What would be more important to you??

If you had to choose between struggling financially an having your family and friends all around you, or living a more comfortable life in an area where you have/know no one, which would you choose?

Re: What would be more important to you??

For me it would depend on how far away we were moving. I'd love to live more comfortably, but would not move more than say 2-3 hours away from our family. When we have kids I want them to have a close relationship with their grandparents. My grandparents always lived in FL and I feel like they never really got to know me (though we visited and they visited) like my grandmother who lives in NY.

Re: What would be more important to you??

we made this decision and as you know, chose to live comfortably with not so many people around. We do have DH sister and her family 45 minutes away, but she has her own family and life so we don't see them much.

My family supported our decision and MIL has since come around and admitted that what we did was the best decision for us.

Re: What would be more important to you??

this is all we've been thinking about too. But, i have to say... as much as we would miss our families and friends, 'just getting by' isn't what we want to settle for in life. Its a tough decision, and you really have to weight the importance of each for yourselves. I feel like, if the cost of living in NY keeps going up the way it has, so many people are going to end up leaving anyway. Its just hard to be one of the first ones to make that move

Re: What would be more important to you??

That's a tough one. When I was growing up we were never near family because my dad was in the Air Force. My family all came to visit us at different points, but I didn't see my grandparents every year. But we spoke on the phone a lot.

Now that I'm near my family I feel like I can't leave, but really the people I'm closest to are my mom and brother. I'd have a hard time leaving them. Everyone else I can deal with not seeing as often.

Good luck, it's not an easy decision.

Re: What would be more important to you??

We couldnt leave, we are way too close to ourMoms, and dh'as brothers and their families..And we know not everyone would leave with us. When we think of "our history" , they all are always there, so we know how much a part of our life they are, and couldnt move to have a better life because of it. a better life is what you make of it. We would love to have a bigger apt, a house etc, but when we weigh it with leaving friends and family , we cant compare the two.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Re: What would be more important to you??

I used to think it was the second one... until this year with us living 1 1/2 hours away from the closest family, 40 minutes from the closest friends, and 35 minutes away from any sort of civilization.

We know that even though we'll be making more next year, we'll be moving into a smaller apartment (we're spoiled this year), but I know we'll be much happier being near friends and some family (my father, his family, and my aunt all live near DC).

I've made a few friends down here, but not nearly as close as friends from college that live near dc. We're so glad to be moving.

One should not live in a town where the population is only about 100 people more than her graduating class in high school

Re: What would be more important to you??

We choose to leave. For us, it was a great decision. I love my job, DH loves his and we adore our house.
My parents used to live in NY but they retired and now live down here and my inlaws are currently building a house and should be down here in a year or two.
We live near disney so people are always coming to visit, I think that helps soften the blow of leaving everyone.

Re: What would be more important to you??

I'd rather have my family and friends closer to me.
Originally when we were house hunting, we "talked" of moving upstate or down south. There was no way I could bring myself to do it, unless we had ppl right behind us.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Same here I would rather have my Family& Friends Right by me and we would in time make ends meat in the beginning everyone struggles but it alway's works out in the end!

Re: What would be more important to you??

to me the love of family and friends and the good memories and traditions they can provide are more important that anything money could afford you

Re: What would be more important to you??

Most def struggleing and having friends and family near me...

FOr me, nothing is more important than friends and family

Re: What would be more important to you??

Definently struggeling but having family and friends near me!

Re: What would be more important to you??

My family is already scattered, so it doesn't apply to me. But most of Dh's is here in NY, and while it would be very hard for him to leave them, he could if we were suffering financially.

Over the last couple of years, branches of his family have left the NY area. They went to Rhode Island, Puerto Rico, and a bunch went to Florida. Family gatherings are smaller and not the same without them, but there is a comfort in knowing they are more secure in their new homes.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Re: What would be more important to you??

DH & I struggle with this decision every day. We can't come to a conclusion yet.

Re: What would be more important to you??

DH and I are trying to decide what to do. Do we stay or do we go. Of course we would like to be around family and friends but we are struggling so its kinda a catch 22. My immediate family is scattered all over place, Mom & Bother in Ireland & sister in Spain & sister in CA.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Posted by Elbee

DH & I struggle with this decision every day. We can't come to a conclusion yet.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Well...we are sort of in option 2. Most of my closest family has moved to FL and DHs family to NC. I do have some family left here in NY but besides my Dad, I am not really close to them. Essentially we are "alone" here but living comfortably financially. So we struggle with the opposite of this situation all the time - do we give up our stability here and move to where our friends and family are?

Re: What would be more important to you??

we are leaving. At this point in my life, I am not 100% confident with the choice of being a mom with a long commute. If we were to buy here, I would have to work. If we leave I can stay at home. We make friends pretty easy. I lived in FL for a few years without family. I would visit, they would visit, I was fine with it. I have to do what is best for my immediate family, and for us it is moving.

*I am really excited because my sisters just got accepted to UNC, so if they get the scholarships they are up for, 2 of my 4 sisters will be in NC.

Re: What would be more important to you??

I relocated to LI almost 2 yrs ago, for FH job etc.. I knew nobody I miss my family so much.....we struggle here and he works 3 jobs, we decided to leave as soon as he gets a job offer upstate we are gone! Then I will be around my family and he will be leaving his family behind here.

Message edited 2/6/2006 11:12:21 AM.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Living comfortably no doubt.

You can always hop on a plane to see family. Having issues with bills is an everyday thing.

Besides... you will never be "truly alone". Moving to a new city means meeting new people and making new friends.

Re: What would be more important to you??

Re: What would be more important to you??

I think this is totally a personal choice and each answer is correct, however, for JT and I, we'd rather struggle a little to be able to live on LI near our family. We've moved and tried it in terms of making new friends and visiting family every now and then. Yes, we made friends, but no, it was not worth it in the end to be so far away from our families. In the end, all you have is your family. As far as we're concerned, there's always a means to an end. We both found better jobs and are doing what we need to so that we don't have to struggle. If you really want something, I truly believe you find a way to make it happen.