What do you do...

when you've run out of fight?
I feel like I have no fight left in me...
I feel like I'm in a hole and clawing to get out- but not getting anywhere... and I just can't figure out how to make it better.

ETA: I know this has been asked in the past, but none of my normal tactics are working today...

Message edited 2/17/2009 12:45:19 PM.

Re: What do you do...

The times when i was feeling extra sad about things I would put on a huge pair of sweats and one of Dhs shirts and just crawl in bed and sleep it off. I always woke up feeling just a little better.

Re: What do you do...

You do what you're doing by writing this post.

You look to others for support.

You know I'm here to talk if you ever want to.

Sometimes I just drive in the car and listen to music and SCREAM/sing the words while crying at the same time. You have to let out your frustration somehow. Sometimes I bake up a storm: brownies, creme brulee, chocolate molten cake, cookies, anything. Sometimes I just do nothing. I sit around, watch mindless TV, play games on the computer, eat junk. Do whatever it takes to make you feel better. Have a day, a week.. whatever to just cry and sulk and be miserable. But then dust yourself off and try to be strong again.

You've helped me so much and I wish I could do something to help you.

Hopefully you can get some more answers as to why things aren't going as planned. Hopefully you can get a plan in place that will make you feel comfortable and happy and hopeful again.

Re: What do you do...

Oh and I'm very into quotes... (if you didn't already know)

so here's one that I think is nice for you:

"Don't ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy - sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak."

ETA: Sometimes I like to just lose myself in a book. Not a "fluff" book - a really meaningful one that gets me thinking.

I really enjoy Paulo Coelho's writing. I also get a ton of inspirational quotes from his books.

Message edited 2/17/2009 12:55:38 PM.

Re: What do you do...

When I start to feel like that, I pray. I rely on my faith in God to help me get thru the next few minutes, then hours, then days.

Re: What do you do...

Shannon, I am so sorry you feel this way!!

I felt this way last year after my 3rd m/c. Truthfully, I took some "time off" from TTC. I concentrated on me, DH, seeing friends and having a life other than TTC, b/c when you get caught up in the craziness of IF, things go by the wayside, I find myself losing touch with people still now that I'm back on the rollercoaster.

I took a few months off and "refreshed" myself. And when I felt ready, 100% ready for the commitment, I went back with full steam.

It may or may not be the thing for you to do. But if you are feeling this way, don't push yourself right now. I am at work now, but call me at home tonight if you need to and I can't wait to see you tomorrow night!!!

Re: What do you do...

All of the above.

And, plan a vacation or buy a travel book for a place you'd like to go.

Sometimes it takes a big mental distraction to get off the couch. I've started doing the NYT crossword puzzles every morning -- my hands and mind are occupied.

I thought you were in the 2WW, but I may not be keeping up on every post .

Re: What do you do...

Honestly Shannon I am still struggling with this. It is a big pit to crawl out of but it does get a little easier as the days go on. I am so sorry.

Re: What do you do...

times like these you can give yourself some time (limited) to wallow. Then, put a deadline on it and force yourself to see the sun.

Do something out of your comfort zone. Rollerblade, ice skate, bungee jump..something physical and that will release endorphins and make you feel better. Ride that high while it lasts.

I do this occasionally. I let myself get bummed and do something that gets my blood going.

I'm not talking about strenuous stuff, just something to get those endorphins to release.

Re: What do you do...

I would...

Take a break from IF and concentrate on the wonderful things in my life that make me happy

Therapy. Therapy. Therapy.

Take on a new hobby (I started learning hebrew during the thick of my IF experience)

Read good, inspirational books to give me perspective (i.e. "Tuesdays with Morrie", "Eat, Pray, Love")

Spend more time with friends and family

Focus on my physical appearance - it helped me obsess about something different. I started WW, started losing weight, and felt better about myself in a different way.

Exercise - I would take an hour long walk with my Ipod during lunch.

Hang in there Shannon... we are all here for you

Re: What do you do...

In addition to what the others have said, I always buy myself flowers.

This time of year, I always get flowers or daffodils----they're a reminder that a new season is coming and it could mean positive things for me.

(Our apt usually looks like a flower shop so I must do this often!)

I'm sorry that u r feeling this way.

Re: What do you do...

Posted by ihilani
I thought you were in the 2WW, but I may not be keeping up on every post .

Re: What do you do...

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by ihilani
I thought you were in the 2WW, but I may not be keeping up on every post .

Today is 15dpo... BFN
For some idiotic reason I have to wait until Friday to get an 'official' beta, but I know by now that a PG test should show up positive if it worked...

Message edited 2/17/2009 3:22:30 PM.

Re: What do you do...

I've had plenty of these moments. Plenty, plenty. You're stronger than you think, Shannon. You'll be sad, you'll be miserable, but you'll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, start all over again.

Re: What do you do...

Posted by Blu-ize
I was afraid to ask. I'm so sorry Shannon. I thought you might be close.

You never know though. It could just be too early.

Re: What do you do...

Re: What do you do...

I wish I had words.. but i just wanted to give you

Message edited 2/17/2009 3:32:46 PM.

Re: What do you do...

First off . I felt hopeless many times going through IF and I decided to seek professional help from a therapist. It definitely helped. I also made a conscious effort to reduce stress in other parts of my life. HTH.

Re: What do you do...

Shannon, I'm sorry

Re: What do you do...

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by ihilani
I thought you were in the 2WW, but I may not be keeping up on every post .

Today is 15dpo... BFN
For some idiotic reason I have to wait until Friday to get an 'official' beta, but I know by now that a PG test should show up positive if it worked...

Re: What do you do...

Posted by LIBOUND

When I start to feel like that, I pray. I rely on my faith in God to help me get thru the next few minutes, then hours, then days.

Re: What do you do...

I struggle with the answers for this. It is up and down and when it is down, it is really down.

I am so deeply sorry for your negative.

Re: What do you do...

Posted by MrsJoeG

Honestly Shannon I am still struggling with this. It is a big pit to crawl out of but it does get a little easier as the days go on. I am so sorry.

Re: What do you do...

I'm so sorry to hear this...it is just devestating to feel like you are getting nowhere on the IF journey. In these times I really rely on DH to get me through. His drive becomes my drive b/c he is driven by knwoing how badly I want this and what I'm willing to do to get it. I agree to take some time for yourself, maybe even a break for a while, and see where your heart leads you!!


Shawnna

Re: What do you do...

I'm so sorry Shannon. I don't really have any advice - as you know I took nearly a year off because I couldn't handle it after a while. It WILL get better. I'm here if you need anything.