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Spinoff: Helping your parents/in-laws with $
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GioiaMia
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Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
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Re: Spinoff: Helping your parents/in-laws with $
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Tilde
See, I dont know if I would be willing to help as much then. I am not saying that I would let them be homeless but maybe you should let them know that they have to be responsible!
I am MORE than willing to help my parents because they just ran into a lot of trouble ( my dad got laid off and got into debt during that time and they just never recovered )
That's what I'm thinking, that maybe the conversation will plant the seed and they'll start planning. They are immigrants and I don't know if they "get" what they're supposed to be doing at this point in their lives. Or if they ever have plans to retire at all. My FIL's job isn't something he will be able to do forever, especially as he gets older.
And maybe it will give them a reality check that if they were thinking we would just pick up the slack whenever they wanted, it might not be the case. So they should take care of this themselves.
I hate to say it, but I definitely think they don't get it. My parents aren't from here. My mom had NO idea they were in financial trouble until the day we started talking about buying the house. Can you imagine thinking that you are okay and then getting hit with that? My dad in no way, shape or form EVER asked us for help - we offered. He would have dug himself deeper in debt for who knows how long. He is 67 years old working 50+ hours.
No one in my family has ever retired, they don't have anyone to emulate. I had to say it, but everyone passed away while they were still working or if they weren't working - it was due to illness not retirement. My dream is for my father to be the first - I am doing everything in my power to make that possible.
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Posted 8/13/09 4:05 PM  |
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kristin597
Mama!
Member since 8/08 1688 total posts
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Kristin
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Re: Spinoff: Helping your parents/in-laws with $
We will help my mother in any way she can, no matter what. My father passed away 3 years ago and while she was left with some life insurance and stocks, I am sure that along with her Catholic school teacher paycheck is a bit stretched.
My FIL and MIL (dh's stepmother) seem to have their heads on straight with financial issues. I would help them if they every asked, but I honestly don't think they would. DH's real mom would most definetly look for help, but she won't get it from DH or myself.
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| Posted 8/13/09 4:27 PM |
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jellybean78
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Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: Spinoff: Helping your parents/in-laws with $
Posted by springchick
I am hispanic and in our culture is costume and expected that you take care of your parents in the future  My mom did it with my grandma (she had a very low income and she spend the little saving with my grandpa illness). From my dad side was a very similar story. I am pretty sure i am going to finish helping my parents in one way or the other when they can't no longer provide for themselves.
In DH case, I dont know what is going to happen to his dad and I dont think DH is thinking about helping him. His mom I think she is saving but DH refuse to talk to her about her future (both financially and her wishes when she die)
Not all Hispanic cultures do except the kids to take care of the parents. I'm Hispanic also and my parents thank God are well prepared for the future as were my grandparents. My grandparents still were very generous with us even after they retired. I have no problem helping my parents or my IL's if they really need it. My IL's are already retired (10 years ago) and so far are doing well and never have asked for help. My FIL also retired early (52).
Message edited 8/13/2009 4:47:18 PM.
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| Posted 8/13/09 4:46 PM |
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