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Ellynrose
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 1714 total posts
Name:
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Terrible 3s... advice
Well... we just entered the terrible 3s... threenager.... whatever you want to call it. My sweet little one seems to be possessed at times. Melt down. ... melt down. ... melt down.
How do you handle these? What course of action do you take? Advice.... words of encouragement. .. anything.
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Posted 3/23/16 8:12 AM  |
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EandF
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 1674 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
We are there too except my DD will be 3 this summer. She's actually been like this for a while, meltdowns, tantrums, throws herself on the floor hysterically crying. It stinks.
I try to ignore her but that seems to make it worse. She crys more and can't catch her breath. When that happens, I pick her up and hold her, soothe her until the worst has passed.
I keep reminding myself, big emotions, little people and they don't know how to express it. Patience and time is all I got. Hang in there!
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| Posted 3/23/16 8:28 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Terrible 3s... advice
Ignore, ignore, ignore. That's what works for us. If she's having a meltdown, I look at her and say 'let me know when you're done' and I leave the room.
My DD is almost 4, and it's gotten better, but it's still a trying age.
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| Posted 3/23/16 8:35 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
3 has been the most trying time for us
My twins are a combo of bipolar,demon possessed with a few sweet wants thrown in lol
I just do the whole ignore and I'll be here when you're ready. Most of the time it works
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| Posted 3/23/16 9:31 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Terrible 3s... advice
Roll with it. I don't give in to him. Ignore, distract. Thankfully they mostly only happened at home but if we are out I pick him up and out of the store/restaurant etc we go. DS is now 4 and he is better but I find we have off days. I am traveling for work right now and DH told me today so far is bad. Like someone peed in his cherios this am. LOL.
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| Posted 3/23/16 10:30 AM |
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Ellynrose
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 1714 total posts
Name:
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Terrible 3s... advice
We ignore, but that's not always the best route. Sometimes ignoring leads to a worse temper tantrum. Sigh
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| Posted 3/23/16 12:44 PM |
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dianadrw
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 2092 total posts
Name:
Me
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Terrible 3s... advice
Lots of wine.
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| Posted 3/23/16 1:45 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
We are so there!
I set a limit and stand firm. After I state the limit I ignore and don't engage in his behaviors
I drink wine
His 5 year old brother gave me the phone the other day and He said I should call the police on him so they could take him away 
Message edited 3/23/2016 10:29:04 PM.
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| Posted 3/23/16 8:52 PM |
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KatiNoE
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 702 total posts
Name:
Kati
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
We had a harder time with the 2s because at 3 dd is able to understand and communicate her feelings more. We make sure that she understands boundaries way in advance. She gets one "treat" (piece of candy, a cookie, small piece of dessert) per day so as soon as she asks for one we remind her that this is her only treat for the day. At the beginning of her show we remind her that after it's over the tv goes off. She gets two alarms set when she starts using the iPad. One is a warning that she gets five more minutes and the second means it's time to turn it off. For outfits she gets two options and picks between the two. As soon as she walks in a store she is told that she's either not getting anything or that she may choose something small at the end if she follows the rules. She gets lots of freedom within certain limits. We also try to stay very calm and use extremely polite words while we speak to her. We save the stern voice for when she oversteps the boundaries. I have to say it's been working really well for the last year. She was a bit of a terror a year ago lol.
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| Posted 3/23/16 9:59 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Terrible 3s... advice
1 ignore
2 be patient stay calm do not yell
3 give them choices BUT their YOUR choices. For example, they want cookies for dinner. You cannot have cookies for dinner but here is your choice you can have 1 cookie after dinner or no cookies at all. You choose. keep doing this for everything.
3 Counting to 3 and then following through... If said tantrum is because she wants cookies and she was told she cannot have cookies at all then I tell her if she doesnt stop I will take this toy away (her favorite toy) then I count. if I get to 3 and she hasnt stopped the toy is taken away for the whole day. And the next day she has to earn it back by listening to me and not throwing tantrums.
It takes time but it will pass. For me 3 was worse than 2.
And its all about repetitiveness and patterns. Keep doing it.
