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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I'm confused about the fibing post, why would anyone fib about their kid STTN?
If someone tells you, their 6m is STTN, does it somehow make them a better parent than if they said otherwise?
What if they play independently in their playpen for a good 30 minutes? Our friends said something on that line when they came over for dinner, and I plopped DS in the playpen while we finished our dinner and dessert.
I was totally confused and thrown off, when they said that "You are such good parents, most kids wouldn't be bale to play by themselves"
I didn't feel like an especially good parent, to be honest. I felt really guilty for abandoning him four our friends, actually 
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Posted 3/8/11 10:50 AM  |
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brassmunky
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 1163 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by mommyIam
I'm confused about the fibing post, why would anyone fib about their kid STTN?
If someone tells you, their 6m is STTN, does it somehow make them a better parent than if they said otherwise?
What if they play independently in their playpen for a good 30 minutes? Our friends said something on that line when they came over for dinner, and I plopped DS in the playpen while we finished our dinner and dessert.
I was totally confused and thrown off, when they said that "You are such good parents, most kids wouldn't be bale to play by themselves"
I didn't feel like an especially good parent, to be honest. I felt really guilty for abandoning him four our friends, actually
well, not according to some.
i've been told i let my child fend for himself, and that's why he's so advanced. that because i let him play by himself, he learns to fend for himself 
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:52 AM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
my son sttn early and entertains himself extremely well.... imo, that makes HIM a good kid, not ME a good parent.
I was the same as DS when I was a child, but my sister STILL can't entertain herself at 25. My parents didn't change.
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:53 AM |
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TreAnt427
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Member since 8/06 8652 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Shorty
my son sttn early and entertains himself extremely well.... imo, that makes HIM a good kid, not ME a good parent.
:
Agreed!
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:54 AM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I figured most of the comments would lean towards "no" but I'm curious if people secretly think otherwise therefore the poll. 
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:55 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
According to some, I guess. -
Sometimes you see how someone else's kid behaves and you want to emulate their behavior - You want your kid to behave (or NOT behave) the way theirs does, so in your mind, they are a 'good parent' - KWIM?
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:55 AM |
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springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!
Member since 11/09 7155 total posts
Name:
Sandra
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I don't think at that age the child's behavior reflects on the parent. So I don't think it makes someone a good OR a bad parent.
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:55 AM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Shorty
my son sttn early and entertains himself extremely well.... imo, that makes HIM a good kid, not ME a good parent.
I agree with this!!!!!
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:57 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Nah just REALLY REALLY lucky! 
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| Posted 3/8/11 10:57 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by bicosi
Posted by Shorty
my son sttn early and entertains himself extremely well.... imo, that makes HIM a good kid, not ME a good parent.
I agree with this!!!!!
Yeap agreed.. i once posted that bragging doesn't make sense at this age b/c I feel I've done nothing to really make him this way....he is who he is at this point..
Older children..polite, disiplined..yes..I believe it has SOME reflection on the parent.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:04 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
no, b/c the flip side doesn't make a bad parent either.
my son is not a good sleeper. but he is so incredibly awesome during his waking hours.
he is just the happiest little boy. so joyful and playful and fun.
a bad parent to me, is someone that neglects the childs needs to the point that they dont' thrive emotionally or physically to the best they can.
that is what I would base my personal definition of that phrase on.
not the nature of the child, but the nurture of the parent. whether that means nurturing their awesome ability to sleep or play freely by letting them do it, or nurturing their need for middle of the night feedings and companionship. 
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:04 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I would LOVE to see who said yes.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:06 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I think a lot has to do with a child's personality, not actual parenting.
I was a shy child and was told I was really well behaved my whole life. When I was young, I supposedly was an angel. I liked reading books and playing alone. On the other hand, my brother was a wild child. He ran around everywhere. I don't think it had anything to do with parenting. We just have completely different personalities.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:14 AM |
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
No just a different kid, neither good nor bad.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:18 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Ophelia
I would LOVE to see who said yes.
ME TOOOO  FESS UP!!!
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:19 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Linda1003
Posted by Ophelia
I would LOVE to see who said yes.
ME TOOOO FESS UP!!!
I didnt BUT I could see how you could say yes IF your child was a horrible sleeper or wouldn't play on his own and then you did something veryspecific to turn it around
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:20 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
You can be a good parent, even if your kid does not STTN (I think I'm a good parent to DS and he hasn't STTN in a year).
When you say your kid does not STTN - well, in my case, you get a lot of looks, comments and unsolicited advice. People look at you like you aren't doing something right for them to be waking up so much.
What works for some does not work for all and all kids are different.
We did CIO - it worked. We need to do it again but, DS just has had a rough go with sickness and teething this winter. Now we're staying with my inlaws and they don't believe in CIO so we are going to wait until we're bakc home.
