| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 |
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by Redhead
Continuing:
And to be quite frank...I have heard a certain male poster here talk about "his woman" in not in the most flattering way. It is just venting and joking around. People generalize a lot about lots of people actually....MIL's or should i say monster in-laws IMO get the most crap actually. IMO it is natural.
And i know that LOTS of guys when they are around their male friends talk about the PITA little woman and all the nagging that she does...
This is just not a locker room 
and it's generalities that contribute to the overall views of society
|
Posted 10/18/05 9:07 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
The funny thing is, you never hear the other guys on here complain. Well, it's time one of us did.
Don: very good post. You know that I do happen to agree with you on most every point you made in your post.... that is, except for the one above.
My ONLY beef is this line above .. despite what you said we have DEFINITELY heard male complaints here. Maybe not from you but definitely from ONE of YOUR OWN. Yet irregardless, I do not believe that for the mere fact you are the same sex as this person that we ladies lump you , Ron, Dengal, or any other male posters together for the sheer fact you are all men.
Since there are only a handful of men on here I do not believe that the men can ever dominate THIS board with threads such as "women are pains in the azzes" without major backlash. Is it fair? NO, of course not.. you should be able to say and do the same things we do! But until we get more male members on here, the battle of the sexes just isn't an equal battle on LIFs. This is a very unbalanced forum with most members having come from LIWs and thus being ladies.. so when you are in the minority, you are never gonna be able to represent your perspective quite the same way the ladies do (though I give you major props for trying to represent, and you have done well)
BUT again, I am NOT disagreeing with you at all. I do think that often the male-bashing gets out of hand. Some of the "men s*ck" threads ARE a little overboard, especially when the you read the thread and think "what is the big deal?" But what bothers one person does not bother the other .. and I think that is the same for men and women alike
And further...I TOTALLY agree with you here:
If Boosh got a gift for every time I screwed up, we wouldn't have a place to live because there would be no room. And vice versa.
That is entirely true, same goes for me and A..... we both screw up a LOT and do not always "make up for it" in the way of gifts.. usually an apology will suffice. But you cannot disagree that when things really cause a rift, a little forgiveness in the form of a card/flowers, while not necessary, is a very nice way to smooth things over - no? It should not be DEMANDED or EXPECTED but in the big scheme of thing, I think that it does a lot in the ways of managing a marriage well
Message edited 10/18/2005 10:27:19 AM.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 10:25 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
The funny thing is, you never hear the other guys on here complain. Well, it's time one of us did.
Don: very good post. You know that I do happen to agree with you on most every point you made in your post.... that is, except for the one above.
My ONLY beef is this line above .. despite what you said we have DEFINITELY heard male complaints here. Maybe not from you but definitely from ONE of YOUR OWN. Yet irregardless, I do not believe that for the mere fact you are the same sex as this person that we ladies lump you , Ron, Dengal, or any other male posters together for the sheer fact you are all men.
Since there are only a handful of men on here I do not believe that the men can ever dominate THIS board with threads such as "women are pains in the azzes" without major backlash. Is it fair? NO, of course not.. you should be able to say and do the same things we do! But until we get more male members on here, the battle of the sexes just isn't an equal battle on LIFs. This is a very unbalanced forum with most members having come from LIWs and thus being ladies.. so when you are in the minority, you are never gonna be able to represent your perspective quite the same way the ladies do (though I give you major props for trying to represent, and you have done well)
BUT again, I am NOT disagreeing with you at all. I do think that often the male-bashing gets out of hand. Some of the "men s*ck" threads ARE a little overboard, especially when the you read the thread and think "what is the big deal?" But what bothers one person does not bother the other .. and I think that is the same for men and women alike
And further...I TOTALLY agree with you here:
If Boosh got a gift for every time I screwed up, we wouldn't have a place to live because there would be no room. And vice versa.
That is entirely true, same goes for me and A..... we both screw up a LOT and do not always "make up for it" in the way of gifts.. usually an apology will suffice. But you cannot disagree that when things really cause a rift, a little forgiveness in the form of a card/flowers, while not necessary, is a very nice way to smooth things over - no? It should not be DEMANDED or EXPECTED but in the big scheme of thing, I think that it does a lot in the ways of managing a marriage well
totally agreed, and when a big rift happens, it's a judgement call, and shouldn't be done because the guilty party is made to feel he or she is OWED anything
and OK, i'll give you the one male who has complained -- we can't all be perfect 
|
| Posted 10/18/05 10:28 AM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
BUT again, I am NOT disagreeing with you at all. I do think that often the male-bashing gets out of hand. Some of the "men s*ck" threads ARE a little overboard, especially when the you read the thread and think "what is the big deal?" But what bothers one person does not bother the other .. and I think that is the same for men and women alike
I agree with this too, and I would rather have a sincere apology with an attempt to not do it again than a gift any day.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 10:32 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by dpli
Posted by FeliciaDP
BUT again, I am NOT disagreeing with you at all. I do think that often the male-bashing gets out of hand. Some of the "men s*ck" threads ARE a little overboard, especially when the you read the thread and think "what is the big deal?" But what bothers one person does not bother the other .. and I think that is the same for men and women alike
I agree with this too, and I would rather have a sincere apology with an attempt to not do it again than a gift any day.
exactly!! 
