UPDATE in 1st post: Bad news...

Posted By

Message

Pages: [1] 2 3

MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07

7254 total posts

Name:

UPDATE in 1st post: Bad news...

my dr is cancelling my IUI Chat Icon He's 99.9% sure he is anyway. He told me I have too many follicles that would trigger (at least 15) and that it's too much of a risk that he's not willing to take. He said he doesn't want to see me on CNN having the first octuplets in NY thru IUI.
I'm heartbroken right now. I've been crying since he told me. I just broke down in his office, I couldn't control myself. He feels terrible and I feel bad that I made him feel even worse now, but I couldn't find the strength to hold it in.
I asked him about converting my IUI cycle to IVF and he said he can't because he doesn't have a lab. I guess it's too late to make arrangements w/ the lab they use- but they don't have their own on premises. Chat Icon
Thank you for your good wishes. I don't know that I'll be on here anymore today... I'll try once I find some strength but right now I just don't have any...

UPDATE:
Thanks everyone Your responses have me sitting here crying. I am still amazed at the compassion and caring on our board. You all give me strength, even when I can't find it.

After I typed my post yesterday my dad called to tell me that my mom wasn't feeling right and they were taking her to the hospital in FL (they're there on vacation). She was in there for about 6 hours and they released her. I spoke w/ her yesterday afternoon and she sounded weak, but ok. They gave her 2 antibiotics and potassium pills- and said that her potassium was at a critically low level Chat Icon

It made yesterday twice as bad for me- because I had 2 major events to be sad/worry about, but it also made me step back and be grateful for what I do have. When I spoke to my mom yesterday afternoon she sounded heartbroken for me. I broke down on the phone w/ her and I guess she just couldn't handle being so far away from me and watching me suffer and not being able to fix it, but that's become all too common for us, while dealing w/ IF.
I called my insurance and found out that I have 0 coverage for IVF. Even though the meds, sonograms and bloodwork are covered for IUI, they aren't covered for IVF which I just can't understand. Why can't I just pay for the procedure and everything else myself but up until that point have it be covered like it would be for IUI? It's so annoying Chat Icon
I called fertility lifelines yesterday and spoke with a clinician for a little while and we talked about everything that had happened, and she agreed that my dr was doing the right thing, which I know. I felt somewhat better after getting off the phone with her.

I had actually called because they offer a service (which I think is free) to help you determine your insurance benefits and I wanted to double check that I wasn't asking my insurance co the wrong questions and see if they came up w/ any different answers than I got. I'm still waiting for a call back though.
Last night DH took me back out to our favorite japanese restaurant. We picked up my BIL b/c we had plans to hang out w/ him already which we almost never do and even though I didn't want to go, DH thought it best to get me out of the house so off we went. I don't know what I'd do w/o him.
Chat Icon Then we went bowling and had as much fun as I think I could've had last night, though I had a heavy heart all night and kept tearing up and crying while I was sitting there. We shared a little bit w/ my BIL who was really concerned and told me how sorry he was that I had to go thru this.

I am glad that I'm a good responder to this... and those of you who said that, thank you. I know you're right- it just doesn't change that it's another level up (or down?) on the ladder of IF... and I was hoping that I could stop climbing. I'm just so nervous that next time I have to do this that it's not going to work the same... and it'll just be another waste, only this time at a large $$$ expense to us. I know I shouldnt think that way, but I am right now. I've just become used to disappointment. I feel like if I prepare for the worst then I'm not taken by surprise, and if I get a BFP then that'll be a miracle!
I called my dr and confirmed that if we go thru w/ IVF that it'll be the same meds (lupron, gonal-f and ovidrel). Then I called my mail order co and ordered the gonal-f and lupron refills that I had for my next IUI if this didn't work (or in case I needed more meds). I figured this way I won't be paying out of pocket for them at least.

DH has watched me suffer enough. We've had too many debates about going against God, etc... and I think I've finally gotten it in his head that (IMO) I could stand on my head backwards and not get PG if it's not God's will... so he's agreed to do IVF Chat Icon I don't know where we're going to come up w/ the money for this, but it's a start, right? we've come a LONG way for him to agree to this and I'm still shocked, but so relieved. The worst part of yesterday was thinking if IVF wasn't an option, then we were done.,, I'm just hoping that he doesn't change his mind once he realizes what's what w/ IVF. Only time will tell though, right....
Thank you so much again everyone Chat Icon I couldn't still be dealing with this without all of you.
Also, those of you who FMd me, thank you so much! I will respond to all of them soon, if I haven't already.

Message edited 4/25/2008 8:51:55 AM.

Posted 4/24/08 11:01 AM