someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

I am wondering if anyone else is or was in the same boat. I am getting ready to enroll my soon to be 3 year old in Preschool in September. I am having a really hard time even thinking about it. He has been home with me since he was born or with his babysitter. If I need to go out for a meeting, he is with my Mom. He isn't very social and tends to shy away from kids at the playground or in social situations. I started soccer this year and he enjoys it as long as he doesn't have to get involved with other kids. I know I need to put him in but I am stressing out on his reaction. I am hoping i am making more of it then it is, but I am starting to really get upset about parting with him and what his reaction will be. We just finished a disastrous transition from when we brought his brother home in July. I am wondering if I should look into a preschool that is very structured since that is what he is used to. I feel like I am panicking and its still a year away yet everyone is doing open enrollment for Sept 2015!!

Message edited 11/14/2014 1:42:44 PM.

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

It's totally normal to stress about it. DD started nursery school this year and I was so worried about her going. She was so used to being with me or with my parents. I won't lie, the first month of transitioning was rough. But now? She asks me everyday when she's going back to school (she only goes twice a week). She absolutely LOVES it now!! The beginning was rough on both me and her, but it was so worth it. She loves it, is getting the socialization that she needs, and is learning so much.

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Enroll your kid in gymboree.
Some locations do separation classes.

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

my DD too was always either with my parents or me until the age of 3 and was also shy around strangers. what helps her most though big life changes is preparation. for months before it started we talked about school, read books about it and really went over exactly what would go down. once september came, she was pumped to go and never looked back. i was shocked! she still sometimes needs to be reassured that i will be picking her up, but thats her personality. I'm sure your son will do great. maybe he needs extensive prep like my DD. plus i also found a lot of her shyness really got better once she turned 3

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Is enrollment seriously going on already?!?! Im so tired off having to be super early with things for fear everything will be gone

Getting back on topic, I wouldn't stress it... You're kid could be totally adjusted to social situations in another year from now!

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Normal reaction. Every kid reacts differently. We see new kids all the time at DS daycare. Some have no issue others cry. But in the end they all adjust.

You might want to look at separation classes between now and then to ease the transition. My guess is he isn't social with other kids because he hasn't had too. Some kids are just naturally social and some aren't unless they have to be. The teachers will get him involved in school and again he will adjust. My DS is very shy in new situations but now at school he walks around like he owns the place.....its all an adjustment. But kids are very good at it.

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

totally normal... which is why i'm not registered dd for school until 4 or 5!

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

It's normal - and things may change between now and September.

My son has been in daycare since he was 11 weeks old and he shied away from kids in social situations outside of daycare until he was 3 1/2 or so (even at b-day parties for classmates).

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Normal to feel that way!
But I will say this...preschool was the best thing for all of my kids. They all started this sept at 3.5 and 18 mo
They have learned so much.
DD is so shy and has come such a long way.
She is starting to talk to other people/kids and I can see it when we are out and about. It sometimes brings tears to my eyes when I go pick them up and she is sitting with another kid and "chatting"
Hang in there for my kids school had been amazing!

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

DD is very much like your DS. Was always with me, and has always been painfully shy. Kids would talk to her on the playground and she would just freeze and stare at the ground. People would talk to her when we were out and she would look down and be silent.

Like you, I was terrified. I sobbed about it for months before she enrolled (never in front of the kids, of course!). But we talked about school ALOT. Talked up the playground (LOL), and read a lot of books. She started a dance class without me a month before school and did well.

Well she is still shy and actually doesn't love school yet (she doesn't cry or refuse to go, she just would rather stay with me), but she has been doing so much better socially. Just yesterday she made a friend at the playground and was talking to her (that is big for her). She will answer questions from strangers when I am out with her (like "how old are you?"), although still quietly. And when we used to go to open gym, she would let kids cut her and wouldn't want to wait in line with the other kids, now she is right in the action with the other kids!

It is rough, but I am so glad I enrolled her.

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Aww it's totally normal to be nervous! My dd had been with me always until this year when we enrolled her in preschool 2 half days a week. At first she cried and it was an adjustment. But now she absolutely loves going to school!!!

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Its totally normal to be nervous! But what has to win out over the nervousness is knowing you are doing the best thing for him. There are going to be many times in his life whether its big or small you are going to have to make decisions for him that he doesnt like but will help him grow. He will cry. He will get upset.

This will help him grow. This will help him learn socialization skills. Sharing. Playing with other kids. Making friends. Manners. Being independent. Coping skills. Learning to be away from you. Learning to calm himself down.

There will be an adjustment period just like everything in life. Hes going to cry and hes going to be upset. But you have to push through that and show him it will be ok. Like any routine he will learn he gets dropped off and picked up. He will love it

One thing i would def advise is really try to control tour levels of anxiety around hi. the more anxious you are the more anxious you will make him.

If its not now then when will it be? The longer you wait the harder it will be for both of you.

You will see how it only strengthens your relationship with him. My dd is in nursery school and We talk avout everything when she gets home. We talk about everything she did. She tells me about her friends and teachers. Shes made friends and we have play dates. Its great! I love our conversations about school! Its opened an entirely new dialogue for us. And shes learned soo much just little things from playing.

Message edited 11/15/2014 9:57:31 AM.

someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

Thanks everyone! You all made me feel much better about the process, I appreciate it!

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

I totally understand where you are coming from. I was so nervous how my Dd would be when she started this past Sept. I thought she was going to cry so much that they'd have to call me to come and get her. But, surprisingly, she did awesome. I was shocked. She loves school and now at this point I wish I would've done 3 days a week!

My Dd was also with me or my parents since birth. She is very shy also until she warms up to you and feels comfortable, but I think that the routine is good for them and I wasn't worried about my Dd academically, she knows the alphabet and her numbers, shapes and colors. I was more worried about her socially. If I would've known! She loves all her little friends in class. Almost too much, she's always in their faces wanting to hug and hold hands, but she is learning about personal space. Good luck, it's the best thing you can do for them.

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related

My son just started preschool in September. He turned 3 the previous april. He loved playing with kids, has an older brother. But was very shy around all adults. Even ones he knows. but ones he isnt familiar with he would hide, throw himself on the floor, etc. He was so attached to me too because I am a SAHM, and he has only been babysat by family members, mainly grandparents. So we were nervous. Oh and he is so stubborn, if he doenst want to do something, good luck trying to convince him otherwise!!!

My husband and I said there was a 75% chance he just wasnt going to go!!! LOL

We he loves it. The transition was slow, he wasnt jumping up and down to go. But he is slowly loving it more and more. At first he would say he wasnt going, so I would tell him we had to go tell his teacher he wasnt coming. And once I got him there I would play with him and then when he seemed settled I would sneak out. After a week or 2 of that, he seemed okay but didnt want me to leave, so I started telling him I was going to the mommy room. The classroom was only for kids and the moms and dads had to go to their room. Since then he has been fine. Now he waves goodbye and tells me to have fun in the mommy room! I think it helps when he thinks that I am still nearby.

Also when choosing the school, I chose one in a school setting. His is a former elementary school. I felt this would help ease the transition when its time for kindergarten as He does take some time to warm up to new surroundings and isnt too keen on change. They do have structure but they are flexible. He goes 3 hours 2x a week.

I know the anxiety it can cause. But it sounds like this is a change he needs. The teachers are well versed in helping to ease the transition and knowing when it is too much! My friends son still gets upset regularly about going. They had to increase him to 5 days because after any days off it is so much harder for him. But he loves it and goes and his teachers know how to distract him so he enjoys his tiem there!

Good Luck!

Re: someone help ease my mind, Preschool Related