Like Luce, my DS is extremely happy during the day (unless he has an ear infection or is getting a molar). He just has issues with sleeping.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:26 AM |
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alisonggg
Cutie
Member since 3/06 4749 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Bridex100
I think a lot has to do with a child's personality, not actual parenting.
I was a shy child and was told I was really well behaved my whole life. When I was young, I supposedly was an angel. I liked reading books and playing alone. On the other hand, my brother was a wild child. He ran around everywhere. I don't think it had anything to do with parenting. We just have completely different personalities.
completely ita.... i truly believe sooooo much of it is just based on the temprement of the child. I would never say it was due to "good or bad" parenting. Just like I certianly wouldn't say a child who did those things was a "good" child.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:32 AM |
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TZ0624
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 1819 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
I must be a horrible mother then....since my DD does not STTN, always wants to be held, cries when alone, wants to be entertained all the time, can't sleep on her own, etc.
Message edited 3/8/2011 11:48:41 AM.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:48 AM |
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mommyIam
Member since 7/09 9209 total posts
Name:
Shana
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Linda1003
Posted by Ophelia
I would LOVE to see who said yes.
ME TOOOO FESS UP!!!
I didnt BUT I could see how you could say yes IF your child was a horrible sleeper or wouldn't play on his own and then you did something veryspecific to turn it around
I believe I did things to help DS become a great sleeper, and good at independent play, but I don't think that makes a good parent, because I did that partly out of respect for myself. And felt it okay to do, because I knew it wouldn't harm him in the long run. And on top of it, I read everything I can to ascertain that it is actually good for him, because I had issues with feeling I was doing it more for me, and not for him
for me good parent goes down to what you would do for your child over yourself, sometimes I wonder how anyone could just label me a good parent based on these things that initially manifested as ways to accommodate my own needs
Just throwing out there, another way to look at it.
I'd really love to hear from those that said yes! Have a voice! I'll beat off the flamers for ya, I think its healthy discussion.
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:52 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Uh... no... it just means you have an easy baby with a good temperment.
I'm the same mom to Alex and Yael and yet Alex NEVER slept and NEVER played independently (still doesn't), while Yael started sleeping 12 hours a night since she was 5 weeks old and does nothing but play independently.
Most of it is just luck of the draw...
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| Posted 3/8/11 11:57 AM |
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TZ0624
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 1819 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Bxgell2
Uh... no... it just means you have an easy baby with a good temperment.
I'm the same mom to Alex and Yael and yet Alex NEVER slept and NEVER played independently (still doesn't), while Yael started sleeping 12 hours a night since she was 5 weeks old and does nothing but play independently.
Most of it is just luck of the draw...
you just made me so happy....that there is hope that baby#2 will be a better sleeper, play independently unlike DD! Thanks for this! 
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| Posted 3/8/11 12:00 PM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by Shorty
my son sttn early and entertains himself extremely well.... imo, that makes HIM a good kid, not ME a good parent.
I was the same as DS when I was a child, but my sister STILL can't entertain herself at 25. My parents didn't change.
I agree! Same thing with DD she STTN at like 6 weeks - I just thought I was extremely lucky to have such a good KID - didn't think it had anything to do with what I did
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| Posted 3/8/11 12:04 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
STTN and a child entertaining themselves IMO has almost nothing to do with parenting.
Sure, some CIO at whatever age and then their kids STTN... but some kids (like mine) just STTN when they feel like it. My DD did it at 5 months.. my DS started last week at 8 months ( that it continues past daylight savings time). It really has NOTHING to do with me at all.
My kids don't entertain themselves for too long either... they're both always up my a$$ to play with them. again I don't think it has anything to do with my parenting. I think it's their personalities...
or maybe I"m just so awesome that they want to be around me every second of the day. (and when they're older and have their friends to hang with instead of me I'm sure I'll miss it).
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| Posted 3/8/11 12:10 PM |
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TZ0624
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 1819 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: sort of spinnoff - does this make you a good parent?
Posted by eroxgirl
STTN and a child entertaining themselves IMO has almost nothing to do with parenting.
Sure, some CIO at whatever age and then their kids STTN... but some kids (like mine) just STTN when they feel like it. My DD did it at 5 months.. my DS started last week at 8 months ( that it continues past daylight savings time). It really has NOTHING to do with me at all.
My kids don't entertain themselves for too long either... they're both always up my a$$ to play with them. again I don't think it has anything to do with my parenting. I think it's their personalities...
or maybe I"m just so awesome that they want to be around me every second of the day. (and when they're older and have their friends to hang with instead of me I'm sure I'll miss it).
There you go...love that! 
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| Posted 3/8/11 12:12 PM |
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