When you had your 2nd baby

When you had your 2nd baby, did you introduce DC#1 to the baby alone as a family first, before letting grandparents etc.. come with them?

I think I want it to be a special time for my little family and have DD come in first to meet her brother without my parents or inlaws involved yet. They can come in like 10 minutes after, or even before she meets her brother, but I just want to take in the first meeting without them there with just me and my husband.

Did anyone else do this?

When you had your 2nd baby

My 2nd DC is due in May. It is also our plan to have my DD come in alone so it can be just us 4 for the first time. I really don't want other people around for that moment. I think it is going to be wonderful yet overwhelming for my DD and I just want it to be us.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

DS1 was just 2 and could care less. I had a scheduled c so he was with all the grandparents in the waiting room. They all came in together to meet the new baby and DH picked him up to show him his brother. He didn't want anything to do with him. He liked the fish and toys in the waiting room better. LOL!
I think if he was older and understood I would've had him come in alone.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

When you had your 2nd baby

Yes, I would hae done the same. I wanted it to be a quiet family moment so we could introduce her and hear her response without the grandparents chiming in. DD2 ended up in the nicu so we introduced them at home once she was discharged. We got some amazing video of dd1's thoughts as they first met which is priceless. She was 2.5 at the time.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I'm not sure how old your first is, but it may not be as big of a deal as you think it will be to your child.

We had DS at day care the day I had DD so he could have as normal of a day as possible. It was also important to me that he had a nap so he was more manageable for my parents.

DD was born in the morning and my parents met her first. My sister and BIL came later. My parents left to bring DS to the hospital so it was just my family when DS met his sister. DS was very confused seeing me in bed holding a baby. And seeing his sister was confusing to him. It took him a little while to realize what was going on. I think it helped having my family there - who we are really close to - to help him understand everything. And he was clinging on to my mom a lot, rather than me, which is more typical. This is a HUGE transition for your first child and no matter what you do to prepare her, nothing will prepare her for what's ahead.

So my point is just to try not to build up some big important scenario in your head since there's no telling how that first meeting will go.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

my dd was 15 months old...i had DH bring her into the room for about 15 minutes alone. At her age she was too little to really understand, and enjoyed having my mom and other family members there with us

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I had a C-section, as they were taking my DS into the nursery they stopped and let my DD see him along with my parents who were there watching my DD while DH was with my in surgery. *Most* of the time DD came to see me and her brother in the hospital she was with my parents who were taking care of her so DH could be with me as much as possible.

ETA - My DD was 4.5 yrs old when my DS was born.

Message edited 11/10/2015 9:29:57 AM.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I REALLY wanted it to be that way, but i had to give up the plan. And honestly the poster that said that it really is not all the excitement to big brother or sister was so right.

DD was in day care for the day, my parents and his parents came to hospital and saw me and baby. they stayed with me when Dh went to get my older son (i was puking and didn't want to be alone anyway). I really didn't want them all there when he got there but i could not kick them out. Honestly, he was like... "oh yeah, my brother is here" and was just happy seeing everyone else. After a half hour or so he was more interested in really meeting him, but at 2.5 their attention span is only so much!

I had a c section so in the hospital for 3 days, and he came to hospital with DH everyday for hours. DH never left him except when i was actually giving birth. he loved coming to see him and was great. But it was important to me that we never left him and that one of us was with him and obviously that had to be daddy. I didn't want him to feel replaced or forgotten.

Message edited 11/10/2015 9:54:18 AM.

When you had your 2nd baby

My in laws were watching my son so they brought him to the hospital, DH and my mom were in the room and my in laws and SIL. I didn't mind but we are all very close.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I just had DS in August and DD is two. DH brought her and my parents, who were watching her, to the hospital. I wanted a few minutes of alone time as a new family of four but it didn't quite work out that way, although my parents hung back (in the hallway) to give us some time. DD was excited and all over the place. Lol

I think you've gotten good feedback about expectations and sibling age. No mater what happens, it will be awesome as you welcome the new LO!

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I wanted dd to be the first to meet dd2. I wanted it to be just the four of us and don't want anyone else at the hospital until we had the moment.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

When you had your 2nd baby

im not expecting anything overly special i just want her to be able to meet her without a million people around

When you had your 2nd baby

LOL to all the "older" siblings. I guess I have no idea what to expect. I figured since she is so excited and will be 4.5 she will have this special bonding time, but the hospital room may be much more interesting. We shall see, and at least I know not to expect anything now :)

When you had your 2nd baby

We didn't bring DS 1 to the hospital to see DS 2 when he was born (I was only in there for about 36 hrs after I got back to my room anyway).

When we got home though, DS 1 was at daycare, I wanted it to just be the 4 of us but my inlaws came over since they hadn't met DS 2 either yet (he came early so only my parents and DH saw him in the hospital).

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

Yes. My husband brought her up then grandparents came up

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

My parents brought DS into the recovery room. We were the ones to tell him that he had a little brother and we spent time together with my parents in the recovery room. He was 3.5. I didn't need to have separate time. I was just glad we were the ones to reveal the sex and he was able to meet his brother that day.

When you had your 2nd baby

Yes, DH brought DS up before anyone came. I wanted him to meet DD when it was quiet and no one else was around.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

We wanted it that way but it didn't end up that way since the baby was in the NICU.

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

Re: When you had your 2nd baby

I think having that "special moment" as a new family immediately after birth is more what the parents want and less what the dc1 really wants/needs/understands. Call me unromantic!

I was nearly 7 when my brother was born, and I went to the hospital the next day, and not at any point did I feel I was missing out on something special having a "just the four of us" moment immediately following my brother's birth.

I am having a scheduled c-section and have not yet decided at what point dd will come to see us, but I don't want her frightened if I look like hell coming out of the room or with wires in me, being rolled around in a bed, etc. I personally think it will be better for her if I'm already in my permanent room at a predetermined time when I can dedicate the time and attention to her meeting her new sibling.