Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

So I told our sitter this morning that we will not be using her for the upcoming school year (I'm a teacher ). I'm giving her 6 months notice.

She got all upset and told me that she was annoyed and that she didn't expect this from me. I told her that she cared for our son amazingly for the past year and a half, but it's time(in SEPTEMBER) that he start socializing more. Right now, he's with a 6-month old and another boy that's 3 months older than him. She went on to say to say that she was going to sit me down in a few weeks and tell me that she would like a raise for next year. This would bring up the monthly cost from $1300 to a little over $1500 and she wants to get paid for vacations from school, sick days and snow days. There's NO way we could even afford that. I kept telling her that it was not personal and we'd recommend her in a heartbeat to anyone looking. Again - I'm giving her 6 months notice, not 2 weeks. I told her this early because I wanted to give her time to find someone else. I think it was more than fair.

The daycare that he'll be going to next year is right in my building and is $300 cheaper per month. There's 15 other kids total and it's really structured - it's run through SCOPE.

I left her house very upset this morning. I don't want to have knots in my stomach every time I drop of and pickup for the next 6 momths. Now I'm questioning if we should pull him from now and put him in my building from now. I'm going to talk to her this afternoon and see how it goes from there. I already spoke to the daycare director and there's room for him if I want to make the move.

If you were in my situation, what would you do? DH and I are doing everything we can to cut costs in our every day life. This would be a huge savings as well. I do not have a contract with her. There would be a 2 week waiting "application" period if we did decide to do this.

So - WWYD?

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

if you honestly think that this news will change the way she cares for your son, pull him.

that is HER fault. she could have thanked you for the advanced notice and start looking for another child to watch.

instead she tells you she was going to ask you for MORE money and left you with an ill-at-ease feeling.

hell no.

talk to her again and if things don't feel kosher, pull him, and tell her why.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Ugh! Honestly, if it were me- and she reacted that way- AND it was going to save us money, I would pull him now. What do you have to lose?

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would do what is best for you. I would move DC to the cheaper day care asap to save money. I am sure she will get over it.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would pull him now..Honestly I would be really ****** off that you told her in a very nice manner that you wont be using her anymore and she proceeds to tell you that she is upset cause she was going to ask you for a raise Um no

jmo I would pull him now (if you can)

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

First off I think that's great what you're doing. She should NOT give you a guilt trip. You gave her 6 months. That is MORE than enough time. You HAVE TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR JAMES and of course you and DH.

Talk to her in the afternoon when you pick him up and if she's still giving you a guilt trip and crying about it then I'd pull him sooner. You did think of her first and if she doesn't get it then so be it. Maybe her reaction was b/c of the shock and hopefully she'll think more clearly in the afternoon as the day progresses

BTW... Mason is in a great, structured daycare. He's with a class of 10 kids all his age and he's doing GREAT! I love hearing the songs they do, the artwork he brings home, and just coming in a little early to watch him interact with the teachers. They LOVE him. best part is it's half the price then what I paid for in LI.
You're doing the right thing. If the 6 months works out then great. If she still makes you nervous and you feel uncomfortable dropping off James then take him out sooner

On a side note... TOTALLY MISS YOU HUN

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would move him now. Her reaction would make me uneasy and I'd be worried every day. You need to think of your son and your family. What are the benefits of leaving him there?

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

ITA with everyone else. she should be grateful you gave her that much notice instead of being greedy. but see how you feel today and if you think theres a problem (and you can get someone to cover during the 2 week wait period) pull him. or if you cant find anyone id tell the daycare to add you to the list for a spot asap and just pull him when it opens.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would see how she is when you pick him up. If she hasn't changed her attitude from this morning, then I wouldn't think twice about pulling him now.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I think you are going to have to wait to make that decision until you talk to her later today...

Give her the day to digest this and see what she has to say this afternoon...

If she's still annoyed I might be pushed to make the switch sooner rather than later....

