Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

OMG I am so sorry to hear this! I think its time to find another daycare that might be better for her!

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Like someone else said I dont think they are trying to punish DD, but trying to have the parents spend more time working on the issue. And the fact is its really the only consequence they have- and they probably need to show the parents of the kids who are being bitten that they are doing something.

As a parent who had to pull my DS out of daycare because he was bit 3x in a week and they had no behavior plan or consequence for the biter, I am glad your daycare is taking the issue seriously (even if suspension doesnt do much).

Yes, biting is a normal developmental stage. However, for the kid who is being bit or almost bit it is very upsetting. The daycares have to protect every child involved. Sad as it sounds to be able to tell the parent of the bitten child, that the biter has to stay home for a week is probably comforting to the parent who is upset their child is bitten.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

I'm so sorry, I hope you can figure something out

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Is she trying to bite the same child or different? If its the same child, maybe that one child is annoying her.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Sorry Jo -

You know from experiences in the field that if they are not equipped to handle this, then its not going to change. These are daycare providers and not behaviorists, so their skill set will only go so far. Its frustrating - I have seen things at Cailen's daycare being reinforced, and I'm like W T F, and then I remember they may never have taken one class in behavior...

Hope things can change...

ETA - isn't the ratio still 4:1 at this point? Can't they have the adult in her "group" watch her when she's with another child???

Message edited 1/18/2008 8:05:57 AM.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

omg

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm actually a parent of a child who was bit many many times by other students in his class. So coming from the other side I can kind of understand. But....I do feel that they are not necessarily taking the right precautions. You hadn't mentioned if they removed her from the class first (either putting her in the class above or below the chiildren she is in with) to see if her behavior changes. This is what our daycare did for the child/children that were biting DS and other children. I was also very tolerant parent, even though I was upset with it, I understand that children do have to learn. I also don't think she is going to "learn" why she NOT is school right now. I do believe on antother thread that you had mentioned she doesn't behave this way when you or DH are around. Do you ever have her in a big play group with other children w/ your supervision? If not, I would most definitley volunteer my son to hang out and she if she bites (since he's use to it! ) And, maybe when she sees you teaching her that that's not the right way to behave, she might stop.

Many hugs to you

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

That really stinks. But as a parent who has a child that will be going into daycare in two weeks, if there was a biter I wouldnt want them near my child whether they broke skin or not.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

I think that this all happened way too fast...didn't your husband just observe your daughter and then talk with the daycare director...who agreed that Hannah was frustrated and that it was something that had to be addressed all around..including the teachers? This isn't fair then. But I guess that's the three strikes thing, right? Still I hate that your little girl is being suspended.

Are you considering another daycare?

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

I'm so sorry this happened

Maybe Hannah would do better in a smaller daycare setting where the caregivers could give her more one on one attention during the day Maybe she's biting cause she's overwhelmed.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Oh no! Thats terrible that they kick them out of daycare like that! I don't agree with that either- most of the times, the kids don't realize what they are doing- and probably are not going to realize the "consequence" of getting sent home!

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

sorry i am going to be obviously on the defensive here.

hannah does not bite at home. she does not bite her cousins. she does not bite her friends in playgroups. only once, 3 months ago did she try with my dad and it never occured again.

as far as i am concerned this is a learned behavior in the daycare setting. that being said, there is not much i can do at home to change that behavior if its only happening at daycare. so to place the responsibility on me in my opinion is quite unfair. my hands are tied here. the day care has not taken any data to determine why this is occuring. they have no antecedent information. all i get is that she attempts. thats it.

look, i get that the staff have to take care of the victims as they put it. i totally agree with that. by all means they should be. but if my dh and i hadn't put up a stink about this situation, i dont think they would have been as attentive to her needs.

and not for nothing, i have been there 2x yesterday observing her and both times some one hit hannah. does that kid get a write up? do i get a call home to tell me she was hit? NO!! but yet i get phone calls that she hit.

the ironic thing, i am a consultant for the nursery school in my building for the kids who exhibit behavior problems.
and my dh is a board certified behavior analyst. we deal with this everyday professionally.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Posted by groovypeg

sorry i am going to be obviously on the defensive here.

