So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong? UPDATE

I'd love your thoughts on this, if you don't mind.

As you all know thanks to all my rants, Riley is a horrible sleeper, she fights it tooth and nail. It's not about STTN at all...it was originally, but now, this is a typical night:

Put her down around 7. Wakes up half hour later, screaming. Rock her back to sleep. Wakes up a half hour later, can POSSIBLY get her back to sleep. If we can't, she's up for HOURS...like last night. Finally got her to sleep for good around 2:30am or so (even put her down at 2 and she woke up a half hour later!)...and she's STILL asleep at 11:30am. If she gets to bed at a normal hour, she'd wake up every 3, 4 hours.

This is about her being overtired, no?

I don't know if there's anything I'm doing wrong here. Typically, when she wakes up in the morning, she'll go back down for a nap that lasts about 3 hours. Then the afternoon is TOUGH...she maybe will nap about a half hour. Try to get her down again, and she fights it. Then the nighttime routine begins...(see above).

So...should I not be allowing her to take that long nap in the morning? Is that messing everything up?

She has to be out like a light for me to put her in her crib - and she can only get to sleep by walking her around or BFing her. I felt AWFUL for her last night- most of the time, she was happy and wanted to play- but it got to the point where she was beside herself and hysterical. Then she finally fell asleep.

I feel so helpless...I want to help her sleep and I feel like I'm failing her!! It's not even about me and my sleep deprivation anymore - seeing how she was last night broke my heart. She needs help and I am not doing a good job of it!!!

Thoughts? Tips? Thank you all soooo much for always listening and being supportive!


********************

Did it again last night. Put her down at 7pm, she slept I guess an hour & a half. Woke up, WIDE AWAKE. Rocking her ad nauseum, swing, trying everything....doesn't go back to sleep until 1:30am. STILL sleeping and it's 10am!!

I dunno- maybe it's just a phase? How do I get her back on track if I don't 'wake a sleeping baby'?

Thanks all!

Message edited 10/16/2009 9:58:37 AM.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

have you tried a strict schedule? like feed at 7:30, bath right after, then pjs and bed - every single night?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

It's very difficult to get her on a strict schedule because she is all over the place! I mean, right now she's having her night time sleep- and it's approaching noon! So at this point, what time is her bedtime gonna be? 2am again?

I try to just put her down when she's sleepy- and it seems to be at different times every day, it all depends on how she did the night before...

Thanks Nicole

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

i know the bath definitely relaxes DS. He's pretty floppy afterwards

I'm sorry, i think my kid has narcolepsy like my husband

I wish i had better advice!

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by TaraGotHutched

It's very difficult to get her on a strict schedule because she is all over the place! I mean, right now she's having her night time sleep- and it's approaching noon! So at this point, what time is her bedtime gonna be? 2am again?

I try to just put her down when she's sleepy- and it seems to be at different times every day, it all depends on how she did the night before...

Thanks Nicole

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

I think a schedule is really tough at that age. You can however, have a set routine. Always do the same things before bedtime - bath, bottle, read a book, etc, whatever you want to do.
She is still really young and will sleep when she needs to. I didn't get my DC on a real schedule until around 6 months.

When she wakes up in the morning, how long until her nap? It probably shouldn't be more than an hour or so, and after that she really shouldn't go more than 2 hours after waking until the next nap.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Oh Tara - I wish I had some advice for you

I agree with the AP that she's overtired.

Am I correct in reading that she's now been asleep since 2:30am? Or is she having her morning nap now?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

I don't know how you feel about this - but have you ever put her on her belly?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

I think she's just still confused because she is giving you 9-10 hours of sleep just at the wrong hours LOL.

Do you try and exagerate the nights and days? With DD not a single light went on at night if she woke up. I would feed her in silence. During the day I would leave the tv on, clean, etc. She eventually got it.
We've also put her on a "routine" since about 6 weeks old. She gets a bath at 6:45-7pm and then her bottle. Once she finishes her bottle she gets her paci and blanket (yep, i give her a blanket) and she takes her hands and puts them behind her head and falls asleep.

Keep trying a nightime routine. Eventually she will get it. Hopefully you will still be standing, but she will get it!

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by TaraGotHutched

Posted by Shorty

I don't know how you feel about this - but have you ever put her on her belly?

I tried it once before for a nap...she woke up like 15 minutes later. I think it freaked her out. I guess I could try it again...

I can't put her down awake at ALL.

But seriously- she has slept NINE hours...still sleeping. I guess she just needs to catch up? I just wonder if I should wake her...

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

I would never wake her up from a nap or mess with the naps she does take in any way. A 3 hr. nap in the a.m. is not messing her up at all. In fact, she should nap more because the more they nap during the day the better they sleep at night. It sounds weird but it's true. Even now at 13 months Emerson still naps 2 hrs. EVERY morning (2 hrs. after she wakes up) and at least an hour in the afternoon.

I feel you pain though because I can tell you, Emerson was NOT a napper and I would fight to get her to take one. The ONLY way she would nap was if I held her on my chest, it was nuts. Around 6-7 months she starting napping regularly in her crib. By 8 or so months she was able to put herself to sleep for naps. It just takes time.

I would try in the afternoons just shutting off the TV, put away the toys, and find somewhere relaxing to just lay with Riley or hold her and keep everything relaxing and quiet and see if she will fall asleep. Even if it's a short nap (15-20min) it will help to recharge her, get her through the day, and hopefully she will be tired at bedtime.

