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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Wedding Invitation etiquette question
My cousin is getting married in May on the beach in the Outer Banks, NC and is asking me how she should word this (if at all) on her invitations or how she should get her point across without offending anyone.
"Reception is adult only, no children please."
"Dress is resort casual, no denim please."
I know your thinking "who wears denim to a wedding??", but we are from the South and while I don't think anyone would, she is concerned there may be an uncle or two that may need to be reminded.
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Posted 1/21/13 11:20 AM  |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
I always thought it was implied that only the people on the envelope were invited but at my wedding we had a number of people reply with several young kids, and even babies. I've seen people write something like "Adult reception to follow" written on the invitation.
I wouldn't write "No..." that just seems kinda tacky.
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:29 AM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by Jbon630
I always thought it was implied that only the people on the envelope were invited but at my wedding we had a number of people reply with several young kids, and even babies. I've seen people write something like "Adult reception to follow" written on the invitation.
I wouldn't write "No..." that just seems kinda tacky.
Thank you! I personally dont think she should say anything about the "dress code" but shes insistent. I think thats something we can spread word of mouth to those she is concerned about.
I like simply writing "Adult reception to follow" much better than "No kids" as well.
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:32 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
I think stating the dress code is acceptable and non-offensive (I went to a wedding upstate that we all thought was going to be much more dressy than it was. I would have loved the heads up to just wear a sun dress!) but I'm not as sure about saying "no kids".
The fact that the family is from the South further complicates things IMO. Are most of the guests from the south? I think I would try to get opinions from people in that area since it's VERY different from NY, as I'm sure you're well aware. 
From what I understand it's fairly uncommon to have a childless wedding down south, but I could be wrong. I'm also thinking that if people are traveling to a destination it might be hard to leave kids behind. That is a tough one. Like I said, I would want opinions of people from that area. Nowhere else does weddings like NY!
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:34 AM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
As far as dress code I'd just put resort casual in the bottom corner as you would, black tie/black tie optional. I personally wouldn't address it on an invite, but if you must I'd put Adult only reception on either the reception card or on the bottom opposite corer of the dress code note.
ETA: I see nothing wrong with addressing dress code on an invite, most invites I receive say something to the effect of dress code. I wouldn't put "No Denim" on it though.
Message edited 1/21/2013 11:36:09 AM.
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:34 AM |
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Tulips915
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Member since 8/08 6851 total posts
Name:
Me
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Wedding Invitation etiquette question
I would write adult only reception and dress is resort casual (leave out the jeans part).
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:36 AM |
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MrsM429
Mama x2 <3
Member since 12/10 4946 total posts
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by Jbon630
I always thought it was implied that only the people on the envelope were invited but at my wedding we had a number of people reply with several young kids, and even babies. I've seen people write something like "Adult reception to follow" written on the invitation.
This is what I had printed on the bottom of my invitations. We have a ton of friends with children so we needed something like that written out.
Also if she really wants to notify her guests about the dress code, I've seen some RSVP cards say "dressy casual attire" or "semi-formal attire". It's a polite way to put it
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:38 AM |
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PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!
Member since 4/07 5923 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Beach resort casual might be a better way than saying no jeans. You still might have some in jeans and if its only one or two people thats fine. This coming from someone who jad a guest in jeans at my formal reception And adults only reception for the no kids.
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:41 AM |
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MrsM429
Mama x2 <3
Member since 12/10 4946 total posts
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by PaddysGirl
This coming from someone who jad a guest in jeans at my formal reception And adults only reception for the no kids.
I did to- my DHs brother nonetheless lol.
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| Posted 1/21/13 11:44 AM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by Tulips915
I would write adult only reception and dress is resort casual (leave out the jeans part).
I agree, this sounds like the best way to get her points across without offending anyone.
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| Posted 1/21/13 12:26 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Hmmm I definitely think "adults only" is much, much better than using the word no.
The dress code is a sticky thing...personally, I wouldn't say anything at all.
Also, if I received an invitation that said "beach resort casual," I would literally have no idea what this means.
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| Posted 1/21/13 1:41 PM |
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Jbon630
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 1340 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by JAAMS
Hmmm I definitely think "adults only" is much, much better than using the word no.
The dress code is a sticky thing...personally, I wouldn't say anything at all.
Also, if I received an invitation that said "beach resort casual," I would literally have no idea what this means.
me too for the beach resort casual lol
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| Posted 1/21/13 1:47 PM |
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adeline27
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 3121 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by Jbon630
Posted by JAAMS
Hmmm I definitely think "adults only" is much, much better than using the word no.
The dress code is a sticky thing...personally, I wouldn't say anything at all.
Also, if I received an invitation that said "beach resort casual," I would literally have no idea what this means.
me too for the beach resort casual lol
I agree she will confuse everyone. I don't think she should write anything at all. If she is going to have response cards just write adult only affair somewhere there. It should not be on the invite. The RSVP card and outer envelope where you would not include family is enough IMO word will get around too so don't forget that. You will probably see more flip flops than jeans. In the end she has to take it in that people might show up still with their kids and might have someone underdressed. I just wouldn't kill a beautiful invite with bunch of "rules".
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| Posted 1/21/13 3:50 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
theres a few ways I've seen my customers do this.
1) on the bottom of the invite or the reception card if she is including one, it says "adult reception"
2)on the reply card I've had customers preprint the # of seats reserved for them.
So it would say 2 (or whatever #) seats have been reserved in your honor.
___accepts ______regrets
3) on the envelope being mailed, only the people invited should be listed. No and families.
(however if this is a destination wedding and people are bringing kids, but just not to the festivities, then you might be better off using option 2.)
The dress code should be listed on whatever travel information or weekend card she is including with the invitation.
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| Posted 1/21/13 7:38 PM |
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PregowithTwins
My boys turned 8
Member since 5/11 2451 total posts
Name:
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Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Can you send out SAVE THE DATE CARDS & include all this stuff. Then the invite can be more formal
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| Posted 1/21/13 7:43 PM |
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rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
"adult reception" always makes me laugh. It sounds kinky to me...like adult films, or adult store.
The truth is that even that won't stop some people from trying to bring their kids. I would just do it the old-fashioned way and address the inner envelope to the grown-ups. I also like the "____seats have been reserved in your honor" approach. We put the dress-code on the website.
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| Posted 1/21/13 8:30 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
I think resort casual in going to imply flip flops and tan shorts.
My Dh is from the south and I have seen people show up to weddings in jeans and flip flops.
Maybe casual dressy attire or something that would imply no jeans.
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| Posted 1/22/13 6:41 AM |
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
I would do an insert in the card, stating Adult Only Reception and Semi-formal dress.
I too would be  about some of the other dress descriptions.
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| Posted 1/22/13 6:46 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wedding Invitation etiquette question
Posted by Peainapod
theres a few ways I've seen my customers do this.
1) on the bottom of the invite or the reception card if she is including one, it says "adult reception"
2)on the reply card I've had customers preprint the # of seats reserved for them.
So it would say 2 (or whatever #) seats have been reserved in your honor.
___accepts ______regrets
3) on the envelope being mailed, only the people invited should be listed. No and families.
(however if this is a destination wedding and people are bringing kids, but just not to the festivities, then you might be better off using option 2.)
The dress code should be listed on whatever travel information or weekend card she is including with the invitation.
i did option one and two.
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| Posted 1/22/13 8:46 AM |
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