hannah does not bite at home. she does not bite her cousins. she does not bite her friends in playgroups. only once, 3 months ago did she try with my dad and it never occured again.

as far as i am concerned this is a learned behavior in the daycare setting. that being said, there is not much i can do at home to change that behavior if its only happening at daycare. so to place the responsibility on me in my opinion is quite unfair. my hands are tied here. the day care has not taken any data to determine why this is occuring. they have no antecedent information. all i get is that she attempts. thats it.

look, i get that the staff have to take care of the victims as they put it. i totally agree with that. by all means they should be. but if my dh and i hadn't put up a stink about this situation, i dont think they would have been as attentive to her needs.

and not for nothing, i have been there 2x yesterday observing her and both times some one hit hannah. does that kid get a write up? do i get a call home to tell me she was hit? NO!! but yet i get phone calls that she hit.

the ironic thing, i am a consultant for the nursery school in my building for the kids who exhibit behavior problems.
and my dh is a board certified behavior analyst. we deal with this everyday professionally.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Message edited 1/18/2008 10:21:39 AM.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Posted by groovypeg

sorry i am going to be obviously on the defensive here.

hannah does not bite at home. she does not bite her cousins. she does not bite her friends in playgroups. only once, 3 months ago did she try with my dad and it never occured again.

as far as i am concerned this is a learned behavior in the daycare setting. that being said, there is not much i can do at home to change that behavior if its only happening at daycare. so to place the responsibility on me in my opinion is quite unfair. my hands are tied here. the day care has not taken any data to determine why this is occuring. they have no antecedent information. all i get is that she attempts. thats it.

look, i get that the staff have to take care of the victims as they put it. i totally agree with that. by all means they should be. but if my dh and i hadn't put up a stink about this situation, i dont think they would have been as attentive to her needs.

and not for nothing, i have been there 2x yesterday observing her and both times some one hit hannah. does that kid get a write up? do i get a call home to tell me she was hit? NO!! but yet i get phone calls that she hit.

the ironic thing, i am a consultant for the nursery school in my building for the kids who exhibit behavior problems.
and my dh is a board certified behavior analyst. we deal with this everyday professionally.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by groovypeg

sorry i am going to be obviously on the defensive here.

hannah does not bite at home. she does not bite her cousins. she does not bite her friends in playgroups. only once, 3 months ago did she try with my dad and it never occured again.

as far as i am concerned this is a learned behavior in the daycare setting. that being said, there is not much i can do at home to change that behavior if its only happening at daycare. so to place the responsibility on me in my opinion is quite unfair. my hands are tied here. the day care has not taken any data to determine why this is occuring. they have no antecedent information. all i get is that she attempts. thats it.

look, i get that the staff have to take care of the victims as they put it. i totally agree with that. by all means they should be. but if my dh and i hadn't put up a stink about this situation, i dont think they would have been as attentive to her needs.

and not for nothing, i have been there 2x yesterday observing her and both times some one hit hannah. does that kid get a write up? do i get a call home to tell me she was hit? NO!! but yet i get phone calls that she hit.

the ironic thing, i am a consultant for the nursery school in my building for the kids who exhibit behavior problems.
and my dh is a board certified behavior analyst. we deal with this everyday professionally.

Based on what you said above, I would go speak with the director. I think you have some legitimate complaints and concerns.

Also, is this the same school that had labeled her a "monster" previously?

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

sorry - not sure why it posted like this.

Message edited 1/18/2008 10:23:01 AM.

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

Re: So...Hannah got kicked out today from daycare

As a mom of seriel biters I feel for you. The twins still will bite each other if the fight gets really bad and hair pulling isnt enough.(and they look so sweet dont they??) They dont bite others any more and havent since they were about 3. While I can understand why the daycare has this policy I find it ridiculous. Parents of non-biters seem to think its something that the parents are doing (or not doing) that is causing the biting...some kids are just biters. Taking her out of the situation is not going to teach her not to bite.