money went to Rainbow and secretly bought clothes our parents wouldn't allow...again in HS not MS, I was not up to that in MS.
eta: I work in a public MS in NYC and my Principal has me (Guidance Counselor) give students two choices when they dress inappropriately --change into your gym clothes or call your parents to bring a change of clothes. Either way the parent gets a phone and I explain appropriate dress in MS....many parents feel my Principal is uptight 
Message edited 2/14/2013 6:41:19 PM.
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| Posted 2/14/13 6:34 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
I've seen it at the school chorus concerts The parents are buying these clothes. Don't buy your kids these clothes, and they won't wear them.
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| Posted 2/14/13 8:36 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by NewMrsG
And it is hard to find appropriate clothes.
No it's not. There was a huge thread about this in the past. Many stores sell appropriate clothing for children and teens. MANY stores.
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| Posted 2/14/13 8:38 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
I also think that school should not accept clothing that is truly inappropriate. i know it's public school but enforcing a dress code should be mandatory these days. i would be happy to have my kids in a school with a dress code. it cuts down on these types of issues since the kids can't dress that way. i am all for uniforms too but that's just me!
i know the uniform isn't an answer to everything (and stifles individuality) but i can say that my nieces (15 and 17) have to wear uniforms and I truly think it keeps that competitiveness that appears when kids can wear whatever they please.
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| Posted 2/14/13 8:46 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Worried about the future for my girls...
It scares the ever loving crap out of me. God help me as a Mom to a DD the stuff these girls are wearing, doing, learning at such an early age is totally unacceptable
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| Posted 2/14/13 9:43 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Jenny614
Im trying to understand the mind of the mother who allows her daughter to walk out of the house like this. They :
a) Still view their 13 year old like a baby and think its cute that she is playing dress up?
b) Know that this is the "trend" and would never want to interfere with their daughters chance to be cool and popular. They hated high school and would not want their kids to go through the same thing?
c) The mom has no clue and the girl is changing her outfit when she gets to school?
I know from talking to my SIL about it that she is all about option B above.
I feel like she is trying to live vicariously through her daughter.
Always saying how POPULAR she is etc
How all the kids are wearing it.
How you have to be "in"
Half the issues in these cases are with the PARENTS
So does she think it's cool to have sex at that age? Possibly get pregnant? Should she tell her daughter it's the cool thing to do to stay popular? I just don't get that mentality? As a parent their well being should come first, not how popular they are.
I tried to stay with the style too, and luckily when I was 11, 12, & 13 the baggy style was in, but my mom would have NEVER let me walk out of the house like these girls do. Sure I wore tight and short when I was in my late teens and twenties, but 12, 13 & 14 is wayyyy too young. And they styles today are wayyyy too short and skanky.
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| Posted 2/14/13 10:29 PM |
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Maybe that's just all they own. it doesn't mean they will dress that way at a job, I hope. When i first started working a lot of the women wore much shorter skirts than I see now & pantsuits seemed odd & now I see them on women all day long.
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| Posted 2/14/13 11:14 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by PennyJ923
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Jenny614
Im trying to understand the mind of the mother who allows her daughter to walk out of the house like this. They :
a) Still view their 13 year old like a baby and think its cute that she is playing dress up?
b) Know that this is the "trend" and would never want to interfere with their daughters chance to be cool and popular. They hated high school and would not want their kids to go through the same thing?
c) The mom has no clue and the girl is changing her outfit when she gets to school?
I know from talking to my SIL about it that she is all about option B above.
I feel like she is trying to live vicariously through her daughter.
Always saying how POPULAR she is etc
How all the kids are wearing it.
How you have to be "in"
Half the issues in these cases are with the PARENTS
So does she think it's cool to have sex at that age? Possibly get pregnant? Should she tell her daughter it's the cool thing to do to stay popular? I just don't get that mentality? As a parent their well being should come first, not how popular they are.
I tried to stay with the style too, and luckily when I was 11, 12, & 13 the baggy style was in, but my mom would have NEVER let me walk out of the house like these girls do. Sure I wore tight and short when I was in my late teens and twenties, but 12, 13 & 14 is wayyyy too young. And they styles today are wayyyy too short and skanky.
I agree with you 100%.
I really lost a lot of respect for her, seeing how she is letting her DD grow up.
She used to be very strict when she was younger- now forget it!
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| Posted 2/15/13 8:58 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
So funny you mention this. My sister teaches at a MS. She said that the things that kids know about nowadays, we had no clue about when we were that age!
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| Posted 2/15/13 9:34 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Jenny614
Im trying to understand the mind of the mother who allows her daughter to walk out of the house like this. They :
a) Still view their 13 year old like a baby and think its cute that she is playing dress up?
b) Know that this is the "trend" and would never want to interfere with their daughters chance to be cool and popular. They hated high school and would not want their kids to go through the same thing?
c) The mom has no clue and the girl is changing her outfit when she gets to school?
I know from talking to my SIL about it that she is all about option B above.
I feel like she is trying to live vicariously through her daughter.
Always saying how POPULAR she is etc
How all the kids are wearing it.
How you have to be "in"
Half the issues in these cases are with the PARENTS
Omg, that is so sad. If the parents are encouraging those values and beliefs then no wonder the girls are dressing and behaving like this! I will never fall victim to that mentality. I can't imagine encouraging my kids to do so either. 
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| Posted 2/15/13 10:02 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Middle school is a tough time.
Self esteem is so important and they are hitting puberty, so positive reinforcement from the other sex is so important. If a parent thinks they will keep their kid from dressing sexy when they want to, they are delusional. Kids hike up their school uniforms all the time and roll those catholic school skirts. Make up is easy to stick in a purse and apply at school.
I do encourage people with teen kids to talk about birth control. Teen pregnancy was an issue at my middle school. To find out your kid had sex is one thing, to find out she's pregnant is another... Even if she still watches cartoons!
I don't know the answer to this except to talk to your kids a lot. Let them know that they are more than just sexy or pretty... But also praise them for being beautiful when they are wearing jeans and a t shirt.
As for media, yeah... Of course we are promoting super sexy. Why wouldn't girls going through puberty dress like a sexy secretary in school? Maybe prizes should have been given to those dressing creatively and pictures taken to promote it. Also, professional day could have been "pick a profession and dress that way". Then, you would have gotten doctors and firemen.
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| Posted 2/15/13 10:43 AM |
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Re: Worried about the future for my girls...
Being proactive in your child's life is the key. They are not going to do everything you wish they will but if they hang out with the right crowd and know you are watching what they are doing, you are one step of the game.
I have a 14 year old and she tells me everything and I am aware of who the "wrong" crowd is and so is she and she stays away from them even though some were friends just a couple of years ago.
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| Posted 2/15/13 1:18 PM |
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