What would you do at this point?

My DH and I need to come up with a "plan" until he finds work. Even with a retail job it's not even going to come close to paying the bills so we have to do something now. I am clueless as to what though, but we can't go on living everyday like nothing has happened and just keep hoping a job calls. It's been over 3 months now and nothing. We're just out of time. Our 2 mortgages, car payment, etc and due soon and there is no money to pay them with. I just REFUSE to live off of credit cards. We just can't get into that hole again. We took out the 2nd mortgage to pay them off so I can't do that. I also can't ruin our credit. It's taken us so long to get to where we are now. We can't afford to mess it up now. We're going to need it to buy another car and house when my DH gets working again. Not right away but shortly after.

So what would you do if you were in this situation??? You're working and only bringing in about 25-30% of the money for bills between 2 jobs. Yeah I know I make horrible money. That's what happens when you don't have a degree and can't afford to learn new skills. Your DH is out of work and can not find any other work, not even retail. You have absolutely no way to pay for your mortgages, car payment, etc. You don't have family to fall back on or a savings account. You're about to lose everything and ruin your credit. There is no one to help, you're on your own. What do you do? Do you rent out the house? We can't sell it because of the 2nd mortgage. The house isn't worth what we took out on it. (Trust me I wish I could sell the house now since the robbery.) The only problem with us renting an apartment is that prices are sky high right now and not far from what our mortgage is, so it would be pointless somewhat. I just don't know what we can do??? My life is about to change for the worse. What can we do before that happens? Any suggestions??? Also, we can't live with my parents or IL's either. Thank you.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Oh my gosh, my heart goes out to you. I really have no advice but want to send you some

Re: What would you do at this point?

Ok let's start out with the immediate issues:
I know one of my mom's friends was having an extremely hard time with paying bills. She contacted the church. They paid for her oil bill & had some members bring over food. While it's not ideal, you need to get social services involved to help you out. They have the resources to get you some additional money from the state. I imagine it's not easy to think of yourself as going on welfare - but you & your DH paid into the state's fund with every check you ever made.Look here

If you could answer some questions (not sure if these have been asked before & dont' have time to search):

What are both your & your DH's skill set?
Where are you located?
What do you need in terms of daycare?

There are places that are hiring - and they are hiring with benefits.

Re: What would you do at this point?

There are several things you can do in the meantime - first being, call ALL of your creditors and explain the situation. Many, including utilities, will give you a break for a few months until you're both back on your feet. What I might suggest, is going to a credit counselor - there are many services that are free - and they will counsel you on how to approach your creditors to ask for a reprieve. If all else fails, I think I would try to get a 0% interest card and put the necessities on that until your husband finds another job. Good luck

Re: What would you do at this point?

I completely feel for your situation, because while we don't own a house yet, just rent, we aren't financially stable enough at this point in our marriage/lives that we'd be able to hold our own if one of us lost our jobs. We just barely get by as it is.

Is your house set up where you'd be able to make a small, even studio apartment out of part of it, to help offset some of the costs of the mortgages and expenses?

I also aggree with Barbara in needing to sit down and make a list of both your skills and DH's skills.

Are there any inexpensive career programs that either of you can get involved in? Some places like NYC offers a fellow program for teachers -- where they pay for your master's degree while you teach for them. Starting salary is around 40K -- and granted you often get put into special ed since that is where the vacancies are, but it's a job with benefits.

Has your DH looked into Temp agencies? I have a friend who temped and the salary was around $14/hr for an office basically doing data entry -- but that turned into a full time job for her. It's hit and miss but sometimes can turn into something and at least can bide you some time and bring some cash in...

Re: What would you do at this point?

how much is your car worth? If you have payments, I'm assuming it's on the new side? I would sell it and buy a cheepie car. that would get you some cash flow and probably would lower your insurance.


I agree - go to social services - at least for WIC - you have a tiny baby and they can help you out.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Posted by Bxgell2

There are several things you can do in the meantime - first being, call ALL of your creditors and explain the situation. Many, including utilities, will give you a break for a few months until you're both back on your feet. What I might suggest, is going to a credit counselor - there are many services that are free - and they will counsel you on how to approach your creditors to ask for a reprieve. If all else fails, I think I would try to get a 0% interest card and put the necessities on that until your husband finds another job. Good luck

Re: What would you do at this point?

You may want to look into WIC, but promise we you won't do a payday loan or any of that kind of crap. That's what my parents did which was imazing since it's illegal in NC to lend to NC residents and now we have the Atty General's office involved.

