Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

DD will be 2 in a few weeks. She is driving me crazy.

She doesn't listen to anything and laughs at me when I yell, put her in time out even when I gave her a little smack on the tush.

I don't know what to do! She has no remorse. Even when she fights with my niece (hits, bites, pinches, whatever) she just laughs about it.

I can't take much more!

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

How are you doing time out?

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

I set a timer for 2 minutes and hold her down

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

Time-outs didn't really make an impact on my DS until he was closer to 3. I put him in a boring room (dining room) and set the timer. He is 4 now and they still work well.

When he was 18 months and up to about 3,, I used "toy time out" instead. If he misbehaved, I took a beloved toy away and put it high up in a place where he could see it, but not reach it. He screamed bloody murder and I would repeat whatever the offense was "no hitting, etc". It was very effective.

For food throwing and other kitchen table offenses, I used high chair time out. I wheeled the chair to a corner of the kitchen and he faced the wall for two minutes. My Mom came up with that one. A friend of mine actually strapped her toddler in a high chair for timeout, rather than holding him down.

Good luck!!! It is hard and we've all been there. We just need to find what works.

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

It's tough and we're dealing with that right now. I hate the mother I feel I have to be to make her understand when something is really bad. Em doesn't react to timeout or redirection sometimes. If she is hurting Saw or going to harm herself like REALLY harm herslef I VERY sternly and almost meanly say No that is NOT ok and put her on the ground or pull her off the furniture. I have only had to do this 2 times and both times I had no other choice but to re-enforce it was a VERY bad thing to do. She hates being talked to meanly and sternly so for us that's all that works

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

How does she react to you holding her down? She may think its a game. Maybe try the Super Nanny version of time out. Put her in her time out spot and dont start the timer until she actually sits down on her own. Keep putting her back if she gets up and restarting the timer. It may take a long time the first few times but she will get it.

As an alternative to time outs have you tried taking away a favorite toy or activity or just withhold attention and tell her you sad because she did x? Different things work for different kids.

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

My advice would be to really limit your reaction, meaning, try not to yell or smack her tush. At that age, any reaction and any attention is welcome and they feed off of it. I know it's hard but the calmer you are and the less you react the less she will be inclined to continue on misbehaving because she isn't get the reaction from you she is looking for. She also has to know there will be consequences, whether it's removing her from her friends, leaving a place, taking away a toy, or a time out. And you have to follow through and be consistent EVERY time, that is the most important thing.

If she does something wrong, instead of yelling, simply tell her in a calm voice what you expect from her then walk away and ignore the behavior. (unless she is hurting someone then remove her from the situation and ignore her) When you do time outs, make sure she knows that you're not afraid of sticking her in a time out anywhere and anyplace. And don't engage her at all while she's in a TO other than to put her back if she gets up.

If she is misbehaving when you're not at home you have to address the behavior in that moment and not wait until you get home. If she pitches a fit in Target, as an example, find a spot out of the way and put her right into a time out right then and there. She needs to understand that every time she misbehaves there will be an IMMEDIATE consequence.

My DD is 3.5 now and in all honesty, and this is NOT to be brag AT ALL, she is so well behaved no matter where we are or what situation we are in. But we made her that way!! lol She went through a phase (around your DD's age) where she "tried" to start in with the tantrums and the misbehaving but DH and I were ALL over that and cut her off at the pass. I can count on one hand how many tantrums she "tried" to throw and how many TO's we needed to do.

The second she did anything wrong I would always stop her in her tracks and tell her in a calm voice how I expected her to behave and then I would walk away. If she continued, I flat out ignored her except to give her a warning to get herself together and if she continued she went right into TO. After her 2-3 minutes she apologized and went about her day without issue.

We NEVER engaged her or let her see us frustrated. We always wanted to keep the upper hand, so to speak. I know not every child is the same and I know some kids are a lot more difficult then others but my DD really responded well to a calm voice, us ignoring the behavior, and TO's. It didn't take long before she just never bothered with the tantrums and whining and being bratty again. She realized very quickly that it didn't get her anywhere with us and all it did do was get her in trouble. It was a waste of her time and energy to misbehave, we tolerated nothing. She hated being in trouble and it really bothered her if we were upset at her so she just stopped acting up.

On the rare occasion where she will start whining or start to pitch a fit I just cut her off the pass. I am calm and stern and it just stops her in her tracks and the behavior never escalates. She knows better, she knows we don't mess around.

I know everyone is different but this method worked for us and our DD. I know it's hard, two year olds aren't the most rational little people but you will figure it out. Good luck!!

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

Thanks everyone. I hate the person she is making me into.

I always swore I wouldn't yell, would NEVER hit (which I still plan to stick to- the one or 2 times I did she just laughed anyway My mother insists she needs a spanking. I refuse.)

I find myself constantly yelling and wanting to just get away from her


Don't get me wrong- she's really a good little girl, she just wants to do what she wants to do. According to my MIL she's just like her father was.

I'm going to try the strapped in time out. At this point she actually says "I want time out" while she is doing something wrong or not listening.

An example of her frustrating behaviour- she poured an entire bag of pretzels all over the floor. I've been telling her all day to pick them up. She picks up 2 or then throws them back down.

I should mention that I bring her and my infant to the office with me every day (and my sister brings my niece) so I can't really spend hours putting her back in time out over and over.

I'll definitely try some of the above suggestions and I'm open to any other advice!

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

The first four time outs with DS took over 45 minutes to get him to sit. He thought it was a game. I thought it would never end. I was exhausted and I did not see any end in sight. I was going to throw in the towel. I kept thinking this super nanny is BS. However come the fifth time I had to put DS in timeout, he cried and sat right where he was supposed to and has ever since. DS is 2 1/2 and I started them when he was about 19 months old.

My disclaimer: 45 minutes trying to get DS to sit in a timeout FEELS like 8 hours but if you give up, they win

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

I agree with the PP on many things.. with my son it took a while for him to take us seriously with time outs-I would say at least until about 2 would he really take it seriously. These did seem to work well for us, but as others ahve said, each child is different. Our Ped suggested withholding attention to the bad behavior as much as possible... I know it is hard when they keep doing it!

I think the others have made some good suggestions, maybe try a few different things and see what works well for you and her.

Re: Toddler Discipline- nothing works!! HELP!

Consider this articles advice http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/02/what-your-toddler-thinks-of-discipline/

My son is 2, ive never done a time out, and hes very good at listening and doing what needs doing. We have moments, I just have to remind myself to keep my cool, that Im in charge and that its my job to show him how the world works while respecting who he is, not to beat him into some perfect child mold.

If he hits, give him something else he can hit, that doesnt hurt anyone or anything...etc if hes cranky, remove him from the situation if he protests getting dressed, i give him options he can choose clothes put them on himself, etc, if he continues to refuse I assert the rules "you have to do this, either you do it yourself, or I will do it to you" there are very few things I reserve this harshness to, and it keeps it fresh and potent.