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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Can you ease into it - perhaps go back part time November-January and then full time in January? Based on your post it seems that there would still be some element of a financial burden but perhaps if you have some income, not quite as great.
If the above is possible, it would be my recommendation. And I'm sorry you're going through this - it's the hardest part of motherhood, as far as I'm concerned 
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Posted 10/8/10 11:04 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Personally I would go back later if you can make it work financially. I only took my 4 months paid time and didn't take extra time. I wish I did. I missed DS terribly and it was difficult pumping at work and my milk supply dropped.
That missing feeling never went away for me, which is why I plan to be a SAHM starting from next year. I never got used to it.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:04 AM |
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photoshopbabe
wow....
Member since 5/07 2197 total posts
Name:
linda
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
you know my answer!
but im not a working mom, or...mom, lol
this is such a hard decision!
but id prob wait it out..ha!
could u work part time at all?
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:11 AM |
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remyc
LIF Toddler
Member since 3/09 420 total posts
Name:
claire
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
You will feel much better after you go back. Just getting that part over with. It sounds like your lo is in the best possible situation while you are not there. Once you are in the swing of things you will develop new patterns and your time together will be more special.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:12 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Posted by Tilde
So, I am supposed to go back the first week of November and I can't stop thinking about it. Since day one, I have wasted hours crying about going back.
If I wait to go back until January, we would literally be barely scraping by. It would be so hard. . . and then the day is going to come anyway right?
So, I should just get it over with and go back. AnnaMaria is going to be with my mom and DH, the two people who love her as much as I do. And what happens in January when I STILL don't want to go back?
So, I am just thinking out loud I guess - I should just go back and deal with it because I would just waste the extra two months worrying about the inevitable PLUS having to worry about money.
Ok, this post was pointless LOL
Go back in November.
You'll have Thanksgiving and Xmas breaks before you know it which will help ease you into being back into your previous schedule
You'll also probably enjoy the holidays more if you go back now. You wont me as tight on cash and you won't have the return looming over you.
Message edited 10/8/2010 11:23:06 AM.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:20 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
you have to go back eventually....
BUT .... you could take those extra months, be home for thanksgiving and christmas. then go back in the new year.
If you can take an extra two months I would do it 
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:24 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
I would stretch out my time off as much as possible!
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:28 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
I'm the boring, practical person - I say suck it up and go back in November. -
Either way, you have to go back, so why wait an extra two months if you're just going to continue to agonize about it, AND have to stress over money ??
Honestly, every single working Mom I know has said the same thing, the anticpation of having to do it is SO much worse than actually DOING it.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:29 AM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
can you go back part time from Nov-Jan?
I am going back after 8 weeks, but only working 2x a week from home to stay out an extra month. It works for me bc I can stay home longer and my company bc they'll at least get some work out of me sooner!
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:30 AM |
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Sunday
In love with a boy named Luca
Member since 6/09 1799 total posts
Name:
`
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
If Annamaria is going to be with ur mom and dh I say go. I came back a little over a month ago and although it was hard, knowing mil is taking the best car made it easier. If ds had to go to daycare so young it would have been a MUCH tougher decision and I'm sure it would have hurt a lot more/ been harder to come to terms with.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:32 AM |
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Marbo
LOVE
Member since 7/08 2374 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Can you go back in December, that way it is a little longer but not as long and then you can get back to having your paycheck?
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:33 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Thanks for all the opinions! It really helps to "talk" it out . . . I am going to call on Monday and just see what all of my options are.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:33 AM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Go back in November, and if you can do it and your agency lets you, try to do it part time so you ease yourself in.
Not sure if you are advancing yourself leave, or if you are in a LWOP status, but keep that in mind too. I can't recall if LWOP status has an effect on your FERS time, but think about the longterm financial implications.
This is my first week back (DD is 3 mo, and I just jumped right in, full time). Its been a really hard week, but since I advanced myself so much time, I have to start paying it all back, and in the end, this is all for DD.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Its not easy, especially when you have a choice!
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:34 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for all the opinions! It really helps to "talk" it out . . . I am going to call on Monday and just see what all of my options are.
can you take advanced leave at your agency?
here, they allow you to take 6 weeks of advanced leave. but it takes you two years to pay it back (I think they take the hours you earn each week as repayment) and if you leave the govt before you repay, you have to pay them back cash money.
but if you are planning on staying a while, and it's an option, look into it. you'd get your full pay.