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:31 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Redhead
Good Points Don
BUT if my "man" is going to treat my property with such utter lack of concern....possibly causing it damage. YOU BET HE WILL PAY Reparations !
ETA. and how i choose to spend said reparations...is entirely up to me
counterpoint:
he didn't treat your property with an utter lack of concern intentionally. It's not like he went outside and said, "I'm going to leave the car door open". It was a mistake, we all make them. You are owed an apology, nothing more.
IMO that isn't true...although it was unintentional....it is still careless....and if you do something careless that causes problems then you are most certainly should do something to make up for it.
is it necessary...maybe not
But imo it is a nice gesture!
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:33 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by dpli
Posted by FeliciaDP
BUT again, I am NOT disagreeing with you at all. I do think that often the male-bashing gets out of hand. Some of the "men s*ck" threads ARE a little overboard, especially when the you read the thread and think "what is the big deal?" But what bothers one person does not bother the other .. and I think that is the same for men and women alike
I agree with this too, and I would rather have a sincere apology with an attempt to not do it again than a gift any day.
i got both...even better
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:34 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Redhead
Good Points Don
BUT if my "man" is going to treat my property with such utter lack of concern....possibly causing it damage. YOU BET HE WILL PAY Reparations !
ETA. and how i choose to spend said reparations...is entirely up to me
counterpoint:
he didn't treat your property with an utter lack of concern intentionally. It's not like he went outside and said, "I'm going to leave the car door open". It was a mistake, we all make them. You are owed an apology, nothing more.
IMO that isn't true...although it was unintentional....it is still careless....and if you do something careless that causes problems then you are most certainly should do something to make up for it.
is it necessary...maybe not
But imo it is a nice gesture!
an apology isn't a nice gesture?
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:34 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
But to be honest....the postsa bout how WONDERFUL THE DH is MOST DEFINITELY outweights the negative here....
AND not for nothing....i think expressing annoyed feelings, as which my post did, IS COMPLETELY NORMAL...
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:36 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
he didn't treat your property with an utter lack of concern intentionally. It's not like he went outside and said, "I'm going to leave the car door open". It was a mistake, we all make them. You are owed an apology, nothing more.
IMO that isn't true...although it was unintentional....it is still careless....and if you do something careless that causes problems then you are most certainly should do something to make up for it.
is it necessary...maybe not
But imo it is a nice gesture!
an apology isn't a nice gesture?
yes it is...and i got a little somethign more
nothign wrong with that
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:37 AM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
an apology isn't a nice gesture?
In my opinion.. an apology is a GIVEN .. you better apologize when you screw up , that is the bare minimum
The GIFT is a nice gesture .. an extra .. not necessary, but surely welcomed (nor should be expected, but that is up to every individual couple to decide )
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:37 AM |
| |
|
SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Wow, you're lucky your battery didn't die. Thank goodness your car started! 
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:37 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
an apology isn't a nice gesture?
In my opinion.. an apology is a GIVEN .. you better apologize when you screw up , that is the bare minimum
The GIFT is a nice gesture .. an extra .. not necessary, but surely welcomed (nor should be expected, but that is up to every individual couple to decide )
ok, i'll buy that -- like i said, it should be a judgement call on the part of the guilty party
if he WANTS to buya gift to make amends, cool. But he shouldn't be made to feel that he HAS to everytime there is a screw up.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:38 AM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by Redhead
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
I have to agree with this 100% actually. I do believe that sometimes the "MY HUSBAND is SOOOOO PERFECT" posts can make me more annoyed than those "MY DH IS A JACKAZZ" posts..
And I do think that more often than not, a LOT of pepole sugar-coat their relationships to make them SEEM perfect, but in fact is there really such a thing? Marriage is HARD, it has tons of ups and downs.. we ALL fight, to varying degrees.. Sometimes this board DOES need a dose a reality! 
Message edited 10/18/2005 11:40:46 AM.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:39 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
well then say hello to the reality check!!
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:41 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by Redhead
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
I have to agree with this 100% actually. I do believe that sometimes the "MY HUSBAND is SOOOOO PERFECT" can make me more annoyed than those "MY DH IS A JACKAZZ" posts..
i agree...
the life is sooo wonderful makes a lot of people feel alone and extremely sad....
And OF COURSE the Jacjazz part is an exageration.....
It is letting off steam....
And GUYS do it too...maybe not here...but they do it
THe DH's friend b!tch about they wives like a group of catty women sometimes...yet they still love them dearly...
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:41 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by Redhead
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
I have to agree with this 100% actually. I do believe that sometimes the "MY HUSBAND is SOOOOO PERFECT" posts can make me more annoyed than those "MY DH IS A JACKAZZ" posts..
