Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

My DS is very strong willed and fights me on pretty much everything. He's always been this way and I've just accepted it as part of his personality. And even though it makes my job harder as his mother, I wouldn't change a thing about him. But I think daycare is having a rough time with him.

Today when I picked him up his teacher was telling me how he doesn't listen. I mean...he doesn't listen to me either and I do try. But he's still so young, it's not like he's 3 and not listening. I don't know, it just confused me. Am I supposed to expect my 17 month old to really listen? I thought this was pretty normal at his age.

Re: Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

Nope!
Seems totally normal to me. Obviously there are things they have to learn, and times they need to try and listen. But I don't think it should be expected of a 17 month old.

Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

I'd say yes and no if that's any help, lol. DD will be 17 months in a few days and she does listen most of the time. I have been warned that around 18 months there is a social/emotional growth spurt which often means testing limits, tantrums, etc. DD gets PT and we just went through two new therapists and I realized how defiant DD can be at times. I guess the first was kind of a push over and then the second was pretty firm and DD wasn't having it. After doing a task a few times she would realize she wasn't in control and would start to ignore us and would literally talk right over us as if she couldn't hear us. It was comical and frustrating all at the same time. The PT did assure me that DD's behavior was perfectly normal though. As long as you know DC understands what's being asked, I would assume it's a control issue. Seems normal but I can understand how it would make it difficult on his teachers. But like you said, I'm ot sure what they expect of him at that age.

Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

I think a lot of times in a daycare setting - kids tend to follow the pack and the teachers cues/leads. I get reports on my 18 month old that do not sound like my son at all - maybe that's what she meant???

Re: Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

HOnestly each kid is different and while there are certain milestones, until you get "that" kid you dont understand it! I know I didnt.

My first DS did listen at 17m. He likes to please. he could follow multiple directions, like go pick up that and put it in the garbage...

DS2, well he is current 2y5m. He is strong willed, stubborn, opinionated (putting it nicely) he doesnt listen for anything. Its just his personality, everythign is I do, he has to do everything on his own, He is 2 but in his head he is 6. So nothing holds him back, including me! If I try to help, he will kick scream even throw up in a fit.

Sorry I am not help but I am there too!!!

Re: Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

I think he's probably more difficult at school because you are not there. As difficult as he is for you- you are his mother and babies can yes, be more difficult to us at times, but also they do have a soft spot for us like we do for them. I agree that this is normal though. 18 months old is a common age for the terrible 2's to actually begin, despite the title. Maybe he is doing it sooner. It happens. My daughter was born strong-willed, stubborn and threw tantrums in infancy. I was blown away because I knew 3 year olds acted like that. I didn't expect a 3 month old to do it! but she did and still does. She is 13 months old now and listens to me *MOST* of the time but a lot of times, she does what she wants. I think you just need to instill in him to be on his best behavior at school and to listen to the teachers like he does you. I don't know what the teachers are expecting you to do about it. A blanket he doesn't listen isn't really useful. They should give you examples of the exact scenarios and how they are playing out.

Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?

Thanks everyone. He does listen for some things. Like if I ask him to hand me something he usually will. And he knows how he's supposed to behave in order to get what he wants (sit down to put on your shoes if you want to go outside, sit nicely in the high chair if you want to eat, etc). But he's a daredevil and loves to climb and if you tell him no climbing, he definitely doesn't listen and throws a tantrum. So to me, I feel like that's his age. But I will ask the teacher for examples of his behavior. They're always so vague.

Re: Should I really expect a 17 month old to listen?