What would you do if you were me?

I know you all know the situation w/our upstairs neighbors. Well just to update you..DH had to go up the other day because the husband was throwing himself and yelling. When he went up he told him "listen, I don't know what the hell you are doing up here, but come on already!" He says "I'm sorry..I'm sorry" and that's all he kept saying. So technically...they know what they are doing.

Anyway...yesterday the guy came down and knocked on our door and told DH that they are expecting a living room set, and bedroom set in the evening and wanted to let us know, and then he apologized AGAIN for the noise he was making. After that he proceeded to tell him they are having a party for his stepson on Saturday and wanted to let us know it will probably be noisy. Ok fine..that was nice of him to tell us, but then he went on to invite us? Are you serious dude? No thanks! We will NOT be attending!

Here's the dilemma..when we moved in our box spring (Queen) didn't fit up the stairs, so we had to ask the owners who were living here at the time if we could bring it in through their balcony. They said ok. Our couch didn't fit either..the staircase is VERY narrow and gets more narrow as it goes up to their floor (2nd) We had to take our leather couch apart to bring it up. Now..here's where I need your help.

If they happen to have a Queen size bed and their furniture doesn't fit, should we allow them to come in through our balcony? I really don't want to, especially because DD's room is right there, and I don't want them in here! Also, I just don't want to be nice to them. I know it's wrong, but as it is, besides the noise they make, they have UPS and FedEx ringing our bell for their packages since they know DH is always here..and I found that out from the delivery guys. PErsonally that's messed up and RUDE especially because SHE knows DH works nights and sleeps during the day!! Ackk..I'm blabbering..but

What would you do?

Re: What would you do if you were me?

I'd make sure that I wasn't home during that time so it wouldn't be an issue.

Re: What would you do if you were me?

What I would do is stop posting about it and take some action instead. Moving is probably a good idea, given all the other threads you've started on the horror that is your living situation.

Good luck with it. There has to be something better out there for you and your family.

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Either not be home at that time or just dont answer the bell when they ring it to ask - Ive been though a horrible upstairs neighbor situation before. DH and I ended up moving and actually pay $350 more plus electric than we did and let me tell you: its worth it. Money is nothing compared to sanity. Trust me, we dont have $ but we made it work.

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I would NOT. You don't want these people seeing the inside of your house. I never let random people see my house. I never know if they are "taking stock" so to speak of what I have.

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Message edited 9/13/2007 12:32:06 AM.

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Re: What would you do if you were me?

Posted by nov04libride

I'd make sure that I wasn't home during that time so it wouldn't be an issue.

Re: What would you do if you were me?

Good Luck!!

Re: What would you do if you were me?

I would let them use the balcony.

You don't want to be their friends - and that is totally understandable - so you refused the offer to go to their son's birthday party. That is sending a pretty straightforward and polite message that you are not interested in being more than their downstairs neighbors at this point.

BUT you do not need to be friends with - or even like someone - to offer them assistance in a bad situation.

Two things are at work here. The Golden Rule was embedded in me at an early age. I treat others in accordance with the way that I want to be treated. That doesn't guarantee that you will be given the same treatment back - but it makes the chances better and it gives you the satisfaction of knowing that you are doing the right thing. Someone once helped you out and let you use the balcony. If they hadn't, it would have been an awful situation for you. Now someone else may be asking for the same exact assistance - it seems so unbalanced to refuse.

Also - the more selfish reasoning. You are looking to move - but you haven't moved yet. If you refuse to assist them, you are opening yourself up to a world of upstairs noise and discourtesy beyond what you are experiencing now. If they have to return their bed, you don't think they will want some sort of 'revenge'? It is also possible that they will simply call the landlord and have the landlord grant them access to the balcony - which would really strain relations between all parties even FURTHER.

Ultimately - do what feels right to you. But bear in mind that there may be a time that you need some help and you may have to rely on someone that you don't care for to give it.

Good Luck!

Re: What would you do if you were me?

what ballz they have seriously.. ive been reading ur neighbor saga and feel engraged for u... the nerve of people.. good luck on the house search.. i hope you find a place asap so you can live like a normal person and get back your quality of life...
i really would put a sign on ur door saying packages for "you and dh" only.. something to that effect....
also do not let them use ur balcony.. its their problem you have already dealt with so much no need to be nice to them.. just "civil" until you bounce from that hell hole

Re: What would you do if you were me?

Who lives upstairs? The guy who hates puerto ricans or the one who said you brought all the bugs to the building. If it is the latter, I would make a 10 minute apperance and try to be cordial. Then I would go out for the rest of the night. If it's the crazy landlord who hates puerto ricans... I would call the cops and get the party busted. *evil smile*

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Re: What would you do if you were me?

First,Sorry your in such a bad situation
I would worry that if you left the house,your landlord would be called and he would let everyone into your apartment to move their stuff in....

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I don't think its a big deal to let them bring in the furniture through your balcony...I would definitely try to be cordial for your own sake...you're stuck living there for as long as you need to until you find a house...wouldn't it be better to make things better as opposed to worst? JMHO

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i'd just let them use the balcony and stop playing tit for tat - and in the meantime, work as hard as you can to get out of there ASAP

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I agree with those who said to let them use the balcony. I'd make sure I locked up/hid my valuables, but I think it can only help to be nice to them. Maybe then they would realize you are real people who have to listen to their noise. They would see the baby's room and maybe feel bad next time and shut up.

By the way, I don't mind you posting about this issue! I know how totally awful it can be to have noisy neighbors and it can take a loooong time to find a house. good luck.

Message edited 9/13/2007 10:56:53 AM.

Re: What would you do if you were me?

get out of the situation..soon.

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I know you're desperate to move. I don't think there is any doubt. But right now I think the best thing to do is to keep the living situation as plesant as possible and not give them any reason to be difficult. If you're home (or DH is home) I think you could let them use the balcony if it came to that. Although you're still ahead of yourself now. You don't know if they're even going to NEED to use the balcony.. So just try to stay calm and focus on Milani.

Again, I agree that buying a house in this market is extremely tough with no $ down. Without amazing credit, you're looking at a HUGE mortgage payment and it's alot to put on yourselves. I know you don't want to move again unless it's into a house but sometimes moving somewhere temporary and cheaper (and QUIETER!!) is better so that you can save a little for a down payment. And who knows? 6-12 months from now you could be in a little better shape to comfortably purchase a home and feel secure about buying..

Re: What would you do if you were me?

- i think it was big of him to apologize

-he was only inviting you to be polite, im sure he doesnt really want you there, its only the proper thing to do

-i wouldnt let them use your balcony. you can get around that quite easily by pretending not to be home

i was originally going to say that it would be kind and neighborly letting tehm use the balcony, since YOU had to do it as well and you know the stress that comes along with it... BUT then i thought to myself, i would not let my neighbor in my apartment

Message edited 9/13/2007 12:21:53 PM.