**UPDATED** If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I had all of my final appointments today and its been a lot to take in! Due to the placenta previa and my congenital heart defect, the anesthesia department seems to be erring on the side of caution and might put me under general for the CS. Due to that, my OB told me I might not be able to see LO for 24-48 hours. She said I could pump and they would give her the breast milk. I have been so sad about this- I can't imagine not being able to see her. Has anyone else not been able to see their LO after birth? Do you still feel you were able to bond? I'm so heartbroken thinking I'm going to miss this early time with her. Anyone willing to share their experience, would be really appreciated! Thank you!

Message edited 11/28/2013 5:05:21 PM.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I didn't go 24-48, more like 4 hrs, but it felt like a lifetime.

You'll miss it, I'm not going to lie to you, and you will probably feel jipped, but you won't miss any type of bonding experience.

Once you get that tiny little love bundle, it'll be like you were never apart.

You'll manage. I'm sorry you may have to go through this, just keep preparing yourself.

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

my friend had quads...yes 4 of them! and they came at about 30 weeks. she didn't get to hold them for weeks. the closest they got was a pinky in the incubator. now they're 3 and have an incredible bond.

it's going to suck and hurt that you can't hurt your baby, but i promise it will have no affect on your bond.

Message edited 11/19/2013 4:27:32 PM.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

mine was more like a few hours or plus but it is so hard! no advice, just that... it doesn't mess up your bonding at all. It made me resent my DH a little, considering I had to carry and take care of her for 9 months and he got to hold her first and enjoy those moments... but lol... we both have a good relationship with her and I just don't dwell on that time. You have the rest of your life with lo and that's what you need to focus on.

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Don't worry about the bonding. Not to make light of your situation - I know its totally different but think about all the children that are adopted. We didn't meet our son until he was 18mo. old. We have an incredible bond.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Yes..my twins were 3 days old when I got to see them. I am not going to lie it wasn't the easiest thing but in the end it was what was best for them and me.
When I fist saw them it took a bit for it to sink in that they were mine but I will never forget the moment I first held them. Regardless if it is 2 minutes after your dc is born or 3 days it is still a special moment that you will never forget

Eta: fm me if you need to talk I too under general anesthesia

Message edited 11/19/2013 6:29:29 PM.

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

IMO I would do whatever my dr said was in the best interest in the health of me and my baby. If that meant not seeing my baby then that's what it would be.

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I felt the same as you, and that was one of the reasons I was so upset when I had to have my emergency c/s. I didn't get knocked out, but I can tell you that I was so drugged up that I couldn't even properly assess what happened. DS ended up being hypoglycemic and spending a couple of days in the nicu after birth, where he had to be given formula. I was so afraid that he would never breast feed because of it. I pumped and my DH brought him the breast milk the first two days, and then when I finally got a chance to introduce him to the breast it was hard, not going to lie. We had many lactation nurses come in (not all were as helpful but the last woman was amazing) and he became a pro. He bf for a year. And the bond is there.

I wish you luck and so much joy. It's overwhelming but trust me, it's worth it in the end.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

My oldest was born prematurely and was taken to the NICU right after birth. I saw her for half a second before they took her down. Yes it was hard. But she knew who I was When they finally wheeled me in to see her, I said "hi baby, it's mommy" and she tried to turn her head to see me. So the whole "you don't bond" idea is false, IMO.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I'm all about natural birth etc, but this is a different situation. You want to be healthy to be the best mom to your child for the rest of her life, not just the first day or two.

Can't they bring the baby to you if she's healthy? Why could you net see her for 3 days?

As far as nursing, as soon as your awake, as for a pump and pump every 2 hours, around the clock. If you don't do anything for 3 days it will be hard to establish a full milk supply.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

Thank you so much for the honest posts. I'm glad to see so many of you were still able to breastfeed/pump. If I end up having to do formula because that's what is best for her, I have no problem with that. I just want to be able to at least try if I can. Thank you for the tips about pumping.

jax1023- They said they can bring the baby to CCU (where I will be) but only if they have enough staff (a nurse from maternity would have to bring her and stay with her in CCU) and also, my OB pointed out you don't want her in CCU for long periods of time because there are sick people on the floor. I asked if they could wheel me down to her and they said probably not the first 24 hours because I will be monitored so closely.

I really appreciate you all sharing your experiences. I think it just really hit me today and I've been emotional about it. I know in the end that as long as she is OK and I am OK, the time won't matter. I just have to keep preparing myself for it. Thanks again!!