I got my parents involved with Freedom Point for credit help you may want to look up their website and see if they can help you out with any prior debts.

(((She doesn't live in NY, she lives in NC)))

Message edited 12/13/2006 11:16:33 AM.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Melissa: You work for a university, right? Do they have housing available to faculty & staff? The school my mom works for used to, until they needed it for students, but they were really nice apartments with extremely reasonable rent. The housing dept may also know of a reasonably priced place for you to rent and may be able to help you find a professor to rent your place, if you choose to go that route.

Also, contact the finance dept at your school. They may have a grad student or professor who can offer you free financial advice.

Maybe you can get a few education students to take care of your kids at your home to save on daycare costs. You'd probably need more than one to accomodate their classes, but I'm sure it would be less than daycare.

While he's not working and can watch the kids, can you do OT in other areas of the university? My mom always works graduation even though it's not her department, and since it's time and half or double time on Sunday graduations it's a nice chunk of money. She also used to sell tickets at the basketball and football games for extra money.

I'll ask my mom tonight if she can think of anything else. Good luck!

Re: What would you do at this point?

What you are going through is rough. I am so very sorry, but, don't despair. There are agencies that are set up to help. First, you should contact your creditors and explain your situation. They could help by lowering payment amounts. Second, you can contact the local state agencies and ask for assistance. I know, "welfare", sounds like the beginning of the end, but, it is a system that is set up to help people get over rough times. You put into the system with every paycheck and, now, the system can help you. There is, also, H.E.A.P. which helps families pay for oil. You can, also, contact your local church. Parish Outreach is specifically set up to help families in difficult times. Is your husband eligible for unemployment? If not, maybe, he could apply to the local I.R.S. office. Tax time is right around the corner and they are always looking for extra help. You don't special skills for this.

I hope and pray that everything works out for you.

Re: What would you do at this point?

I have no advice but I sort of know what you are going through If you need to talk please FM me

Re: What would you do at this point?

Even if a retail job would not pay the mortgage, it would be something. I think DH needs to get any job that will hire him even part time. Maybe night hours so that you won't need day care costs, he can work while you are at home. I know not ideal, but losing your house isn't ideal either.

Good Luck!

Re: What would you do at this point?

FYI I think she lives in FL. What about selling your house and getting into a less expensive house? Your state should have programs for your husband to get involved in. Here is a FLwebsite for jobs. What does he do? Computers? I feel for you. What area of FL do you live in? Could he waiter or something> if you can go to a fine dining place you can make some good $$

Re: What would you do at this point?

Re: What would you do at this point?

What does your DH do? I'm a recruiter and have a few openings. It's slow now because of the holiday but you never know.

I also suggest Wicks or a state program to help you out until you et back on your feet. I'm sorry you are in this situation!!

xxxxxxx

Message edited 2/9/2007 8:29:09 PM.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Posted by anon

what does DH do?

this is one of our biggest fears/concerns, DH losing his job and/or one of us having a long term disability situation. for us, DH's "job" should he ever lose his, is to go out and pound the pavement until he gets a new one. it's hard, but it can be done. if your DH has a decent skill set and experience in a particular field, i wouldn't waste time on part-time retail gigs.

you need to answer the following question - has DH REALLY been looking? i mean wake up and working non-stop 9-5 sending out resumes, picking up the phone and contacting all friends, relatives, random leads explaining that he is looking for work? has he made a list of companies that he would be interested in working for and shown up on their front door only to be turned away? unless the above has been done for 4-6 weeks straight i would not throw in the towel.

it's easy to get depressed and unmotivated when looking for work. BTDT and it's a waste of time. you can't afford it. time is money. he needs to get out there and you need to be his cheerleader. sending out a resume or two a day to some random posting online is NOT considered looking for work (again, BTDT). it's easy to hide behind a computer, it's harder to pick up the phone and/or go to places in person.

1. make a list of everyone you know
2. contact each one of those people via phone or email explaining DH is looking for work
3. contact all previous colleagues explaining situation and requesting job leads
4. submit resume to any and all postings you find interesting online, tailor resume and/or cover letter to each job.
5. make a list of companies DH would like to work for
6. contact HR department of those companies selling your skill set and inquiring about existing open opportunities and/or speaking to managers who may be interested in DH's background
7. find a headhunter(s) to work with, i personally wouldn't bother meeting with them, but they are just another avenue to explore and use.

lather, rinse, repeat...