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Posted by Ophelia

if you honestly think that this news will change the way she cares for your son, pull him.

that is HER fault. she could have thanked you for the advanced notice and start looking for another child to watch.

instead she tells you she was going to ask you for MORE money and left you with an ill-at-ease feeling.

hell no.

talk to her again and if things don't feel kosher, pull him, and tell her why.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I'm sorry I'm just not even getting why she told you she wanted to raise her rate AFTER you said you'd be pulling him, it seems like a moot conversation??? This makes me think she's FLAKY. I'd be tempted to go back this afternoon, give her 2 weeks notice and pull him ASAP to get him into the other daycare - due to the cost savings AND the flake factor.

Listen you're doing what's right for James, whether he starts now or six months from now. This woman is a SERVICE PROVIDER and needs to learn her role - she doesn't get to decide when the babies move on, the PARENTS DO. With or without an explanation. I'm irritated she gave you any guff, I presume she wouldn't act differently toward DS but if you have even an inkling of doubt about that there's NO debate in my mind!!!!!

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Posted by BethanyLynn

Posted by Ophelia

if you honestly think that this news will change the way she cares for your son, pull him.

that is HER fault. she could have thanked you for the advanced notice and start looking for another child to watch.

instead she tells you she was going to ask you for MORE money and left you with an ill-at-ease feeling.

hell no.

talk to her again and if things don't feel kosher, pull him, and tell her why.

This. Exactly!

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would pull him right now, and I really do understand how hurt you feel. You absolutely did the right thing, she's being nasty.

Message edited 1/18/2011 1:28:37 PM.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would pull him now and start him in your building. I don't like the way that she handled it.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Posted by nov04libride

Posted by BethanyLynn

Posted by Ophelia

if you honestly think that this news will change the way she cares for your son, pull him.

that is HER fault. she could have thanked you for the advanced notice and start looking for another child to watch.

instead she tells you she was going to ask you for MORE money and left you with an ill-at-ease feeling.

hell no.

talk to her again and if things don't feel kosher, pull him, and tell her why.

This. Exactly!

ITA too. It stinks, but you don't want to be thinking of her being anything less and amazing with James, and if she was so upset this morning, I could see it interfering w/ how she treats him.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would have a part 2 to the conversation. See how the news has set in. Her initial reaction, although inappropriate, may have just been due to "shock." After you speak w/ her again, if u think she may change how she cares for your son now, pull him now!

I think giving 6 months notice was wayyyy more than you needed to do and she should understand that.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Posted by Ophelia

if you honestly think that this news will change the way she cares for your son, pull him.

that is HER fault. she could have thanked you for the advanced notice and start looking for another child to watch.

instead she tells you she was going to ask you for MORE money and left you with an ill-at-ease feeling.

hell no.

talk to her again and if things don't feel kosher, pull him, and tell her why.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

What she SHOULD have said: "Oh no! I am going to miss taking care of him, but I understand."

But, she didn't, so....

What she SHOULD say when you pick him up later: "I am sorry for my reaction earlier today, I was taken off guard. I had it in my head that I would be watching him again next year, and had already planned to talk to you about a raise, and didnt know how to react when you told me you were putting him somewhere else next year. I am going to miss him, and you. I do hope that you would be willing to give me a recommendation if I need one."

If she does not have that conversation with you, and is still nasty... then I would pull him NOW.

Message edited 1/18/2011 2:13:45 PM.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Thank you so much girls! Does anyone want to come to Levittown and have this convo for me?

I do think that she'll apologize this afternoon. I hope, anyway. If I am still uneasy, DH and I will have to figure something out. I'm sure the director can work something out for me so that he gets in to the new daycare sooner rahter than later.

I'm sick about this. Hopefully needlessly.

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

I would pull him now. I think that will work for the best... short-term and long-term.

Good luck!

Re: Ughhhhhhhhhh - what to do... what to do.....

Wow!!! I am so surprised by her reaction!!! I do daycare in my home and unfortunately things don't always last forever whether it be a change in financial situation or a change in the family. I never expect to have the same kids to watch forever and I would be MORE than grateful if someone were to give me SIX MONTHS notice!! That's pretty awesome!! I've always gotten 2 weeks. Six months is A LOT of time to line up someone else.

I get that she may be disappointed, I was too when I lost the kids I had, but it happens and the proper reaction is to be understanding and gracious. Personally, I would now consider switching your LO sooner. And your babysitter will learn an important lesson, never bite the hand that feeds you.