Not all babies are good nappers, I can attest to that, but hopefully in time she'll level out with her sleeping. It's so frustrating when they are overtired because they are crying and freaking out and you know they are exhausted and all they have to do is close their eyes but they fight it. Good luck!!

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by MikesWife

I think she's just still confused because she is giving you 9-10 hours of sleep just at the wrong hours LOL.

Do you try and exagerate the nights and days? With DD not a single light went on at night if she woke up. I would feed her in silence. During the day I would leave the tv on, clean, etc. She eventually got it.
We've also put her on a "routine" since about 6 weeks old. She gets a bath at 6:45-7pm and then her bottle. Once she finishes her bottle she gets her paci and blanket (yep, i give her a blanket) and she takes her hands and puts them behind her head and falls asleep.

I agree that when she is up in the middle of the night - make sure she knows it's night. No talking, playing, lights, tv, etc. I think she is confused. She can obviously STTN since she gives you 9-10 hrs at a time. She just needs to figure out when night is

Message edited 10/15/2009 12:17:56 PM.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

could she possibly have her days and nights confused???

i agree with pp's that mentioned STRESSING the day & night differential....during the day - keep it loud and bright (get her in the sunlight if the sun ever comes back out) and at night - keep it QUIET, dark, etc...

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by nicknmb



I agree that when she is up in the middle of the night - make sure she knows it's night. No talking, playing, lights, tv, etc. I think she is confused. She can obviously STTN since she gives you 9-10 hrs at a time. She just needs to figure out when night is

Message edited 10/15/2009 12:22:47 PM.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

oh and 12:30...she's STILL sleeping!!!!! 10 hours! ay yi yi what have I done?!

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by TaraGotHutched

Posted by SweetTooth


Don't wake her, let her sleep. She is definitely overtired and that is why she is not going to sleep at night.
Definitely start with a routine. She needs to know what bedtime is as a opposed to nap time.
Have you tried letting her nap in the swing? It might make her sleep a little longer during the day.

So I let her sleep...what time do I do the bedtime routine tonight since it's all messed up? I've been doing a routine for a long time now...but I think the problem is, bedtime is always different with this kid! She just ends up waking up a half hour later and does this mad thing all night!

I try getting her to nap in the swing all the time- she just fusses like mad and stays wide awake. When she's awake she wants CONSTANT attention. She'll groan/whine in the swing until I make eye contact with her. I try the paci...she takes it for a minute, it soothes her, and then she goes back to fighting the sleep...

Message edited 10/15/2009 12:30:38 PM.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

I try to employ the EASY method - when she wakes, I feed her, and give her about 45mins to an hour of playtime, and then naptime. I never let her stay up for more than 2 hours before she naps - I try to be as consistent as possible throughout the day with her, and it seems to have put her on a loose schedule, so she knows what to expect. I got it from the book called the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, and it seems to work for us...

And though everyone says to let a sleeping baby lay, I don't. That's how I got Yael on this rough schedule - I never, ever let her nap for more than 3 hours during the day, and our day begins at around 7-8am. That way I know she's getting enough milk in during the day so that she doesn't need it at night, and so she started to understand the difference between day and night. Daytime you nap - nighttime is uninterrupted blocks of sleep. And every night I put her down at the same time, when Alex goes to bed. She fought it in the begiinning, but now she's happy as a clam with it...

Message edited 10/15/2009 12:34:44 PM.

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

You should try to keep a journal about her schedule for a week - my Alex was the same way - inconsistent and fought naps like a devil. Someone suggested I journal all her activities for a week, which I did, and I started to notice slight patterns in her day, that way I could start structuring a VERY loose routine around HER habits. Another book I've heard is REALLY good for this is Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child...

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by TaraGotHutched

Posted by SweetTooth


When does she start looking sleepy at night? That is when I would start the routine. If it is 7, then at 7.
If she wakes up a half an hour later, what does she do? Does she cry? Does she just make noises? If she isn't crying I would leave her.
If she is crying, go and soothe her, but don't talk, don't turn on the lights. Rock her, rub her back, but don't take her out of the room.


ETA: don't wake her now. when she wakes up on her own, turn on all the lights, the tv, etc. make it bright and noisy.
Put her back down for a nap an hour after she wakes up.

I wish I could answer that question about when she looks sleepy for the night...she is just not consistent in any way. I obviously need to be consistent FOR her and I'm not doing a good job of it. It all seems to hinge on her lack of napping in the afternoon - I just can't get her down for long, or can't get her down at all!!

Lately, when she wakes a half hour later, she is screaming.

Other times, she may just be laying there making a lot of noise- but she is WIDE AWAKE and eventually it turns to whining, then crying. I try not to give in, but often DH will...he just gets tired of hearing it! She is VERY loud...she's also at a squealing phase.

You ladies are all wonderful, thank you

Re: So apparently, 2am is her bedtime. What am I doing wrong?

Posted by SweetTooth


The consistency is definitely key.
Look, sleeping is not the greatest in my house either, lol. DS at 9.5 months still doesn't STTN, and I usually need to nurse him to get him to sleep for 1 of his 2 naps.
DD on the other hand, sleeps 13 hrs a night, goes down on her own for naps and sleeps for 1-2 hours.
Some babies are just better sleepers than others. But they always go down at the same times and have the same routine.

You will get it. It may take some time, but you (and she) will figure it out.
You are doing a great job.