ETA: haha Liz. yeah, what she said.
Message edited 10/8/2010 11:37:50 AM.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:37 AM |
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labonnevie
sometimes 1+1= 4 <3
Member since 8/09 3869 total posts
Name:
the lucky one
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Do you want a perfect mother to answer this question - let me know before I start REALLy typing away.... 
hahaha!
you've talked yourself in cirles tilde, as i do all the time!! you're right though, if you postpone it, you're postponing the inevitable. but FWIW, my friend postponed it for 9 months and said it wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be! i hope the same for you!
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:39 AM |
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JoJo2010
Happy Family
Member since 8/09 6266 total posts
Name:
JO
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Linda1003
Posted by Salason
It's like ripping a band aid... and being with your mom (at least IMO) is the best case scenario right? You'll get through it so I'd do it sooner rather than later if it will have a huge financial impact
I agree with this!!
I agree. I was in the same boat, and sucked it up and went back in Nov. Esp. since she'll be in such good hands!
ITA with all the above!
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:42 AM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 9/21/2011 1:40:20 PM.
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| Posted 10/8/10 12:23 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
Posted by sweetie
Posted by Tilde
Thanks for all the opinions! It really helps to "talk" it out . . . I am going to call on Monday and just see what all of my options are.
U can take advance sick but it would take FOREVER to pay it back!
Honestly, if you all saw the leave I have left you would punch me or laugh at me. But I won't touch that leave - that is for DC #2  This would be LWOP, meaning I would have to pay back my insurance - and it would screw up my comp date and all that stuff.
I know I am crazy LOL
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| Posted 10/8/10 1:00 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
oh man if i had the option to go back in january, i would totally do it!!!
it will be hard later too but so what you got a few extra months out of it!!
do it!! time with the baby is not time wasted!
i thought leaving behind my 3 month old was sooooo hard to do!! i would much rather go back to work when she was 6 months.
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| Posted 10/8/10 1:14 PM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 9/21/2011 1:37:24 PM.
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| Posted 10/8/10 1:31 PM |
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ko123
My loves!
Member since 10/07 3002 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
I'm going back in December after being home 6 months with DD and I cry about it often. I know it's inevitable, and I truly love my job but it's still so hard.
Because you have DH and your mom to watch DD I say go back now rather than scrape by money wise. If she were going to daycare or to a sitter I would probably tell you to stay home as long as you could! I'm dreading leaving DD with a sitter...
Message edited 10/8/2010 1:43:40 PM.
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| Posted 10/8/10 1:42 PM |
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Livysmom
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/10 392 total posts
Name:
Bonnie
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
A part of me wants to say to wait as long as you can, but at the same time, the longer you are home, the harder it will bewhen you do go back. If you are having a hard time with it now, the extra 3 months you have home, you may be spending feeling the same way. I went back to work after 3 months and it ripped my heart out, but like other ladies have said, once you do it and establish that routine, its not as bad. Also, since she will be with your mom/dh that makes it much easier than a daycare...which i had to do.
Everything will work out but if you are really making yourself sick over it, definately take the extra time if you can. Sorry if i wasnt too much help
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| Posted 10/8/10 2:13 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
If it was at a different time of the year I'd say stay out longer, but you said financially you'll be scraping.. and Christmas is coming!! I'd go back now and get it over with.
When I had DD I cried every day for a month about going back. I know how you feel but it does get easier over time.
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| Posted 10/8/10 2:20 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
tough one
I went back in the first week of Dec and it really does help having those holidays off. Makes the months go by faster and give you time to get 'used' to it.
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| Posted 10/8/10 2:36 PM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Working Moms, trying to figure something out
No advice, really, just some sympathy!
I totally know how you feel. Be glad you had this long to stay with her!!
The first week is the worst and it gets better as time goes on. Not gonna lie, there are still days where I have mini-meltdowns, ok who am I kidding, I have major meltdowns but then I get over it and life goes on. Angelina is perfectly happy just as Im sure AnnaMaria will be, and if they get lonely they can have playdates on Tuesdays!!!:- I honestly think it gets to me more than it does the baby. D 
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| Posted 10/8/10 3:30 PM |
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