What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

I ask bc the other day I was having a conversation with two of my best guy friends, and they were so funny and all intrigued by the whole birth thing, but they had "guy" questions....like does you vagina go back to normal, did you poop....

So my advice to them was if you are ever married, and your wife has just given birth and the only chair for your husband to sit in and hold the baby while they are putting you back together, is a dead center front row seat to the repair the va-jay-jay show, DO NOT SIT IN IT. Under no circumstances do you sit in that chair.

My DH was all fine and good during the birth, watched DS be born but the chair was literally dead center at the end of me in stirrups and to this day he swears if he had to do it again, he would not sit there

He says he will never get the image of his wife being stitched back up, the placenta and the biohazard bag out of his head!

Just curious what your real life practical advice, the stuff no one ever warns you about, tips would be had you had that conversation?

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

dont bring a damn cell phone in while the wifey is giving birth.

my hubby kept texting our families because they wanted updates. i wanted to shove the phone up his nose.

OH, and DONT say "youre ok".... hubby did that too- like to try and soothe me, or keep me calm. however, i wasnt flipping out at all until he said that. i looked at him and "I AM NOT OK. YOU JUST STOP SAYING THAT". lol

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Huh... Right now, all I can think of is do not ask your wife who's contracting every 5 minutes for an hour, water broke, "ya think we can stop at 7-11 so I can get a coffee?"!!!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Advice for DH,
Have a copy of the pre-admission form & make sure your DH knows you've sent it in.

If they want you to fill out paperwork when your wife is in labor & they've just wheeled her up, BRING it with you or throw your insurance card at them & run.

(He missed the birth because they were filling out paperwork & I couldn't wait any longer)

Advice for the friend:
Sitz bath is your friend (the tub they give you to soak in after).

Ask for 2 of those spray bottles they give you if you have more than one bathroom.

Be nice to the nurses - they are the ones that will give you extra diapers, put everyone else in another room, giving you a free private room

Take the free formula even if you plan on bf'ing.

Yes, most vaginas go back to normal. I've only had 1 friend complain it was different.

Do those kegels pre-labor. Some women have issues with incontinence after (not all because I don't but all I have to do is make my sister laugh )

The trail of visitors & phone calls to your hose will stop eventually - when the novelty wears off.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

When your wife asks you to bring extra pants to the hospital.

Do NOT bring the tightest pair you can find. Bring maternity sweats/pants if you can find them. She still needs them.


I swear the pants my DH brought me, I dont even know where he found them!
I looked at them laughed and said ok, thank you.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

I would also like to add......

1)DO NOT sit on the computer at home playing solitaire while your wife is in labor on the floor contracting, and ask, are you OK? That combined with the noise of the shuffling cards is enough to drive her to kill you. Get off the computer.

Also, do not leave the L&D room literally every 2 minutes to get yourself another can of soda bc your are thirsty and tired.....really? really? YOURE thirsty and tired? Also grounds for your wife to kill you.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

do not make your wife clean up the the mess on the floor when her water breaks!!

yes, DH refused to clean up the mess when I got out of bed and my water broke (actually it was just leaking heavily) SO here I am in pain on my hands and knees wiping up the mess on our bedroom floor

bring a bunch of big granny panties to the hospital cause those paper panties that they put you in after birth do not do a thing! especially with the gigantic maxi pads that they give you! So I would also say, bring your own pads.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

make sure that if you go to the hospital for a sched c-section that they REALLY know youre there!!!

we show up at 6am. nurse tells me to get changed, puts me in a bed in the pre-op area in L&D . . . where we then sat for 1.5 hours until my OB's office called to find out why I hadnt shown up for my 8am sched section. HELLOOOOO im IN L&D!

DH then proceeded to rip the nurses a new one at the nurses station.


