Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Posted by Sparrow

Posted by MrsPenthouse

Posted by OrganicMama

If people would stop listening to their idiot doctors on parenting advice, there would be a lot more INSTINCTIVE, attached parenting and less detached, selfish parenting. Why is your baby's (general, directed at no one in particular) needs for comfort, closeness and food completely disregarded at night? Why is it that parents feel they can just flip a switch and your parenting duties are done at bedtime? I will never understand this. There are studies that it produces long term psychological damage in some infants. Also, it is proven that CIO creates a huge surge in stress hormones, that stick around even hours after baby falls asleep. IF IT FEELS WRONG, IT IS WRONG! And if your baby screamng for comfort and food doesn't feel wrong to you, I think that's just crazy and sick.

I admire you for voicing this and fully agree....we are just such a minority on this forum. Thank you for being here

I'm totally with you two! Babies cry for a reason and I'm not ok with ignoring it until they just give up. Yes, it's really rough but around a year old my kids actually did STTN (I used the No Cry Sleep Solution for help) and still do vast majority of nights now.

Also, at least in our house, DH is fine with the idea of CIO BUT he isn't woken up by a baby crying. He often would have no idea that I had been up with the baby 2-3 times. At least for my DH, he isn't wired to have a baby's cry wake him, where I'm up the second I hear a whimper. I could just be a lighter sleeper than he is but I tend to think this could be an evolutionary thing since women are the ones to breastfeed infants.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

I don't believe in CIO. They don't stop crying because they "learned" to go to sleep or self soothe.

They stop crying because no one comes to comfort them.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

I don't think most rational, normal people who let their kids CIO are sitting on the couch drinking scotch while their child screams until they throw up -

As a matter of fact, most of the parents I know who don't (or can't) CIO are parents of those exact kids - the ones who tried to let them CIO and they get so worked up they make themselves sick.
Those parents don't continue to let their children make themselves sick screaming .........they just deal with having to get them to sleep other ways -

But that doesn't mean it's wrong to TRY. no one is telling anyone to let a baby scream for hours and hours ........

I let both of my boys CIO, but I used my freakin' brain. As parents, DH and I learned when they were crying b/c they needed something or were sick or were just having a bad night and needed some 'extra' from us - vs when they were crying 'just b/c' they wanted us to lay w/ them or whatever. Many many people are perfectly happy and comfortable to have their children dictate everything ....that's fine, for them....DH and I are not those parents, and it deosn't make us worse (or better).
I don't stop being a mother at 9:30 - If you're scared, or sick, or just having a bad night - I'm there .....but otherwise .........No, it's bed time. Go to sleep. End of story. You are not calling the shots here kid. Close your eyes.

And I personally do believe that getting themselves to sleep is a learned behavior. Maybe not a 4 months old ........
But again, I think it's horribly unfair to a child of any age to let them get used to being rocked to sleep, or slept with, or whatever the case may be, if you don't plan to continue that behavior for an extended period of time. - A 2 or 3 year old that has been rocked to sleep for 3 years isn't going to easily shake that need ........I just think it's worse/more difficult for a child at 3 to acclimate, than it is for a baby at 6 months ........so I preferred to do it sonner rather than later.

And no, I don't have any google researched medical journals to back that up - it's just my "instinct" .........so I went with it.

Message edited 8/22/2014 10:22:34 AM.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

I have a different outlook then most since I adopted my child at 10 months, though she was 10 months she was maybe 3 or 4 months developmentally. We took a ton of classes and workshops on bonding and attachment and there is no way ever would I let my 5 month old cry themselves to sleep.

At that age they are crying for a reason, not just to disrupt your sleep. They need to learn comfort and need to learn that you are the person they feel protected by, not abandoned.

That is my opinion and I would never tell others how to parent their own children. There are alot of other parenting techniques people in my family/family disagree with me about as well but we all respect eachothers right to parent as they see fit.

People need to learn to read others people's opinions and not take them so personally. Just because someone disagrees with you does not mean it's wrong, maybe it will give you a different outlook on what you are doing.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

I would tthink 4 months is a little early for CIO. Usually they say to start it at 6 months if you want to do CIO, I believe.

With my DS, CIO worked like a CHARM. He was 10 months old, and I was at rock bottom. He was waking up every 15 minutes at night. He cried fora while the3 first night, but it wasn't forever. The second night he cried 7 minutes. That was it!!!!!He is 6 now and still an awesome sleeper, and a very happy boy.

With my DD, it did NOT work. It was just not for her. I tried it for a while, but there was just no change. She slept in her fisher price papasan ttill 6 months old and just dealt the best I could with the lack of sleep. She is just about 4 now, and she is also an awesome sleeper, and a very happy girl.

HTH!!! good luck, it can be so hard when you an dDH don't see eye to eye.