Separation Anxiety for Mommy

Does anyone else have really bad separation anxiety with their kid(s)?

I know it's normal for me to have this, I had PPD/PTSD and almost died giving birth, after going through a year and a half of infertility treatments and miscarriages. I am OK leaving her for a few hours here and there. I have gotten better at leaving her overnight (doesn't happen often, but occasionally). Tonight we are going to AC for DHs birthday for two nights and I just get SO anxious before leaving. It's very irrational anxiety too. She is always watched by family and we live upstairs from MIL so she even gets to stay in her crib and normal environment for the most part while we are gone.

I am going back to work full time on the 14th and I have so much guilt and anxiety about leaving her. Again its mostly irrational. I know I'm projecting this a little on the trip today but even before knowing I was going back to work I have always had this anxiety when leaving her. I am just so attached. It makes me so sad to leave her that I don't enjoy the time leading up to the trip - although once I am there I am usually OK. We also facetime or skype a lot while we are gone which helps. It's just the process of leaving her that really hits me hard. She is such a go-with-the-flow kid and although she has had a minimal amount of separation anxiety when I leave, so far it has been nothing more than a slight cry or a moment of whining. It's really all in my head.

I guess I just want to know if others have this experience and what they do about it. I get so anxious about stupid things and it effects my whole mood, perspective, and causes me to be absent minded. I just wish there was an easy fix but it's been 20m and it's still pretty bad. I don't see a therapist anymore but I still go to a PPD group but I feel that they don't exactly relate cause they all can't wait to leave their kids (more of a classic PPD than me who had trauma-related PPD/PTSD). Sorry this got so long and TIA!

Re: Separation Anxiety for Mommy

In the beginning it was hard for me. I would always use the excuse that I felt bad leaving them with people because it was alot of work. At about a year it was much easier for me. I know they still have the out of sight out of mind mentality and will be perfectly fine (and sometimes happier ) with whomever I leave them with.
As for the anxiety about going back to work...completely NORMAL especially going back when your dd is a little older. The first few days/week will be tough but it does get easier. You will get into a routine and make your time together quality and it will all work out.

I don't know if I am answering your questions but hope this helps

Re: Separation Anxiety for Mommy

I am TERRIBLE about leaving DD. She's 8 months and I've never left her for more than a few hours and even that has only been a few times. DH and I went out to dinner twice and other than that I pretty much only leave her for doctor appointments. For me I think a lot of it comes from nursing and not wanting to miss a feeding. I get so anxious when I leave her and do everything I can to get back before she wakes and needs to eat. I actually had so many extra doctor visits the first few weeks after she was born bc every time I left her I got high bp! I can't imagine leaving her overnight. For now it's okay and I know she'll likely be weened in a few months which will make things easier. But now I think about having a second DC and I know I need to find a way to be more relaxed.

I don't plan to return to work for a while, but I need to pick up some tutoring hours and I hate the idea of leaving her for a few hours a week. I know I'm of no help to you, but I totally get where you're coming from. GL with your trip and hopefully you'll enjoy yourself!

Re: Separation Anxiety for Mommy

I feel this leaving my kids with the grandparents for the day, much less going back to work.

With my first it was pretty easy to go back to work, now with 4, I don't want to and hate leaving them for more than a few hours. I can't do an over night trip anywhere because I would freak about not being able to put my kiddies to bed at night. Even when I went in to have DS, I had to have anxiety meds(which I dont usually take) because I wasn't used to being away from my other kids.

I do have to say that it does take some time and getting used to, but you will be able to do it eventually, just like with the kiddies, you gotta keep doing it to adjust