And I do think that more often than not, a LOT of pepole sugar-coat their relationships to make them SEEM perfect, but in fact is there really such a thing? Marriage is HARD, it has tons of ups and downs.. we ALL fight, to varying degrees.. Sometimes this board DOES need a dose a reality!
AGREE 100%
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:42 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by Redhead
But to be honest....the postsa bout how WONDERFUL THE DH is MOST DEFINITELY outweights the negative here....
AND not for nothing....i think expressing annoyed feelings, as which my post did, IS COMPLETELY NORMAL...
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
and like i said initially, i am not disputing the vents, just the responses
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:42 AM |
| |
|
MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by FeliciaDP
Posted by Redhead
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
I have to agree with this 100% actually. I do believe that sometimes the "MY HUSBAND is SOOOOO PERFECT" posts can make me more annoyed than those "MY DH IS A JACKAZZ" posts..
And I do think that more often than not, a LOT of pepole sugar-coat their relationships to make them SEEM perfect, but in fact is there really such a thing? Marriage is HARD, it has tons of ups and downs.. we ALL fight, to varying degrees.. Sometimes this board DOES need a dose a reality!
but flee...my dh IS Sooooooooooo Perfect!!!
NOT!!!!!
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:42 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
there is only one mr. perfect and he passed away three years ago 
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:43 AM |
| |
|
FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Redhead
But to be honest....the postsa bout how WONDERFUL THE DH is MOST DEFINITELY outweights the negative here....
AND not for nothing....i think expressing annoyed feelings, as which my post did, IS COMPLETELY NORMAL...
posting aobut how great things are is a false sense of reality that this board perpetuates..And i think it is time for that to change a bit!
and like i said initially, i am not disputing the vents, just the responses
Gotcha I think you are right there.. that it becomes a whole thread of YOU ARE RIGHT, ALL MEN S*CK and that generalziation is a bit unfair..
But again.. if this board was predominantely MALE, dont you think the same would hold true in reverse? I def think so!
My DH is on his car websites... there are MAYBE 10 women who post on those, and the rest are men... let me just say that the NASTINESS than comes off from their mouths towards women is 10000x worse than anything any woman has said here.. truthfully, it appauls me what men can say, they take it to a diff. level
Message edited 10/18/2005 11:45:45 AM.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:44 AM |
| |
|
SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
OK, at long last, after reviewing the thread and similar threads over the past several weeks, here is my response.
I have noticed over the past little while that there have been several threads where someone will come on and "vent" about something their DH has done. First, let me make it clear that this is totally fine. When someone screws up, you have a right to be angry and a right to vent.
Here's where I have a problem. After the initial "vent", we get pages and pages of responses that attack men. We get:
"all men are idiots"
"all men are stupid"
"men are jerks"
"men are a$$holes"
"men don't get it"
"men are absent-minded"
etc.
These generalized statements are silly and without substance, IMO, and disrespectful to the six guys on this site (Ron included :). The funny thing is, you never hear the other guys on here complain. Well, it's time one of us did.
The second thing that irks me is that there seems to be an opinion on here that when your man screws up, that you are somehow OWED something in return (e.g. a gift). Let me break it down for you. You are owed NOTHING, except an apology for the mistake. We're human, we all make mistakes. Yes, even me. It's called married life. We're all gonna leave the car door open, leave the milk out, forget to take out the garbage, etc. But this idea that every screw up deserves a gift is silly IMO. If Boosh got a gift for every time I screwed up, we wouldn't have a place to live because there would be no room. And vice versa.
Now, there are exceptions to this and hey, if your guy wants to buy you a gift after a fight, well, that's because he wants to. But he shouldn't have to feel like he owes you anything, other than an apology.
I have said my piece. Let the flames begin.
I agree with what you said. When I was pregnant, I was somewhat lacking in the brains department and I did some STUPID things. DH never expected anything from me, but apologies. We all make mistakes and to expect gifts because of it is kind of silly. I don't expect gifts from DH when he makes a mistake. All I want is an "I'm sorry" and a hug. I'd rather he gets me a "just because I love you" present than a "sorry I f-ed up" present. JMO.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:44 AM |
| |
|
MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
there is only one mr. perfect and he passed away three years ago
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:44 AM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by MrsERod
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
there is only one mr. perfect and he passed away three years ago
no need to give me hugs, it was a professional wrestler
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:46 AM |
| |
|
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Wonder Husband
Posted by SoinLove
I agree with what you said. When I was pregnant, I was somewhat lacking in the brains department and I did some STUPID things. DH never expected anything from me, but apologies. We all make mistakes and to expect gifts because of it is kind of silly. I don't expect gifts from DH when he makes a mistake. All I want is an "I'm sorry" and a hug. I'd rather he gets me a "just because I love you" present than a "sorry I f-ed up" present. JMO.
If you re-read the thread you willsee NOBODY "expected" any gifts....
ETA...and actually i do get the "just because i love you " gifts too...I don't have to chose one or the other
Message edited 10/18/2005 11:48:09 AM.
|
| Posted 10/18/05 11:47 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 |
