was i justified??Be honest

Ok so my dh went out for a few drinks after work at 8 he calls and says i have half a beer left and i am leaving. i wake up at 11 and he isnt home after calling his phone a millions times i called his friend( somone i know very well) and his friend answers and eventually my dh got oon the phone FURIOUS at me for callig his friend. I explained that the weather beign what it is and the fact that THREE hours ago he said i am laving made me panic and i did try his phone a bunch of times i thouht he was dead someewhere so now this is going to be MAJOR fight in fact i am thinking about goin to moms tomorrow night because he is going out again ( this is plans he already had made last week) tonights outing was spur of the momnent. be honest shoudl i have been mad? upset? called his friend?

Re: was i justified??Be honest

honestly, I would've done the same exact thing you did. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's what I would've done.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I would have done the same thing too!!!

A half a beer does not equal over three hours!!!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Yes you have every right to be upset, and mad and yes i too would have called his friend. I have done the same thing in the past. They just dont think. They dont realize when they say they'll be home at a certain time and aren't we start freaking out thinking they are God forbid hurt. Or if they go out for a few beers that they got pulled over and they're in jail or something.

Then they try to turn it around and be mad at us. I dont get them sometimes. But you are totally justified in your anger. Dont back down!!!!!! Good luck!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Posted by Shorty

honestly, I would've done the same exact thing you did. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's what I would've done.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Stop worrying!!!!!!!

I told you....you did what anyone would have done! Stop beating yourself up about it RIGHT NOW! You were worried and he basically lied to you about when he was coming home. You were NOT WRONG!

It will blow over...thank goodness hes ok and you are sooo justified in your actions!

Love ya!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Posted by nycchic24

Stop worrying!!!!!!!

I told you....you did what anyone would have done! Stop beating yourself up about it RIGHT NOW! You were worried and he basically lied to you about when he was coming home. You were NOT WRONG!

It will blow over...thank goodness hes ok and you are sooo justified in your actions!

Love ya!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I agree with everyone, you were NOT wrong in this

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I would've locked the bedroom door when I heard the car pull in.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

You were not wrong at all. If your husband can't undertsand why you would worry and be concerned like that then he is just silly.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I would have done the the same thing..it was wrong for him not to call you back and tell you that he was going to be later than he expected

Re: was i justified??Be honest

You were not wrong at all. I would've been worried too and would have done the same thing.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

You were frantically worrying. You are absolutely justified in calling his friend. In my opinion, he owes you an apology for going off on you like that.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Posted by Shorty

honestly, I would've done the same exact thing you did. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's what I would've done.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I agree with the girls.... but one thing I wanted to add is that I can't believe that he's trying to turn HIS inconsiderateness on you. That's not fair, and he shouldn't get away with that. There are consequences... and if he says he's on his way home @ 8, and no sign of him @ 11, all types are calls are merited!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Posted by Scotty-CassidysMom

Posted by Shorty

honestly, I would've done the same exact thing you did. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's what I would've done.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this

I agree 1000000%.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

YES! I would have been very worried and really mad too (once I knew he was OK). I would have done the same thing you did. He has to realize that he's married now, it's not just about him. He has a wife he has to think of. he shuldn't have been mad - he should have been home and/or answering his cell phone.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I have come to the conclusion that guys don't realize that we listen to what they say. We take their words literally- especially me.

I would have done the exact same thing! In fact, I did. Dh was working late wiht his boss in Syosset (we live in the city) and said he would be home by 1:00 am. Well its 3:00 am and no call, no sign, nothing. So I of course assume he is in a car accident and unconscious and can't reach me so I call his boss's house at 7 am (he had kids, I didn't want to call at 3 am). But of course DH was at his boss' house (which was not unusual), sleeping, because it was snowing and he didn't want to drive home so late. He didn't call because he knew I would be sleeping and didn't want to wake me up. Boys just don't think sometimes!!


Your DH did several things that were wrong: (1) he never called to tell you he was coming home later than expected (2) got mad at you for calling his friend and (3) it sounds like he got mad at you IN FRONT of his friend- he should have waited until he got home and confronted you privately. You should explain to him that you worry about him and when he says he will be home in a certain time, you expect him home at that time. If somethign changes, he should call you.

Sorry you are going through this

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Posted by MrsJ

YES! I would have been very worried and really mad too (once I knew he was OK). I would have done the same thing you did. He has to realize that he's married now, it's not just about him. He has a wife he has to think of. he shuldn't have been mad - he should have been home and/or answering his cell phone.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Thanks everyone my Dh is thick as you know what and will never apoligize. however i did email his friedn to apoligize and got a very nice email back saying not to worry abou it he understnds.. My dh told me i ask him to many questions when he goes out like whose going, when you coming home, dont drink to muvch.. he says i treat him like he is a teenager and it has to stop. Not sayimg he wont say who he is out with but he says teh way i ask is not conversationally its like i am interogating him.. UGHHH I really cant take him sometimes.

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I think you're 100% justified. if he was going to be late, he should ahve called, he should ahve answered his phone, and you had a right and a need to know that he was safe!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

I agree with your actions but would like to add try giving him a taste of his own medicine not to punish him but to make him feel that fear you felt ... then maybe next time he will be a little more considerate

Re: was i justified??Be honest

i would have done the same thing!

Re: was i justified??Be honest

Re: was i justified??Be honest

i think what you did was fine.