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I didn't see my DS till about 18 hours after he was born because I was recovering from an emergency C and he was in the NICU. It was very tough given I'd had a very long and painful labor leading up to that, and I was physically and emotionally spent. I worried A LIT about bonding and breastfeeding...I psyched myself out and worried for no reason. If you don't do that and try to be calm and positive about the situation you'll be fine! Good luck!

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I had a normal pregnancy and delivery. After DD was born they were cleaning her up and everything was normal. But then for some reason they couldnt get me to stop bleeding. They rushed me into OR leaving DH w DD. i woke up a few hours later in ICU w a breathing tube down my throat. Too long and traumatizing to explain, but the gist of the story is i didnt get to see or hold DD for 2 days. Even then i was too weak to be allowed to hold her alone. I couldnt even lift her out of the hospital bassinet. I wont lie to you it was heartbreaking. I never went thru any of that w my DS and was so looking fwd to the bonding time and snuggling. I feel like i was robbed of it and part of me is still angry about it 15 months later. But all that really matters is that my DD is perfect and i breath in every hug and kiss that i can. Because honestly im just glad i lived thru it to be w her.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I had preeclampsia when ds was born, they had me on magnesium stuff to prevent seizure and i felt like crap... he was wisked to ICU and I didn't get down there to see him for like 20 hours...

honestly, I felt so crappy I didn't pump til day 2... There was plenty of time for bonding. NICU recommends skin to skin bonding (shirtless for baby and parent) and it seemed to help.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

My twins were born at 30 w and I didnt get to see them for 12 hours after a normal delivery. I only got to see them for 5 min the first time (not hold them) and 5 min the second time a few hours later.. Baby B was then taken to a different hospital for surgery. I held baby A after that. and Baby B a few days later.

They are 2 and have no questions about who their Mommy is. Yes, it was difficult. Yes, it was best for them. It was my first of many lessons in Mommy sacrifice.

If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

My little guy went right to NICU, I saw him for 5 min on my way back to my room. He was already all hooked up to monitors and oxygen so I couldn't hold him. Didn't hold him for 4 days.

I ended up not pumping (Hurricane Sandy disaster...too much to explain) and we bonded just fine when I did hold him. We have no issues today! He is such a Momma's boy!

It is difficult, but necessary! All will be ok!

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I had my c/s at almost midnight. I was pretty out of it throughout. I remember them bringing each baby to me to see, but then I was out again. One baby went to the NICU. By the time I got into the room it was 2:30 and they asked if I wanted them to bring my baby from the nursery to see quick. I was so nauseas and out of it and DH had just left so I declined. I saw her the next am, but due to bleeding and them keeping my cathater in longer, by the time I was able to get someone to help me up to get dressed, it was 9pm the next night that I got to see my other DD. So almost 24 hrs. It was hard mostly b/c I felt guilty being with one the whole day and not getting to see the other.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

DD was born 3 weeks early via c/section. The team of Drs in the OR were concerned with her breathing and said they were taking her to NICU. I saw her for 30 seconds before they took her.

DD was born around 6pm (I honestly can't recall the exact time right now).

I delivered in LIJ-New Hyde Park (Sept 2012) and the NICU is in the Cohen's Children's Hospital. I did not get to see her until the next afternoon. DH was able to go see her that evening, but I wasn't - due to having just had the c/s.

I wouldn't say it effecting bonding at all. I was given the option to pump - but I had chosen not to BF.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

I wasn't able to see my DD for almost 24 hours in 2 12 hour spurts. It was a little different for me because I don't remember anything for the first 12 hours after the baby was born. The second 12 hours was mostly overnight and I slept for most of it so it wasn't so bad. DD got to spend time with DH and other family members while I was in recovery and banned from baby.
I think it was harder on me than it was on DD.

Re: If you couldn't be with baby after birth......

My friend was under general for a c-section and they let her see the baby as soon as she was up. In your case, I'm pretty sure that the nurses will be understanding and bring her up to you in the CCU as soon as you're awake. I found that the nurses on the baby unit were more sensitive than other nurses and I think they will totally be understanding that you will want to be with your baby, so try not to stress too much.

Your husband and family will also be able to bring you pics to help you through the first day or 2. It will be tough, but I've said it before - keep your eye on the prize - getting to bring home a healthy baby! I'm not trying to make light of your situation b/c I know it's going to be hard on you, but many people have to deal with a lot worse than just being separated, so just try to keep perspective.

As for the BF, most women's milk don't come in until after they leave the hospital anyway. Just pump to get the colostrum and get things going for your LO.