Great Advice!

he WILL find something!

cut back ALL unnecessary spending. eat, sleep and look for work. if we were in this pickle, my job would be to take care of the kids and figure out a way to pay the bills. DH's job would be to find a new one and nothing else.

hang in there...

Message edited 12/13/2006 1:29:20 PM.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Re: What would you do at this point?

Great advice from everyone. I'm sorry things are so rough now.

Your DH should look outside his specialty. There are many jobs that pay decent and have good benefits. There's always government jobs. He could get a commercial driver's license and drive a delivery truck or bus, work for FedEx or UPS. Insurance companies need people to look at damage and write estimates. Businesses need people to work as maintenance for their buildings - not necessarily cleaning, but changing light bulbs, etc. None of these jobs require a degree or experience. When he gets a job someplace else, he can continue to look for a job in his field.

If your house has a garage, you can rent that out. Many people with summer cars or motorcycles want to store them for the winter.

Cut back on your luxuries if you haven't already - get basic cable (or a roof antenna!), get rid of cell phones or get the cheapest plan, watch your electric usage at home (turn off all those lights you don't use), don't go out or get take out, use coupons in the store, cancel your newspaper delivery - any expenses that are not essential, get rid of them. Once things turn around, you can slowly begin adding these things back in your life (if you want to).

Good luck to you and your husband and hang in there... things will get better.

Re: What would you do at this point?

i'm so sorry you are going thru this! do you have any experience waitressing? or does you DH? you can make great money and it's not that hard to get a job. it's how i put myself thru school with 2 kids!!!

Re: What would you do at this point?

I'm so so sorry you're going through this. I will say a prayer for you guys. I agree with everything the girls have written above, I'm sorry I don't have more advice...but

Re: What would you do at this point?

I would make DH go look for something that will pay the bills. If he's unemployed now, it might not be his ideal job, but at least it will contribute toward the bills.

Re: What would you do at this point?

You are in my prayers. I agree with everything all of the other ladies said.

Re: What would you do at this point?

Honestly- I would seriously consider taking my kids out of daycare and waitress or bartend- you can make more that a full time job and you can stay home with your kids during the day and save on daycare expenses- LIE on the watressing apps and say that you have waitress experience up the wazoo- most place DO NOT check. Make sure your Dh is getting on the horn everyday with another company- looking for jobs seek out temp agencys- thats how I got my full time job.

Another thing is refinancing- can you get a bettter loan- why dont you get you house reaapraised and take the equity and put it in a savings account that you do not touch just for the mortgage. So that you at least have your mortgage paid each month. For example lets say your mortgage is 1k per month for arguments sake, Refi- take the 10k in equiy out of the loan- put it in to a checking account ( no debit card attached) Each month right out only the checks for the mortgage- that will give you 10 months of not worrying about mortgage and time fDh to get a job.

Worst comes to absolute worse- government assistace or renting out a portion of the house.

Re: What would you do at this point?

First, I just want to tell you to keep holding onto your hope and faith that things will get better. Financial problems can destroy many things including a marriage, so try not to let it affect your relationship. Remember the mantra: for better or worse....and stick together. Also as they say, This too shall pass...

I notice you said that you didn't have a college degree? Perhaps, down the road when you get on your feet, you can consider taking classes at night to get an associate's as a start. What type of work do you do? Perhaps you can look into paralegal or medical billing or other certificate programs that don't require college degrees, but are decent paying as well as growing fields?

As for your DH, I don't know the circumstances surrounding his job loss, but if it were me, I would definitely try to encourage him to find a job fast! That could mean taking something outside of his field as others have said to hold you over for the time being. What about the Postal Service - there are always jobs there that offer PAID OT ranging from clerk to mail carrier to mgmt. Since it is semi-govt, the starting pay is fair and decent and it also comes with great medical benefits and a pension plan and also very hard to get fired/downsized. Something to look into.

As for right now, do you REALLY need daycare? That is a huge expense. Can you have someone (perhaps your doctor - maybe they can fudge soemthing) write a note explaining that your child needs to be out for an extended period but would like to rejoin down the road - would you really lose a spot? How long has your child been attending? Perhaps yuo can talk to the director and explain your situation. How old is he? Arent the numbers/ratio greater anyway when they get older - meaning there is a good chance he can return....Anyway, I would talk to the director right away, that is a big expense that you can eliminate for now. I am sure they would be understanding.

Good luck....

Message edited 12/14/2006 11:58:57 AM.