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| Posted 3/24/16 4:59 PM |
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Jpteach95
LIF Infant
Member since 8/13 315 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
Posted by KatiNoE
We had a harder time with the 2s because at 3 dd is able to understand and communicate her feelings more. We make sure that she understands boundaries way in advance. She gets one "treat" (piece of candy, a cookie, small piece of dessert) per day so as soon as she asks for one we remind her that this is her only treat for the day. At the beginning of her show we remind her that after it's over the tv goes off. She gets two alarms set when she starts using the iPad. One is a warning that she gets five more minutes and the second means it's time to turn it off. For outfits she gets two options and picks between the two. As soon as she walks in a store she is told that she's either not getting anything or that she may choose something small at the end if she follows the rules. She gets lots of freedom within certain limits. We also try to stay very calm and use extremely polite words while we speak to her. We save the stern voice for when she oversteps the boundaries. I have to say it's been working really well for the last year. She was a bit of a terror a year ago lol.
We do a lot of this as well. First we try to divert and change distract. When that doesn't work--- Firm limits and boundaries. Expectations for behavior (explained before hand). At 2 we started time-outs. He was/is given very clear warnings. No negotiations. If it doesn't change---time out. That has worked well for us.
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| Posted 3/24/16 7:52 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
My dd is 3 and she is fresh!! Eye rolling, feet stamping, high pitch screaming, fresh little thing. I can't even believe someone who only weighs 37lbs could have so much attitude but she does! She has brought me to tears and to my knees. I really try to ignore as much as I can. It's hard to parent her some days. She is extremely mature and thinks she is much older than she is but she gets so frustrated by the constraints of being only 3. She wants to do whatever she wants and tells me so every day. I pray it passes. My oldest had her fair share of tantrums but nothing like my little one.  to all you other 3 year old moms!
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| Posted 3/24/16 8:19 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
If at home, put in their room and ignore until calm. Then go in and talk about it and how to handle it next time.
If in public, I would usually take him out of the room and go someplace private where we could talk.
I always speak in a low but authoritative voice. DS knows he's not getting anywhere when I use that voice. It is also kind of soothing. It bring some control to something that seems chaotic to DS.
If we're at the grandparents I stand no chance- he gets away with murder in BOTH houses! 
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| Posted 3/24/16 9:21 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
Isn't it fun?!
We ignore, we give choices. I also use 1-2-3 Magic.
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| Posted 3/25/16 8:17 AM |
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Ellynrose
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 1714 total posts
Name:
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Terrible 3s... advice
Ahhh... so trying. Thank you. Now I know I'm not alone!
What's 1-2-3 magic?
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| Posted 3/25/16 8:48 AM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
ugh its awful! we have a threenager and the terrible twos....our house is soo much fun right now 
we ignore it...well usually we do.
this morning I got a call as i was getting my morning cup of coffee just a few blocks away thankfully...dd had a meltdown and wouldnt let DH take her out of the crib to get her ready for daycare. i had to come home to get her ready. my entire drive to work i told myself that was the wrong move! but its too late. next time i wont give in
in addition to ignroing it, if we are home, we tell her to go into her room to cry because we dont want to hear it...or we carry her in her room when shes flipping out unnecessarily
i am intrigued - what is 1-2-3 magic???
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| Posted 3/25/16 9:19 AM |
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Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
I am in the same boat. My LO almost screams on purpose, like he is acting. I have to ignore it because nothing really calms him down. After 20 minutes, he forgets about it and gets happy.
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| Posted 3/25/16 7:05 PM |
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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
Posted by KatiNoE
We had a harder time with the 2s because at 3 dd is able to understand and communicate her feelings more. We make sure that she understands boundaries way in advance. She gets one "treat" (piece of candy, a cookie, small piece of dessert) per day so as soon as she asks for one we remind her that this is her only treat for the day. At the beginning of her show we remind her that after it's over the tv goes off. She gets two alarms set when she starts using the iPad. One is a warning that she gets five more minutes and the second means it's time to turn it off. For outfits she gets two options and picks between the two. As soon as she walks in a store she is told that she's either not getting anything or that she may choose something small at the end if she follows the rules. She gets lots of freedom within certain limits. We also try to stay very calm and use extremely polite words while we speak to her. We save the stern voice for when she oversteps the boundaries. I have to say it's been working really well for the last year. She was a bit of a terror a year ago lol.
nice
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| Posted 3/30/16 12:02 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Terrible 3s... advice
I have 3 yr old twin nieces that are a handful. 1-2-3 magic has been helping, but they are very strong-willed lol.
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| Posted 3/30/16 1:51 PM |
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