Let's just say the head of nursing scrubbed in for my c-section just to "make sure everything else went smooothly"

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

and one more -- if you need to call the nurses because your IV fell out and youre dripping puddles of blood on the floor . . . make sure they know to put a little pep in their step. I swear I lost a half a liter while waiting for the nurse

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

To my DH: Do not worry about catering to your family who is here from out of town leaving your wife alone the night she gives birth

Do not worry about your own comfort and sleep on the gdamn chair!



Though I do have to say my DH was awesome in other respects but these two things bothered me

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

do not have family stay at your house.

We live in Pa, family is in brooklyn. My parents and MIL were at the hospital waiting. MIL stayed over, my parents went back home. So DH was now occupied with getting his mother back to our house, fed and settled for the nite. He left me at like 8pm (DS was born at 6:30) to go bring MIL to our house. Which was only 5 min away from the hospital. He came back and stayed until 11. I really wanted him to stay overnite but i just sucked it up and said go home and deal with your mother. I mean, she didnt know where anything was, would be by herself.

U know...i really could have used DH at the hospital over nite b/c i was in so much pain from the stitches, I had a very hard time getting out of the bed and getting to the bathroom.

MIL spent the WHOLE next day (friday) at the hospital with us...then DH had to bring her back to our house, run to the NJ transit train station to get his sister and Fiance who were also staying over friday nite now. So now i have 3 pple in my house that DH has to deal with instead of being at the hospital with me.

SO now saturday morning DH is at the hospital and we have to do things before discharge..yet he was too busy shuffling his sister to stores to set the house up for me etc.

and then i had to come home to 3 guests in my house, and deal with ordering food and cleaning up after house guests.

Needless to say this was not the ideal situation for me and this will not be happening with my 2nd child.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

The first week home be prepared incase of the hormonal crash....do what ever it take to reassure your wife that she is doing great and do not make any comment that she may be a bit hormonal...

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

DEFINITELY DO NOT let family stay at your house while you are in the hospital or after you come home. ESPECIALLY IN-LAWS!

I have 10 million horror stories of my ILs staying with me! SO not worth it!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

MAKE A FREAKIN' DECISION FOR YOURSELF!!!!

When I'm contracting, in pain with a child coming out my hoo ha, I really don't give a poop about helping you decide what you should have for breakfast...ESPECIALLY when I am not allowed to eat.

Oh, and after the baby is born, make a note to MAKE A FREAKIN' DECISION FOR YOURSELF!!!! Stop asking me if or when or how...I don't care, I have enough decisions to make, I don't want to make yours!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Posted by anewday

The first week home be prepared incase of the hormonal crash....do what ever it take to reassure your wife that she is doing great and do not make any comment that she may be a bit hormonal...

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

If your wife is scheduled for a c-section, and has been battling excruciating heartburn late third trimester, do NOT on the way to the hospital, when wife has not been able to eat, drink or take heartburn meds since 8pm the night before, do NOT stop at the bagel store and get yourself a nice big tea and bagel and proceed to eat it on the way to the hospital!!!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Oh - and have your family cook meals for you, wife and baby to have when you get home from the hospital....what a Godsend!!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

when your wife's water breaks in the bathroom at home PLEASE have the floor cleaned fully when she returns from the hospital. Soaking it up with towels is only half the work. Thanks!!

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

I would tell them to warn their DH's NOT to eat in front of them. I didn't think it would bother me so much, but after 34.5 hours of labor and a stinkin' Italian ice, I wanted to take whatever he was eating/drinking and shove it really farrrrrrrr uppppppppppppppp lol

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

To the Dhs...

WHATEVER you see down there during labor and delivery should NEVER be spoken about again. Especially over dinner.

Re: What practical real life tips would you give to friends after having given birth?

The thing that frustrated me the most was the doctor and nurses repeating over and over again, "The heads right there! It's right there!" and then calling DH down to look so that he can come back up to tell me "The head is right there!". Um, thank you Captain Obvious. Don't you think I know and can feel it!