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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
There seem to be a ton of arrests related to DWI with kids in the car this weekend. I also saw this. Thoughts? DH says constantly, knowing the $hit he got away with as the first teen, sleeping in a seperate part of the house, there's no way DS will have that kind of "freedom". Thoughts?
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A Sayville couple was arrested Sunday after a 16-year-old girl became ill with alcohol poisoning during a party at their home, Suffolk County police said.
Police said they received a 911 call at 1:33 a.m. Sunday reporting that the girl had become sick with alcohol poisoning at the residence at 81 Old Broadway.
When police arrived, they said, they found more than two dozen teenagers -- some visibly intoxicated -- in an apartment separate from the main house.
Witnesses said large amounts of vodka had been consumed, and officers also saw shot glasses and evidence of a game of beer pong, police said.
Police said the 16-year-old daughter of the residents of the home -- John Butler, 54, and Stacie Butler, 54 -- had invited friends over after a banquet at St. Anthony's High School in Melville.
Other teenagers who didn't know the residents also were at the party, police said.
John and Stacie Butler were arrested and charged with endangering the welfare of a child. Police said both were released after posting bail.
The sick girl was taken to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital Medical Center in East Patchogue for treatment.
Police said the hospitalized girl is not the couple's daughter.
At the Butlers' home Sunday, nobody came to the door.
Suffolk County's social-host law -- which targets adults who allow minors to drink at their homes -- did not apply to this arrest because officers did not witness drinking, a police spokeswoman said.
A first-time offense under that law is a violation, which is not a crime.
Endangering the welfare of a child -- the charge against the Butlers -- is a misdemeanor, a more serious charge and criminal in nature.
Jeffrey Reynolds -- executive director of the Long Island Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependency, a nonprofit group geared to reducing alcohol and drug abuse -- said "arrests under Suffolk's social-host law do seem to be an anomaly and are infrequent," possibly owing to constitutional issues that can arise regarding private property.
"Too many parents believe that underage drinking is 'safer' when done in a finished basement or family backyard, yet that notion flies in the face of everything we know about potential health and safety consequences associated with minors consuming alcohol," Reynolds said.
"The social host law was passed by the legislature to send a clear message to parents that underage drinking is not OK, yet without enforcement, the law is meaningless," Reynolds said.
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Posted 3/25/13 7:49 AM  |
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StaceyWill
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Ugh! This drives me nuts!!
A very close friend of mine is one of those who think that it’s safer for underage kids to drink under adult supervision because ‘they’re gonna drink anyway’. That type of thinking makes me crazy…
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:12 AM |
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StarsStripes
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I agree, if you have kids in your house it is your responsibility to watch them. I know it isn't easy, but 24 kids on your property and you don't know they are drinking??? C'mon.
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:12 AM |
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saraH
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by StaceyWill
Ugh! This drives me nuts!!
A very close friend of mine is one of those who think that it’s safer for underage kids to drink under adult supervision because ‘they’re gonna drink anyway’. That type of thinking makes me crazy…
My mil thought the same way. When my bil's were younger there were always parties at their house. I hated it. I think it just teaches kids not to be responsible. My girls will not be drinking in my house before their old enough.
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:22 AM |
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CrankyPants
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I would be ticked as the parent of one of the kids there drinking. Who are you to allow my kid to drink at your house?
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:25 AM |
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Erica
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
At first I thought that they may not have known since it was in an apartment, but I guess it was loud enough for the neighbors to call 911
They think it's OK for their kids to drink underage, but I bet they would't let them take out their car underage!
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:29 AM |
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nferrandi
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I was a teenager in a different time. We had underage drinking parties almost every weekend. My parents would not allow me to host one, because they didn't want the responsibility. But I was allowed to attend them under one condition- my mom called every party to make sure there would be a parent supervising. As long as there was an adult there, I could go. If the police did show up, it was to tell us to keep the noise down, not break up the party.
I honestly wish it was still like that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do believe teenagers are going to drink anyway. It is safer for them to do it under the watchful eye of an adult.
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| Posted 3/25/13 9:23 AM |
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by nferrandi
I was a teenager in a different time. We had underage drinking parties almost every weekend. My parents would not allow me to host one, because they didn't want the responsibility. But I was allowed to attend them under one condition- my mom called every party to make sure there would be a parent supervising. As long as there was an adult there, I could go. If the police did show up, it was to tell us to keep the noise down, not break up the party.
I honestly wish it was still like that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do believe teenagers are going to drink anyway. It is safer for them to do it under the watchful eye of an adult.
I didn't drink until college, so I think it really depends on the kid/parenting.
I don't feel that teens are going to drink anyway; JMO.
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| Posted 3/25/13 10:09 AM |
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nrthshgrl
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
I didn't drink until college, so I think it really depends on the kid/parenting.
I don't feel that teens are going to drink anyway; JMO.
I definitely think that MOST teenagers will drink or at least try to drink even if they have nowhere to do it.
But I completely disagree with being the host of a party of underage drinking. I get that my kids will try it but having it at my house is condoning it.
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| Posted 3/25/13 11:20 AM |
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I didn't drink in highschool and to my knowledge, neither did my sister. I don't think it should be the assumption that kids will drink anyway. I think we need to educate our children of the dangers.
To each his own on their feelings but I think some of the underage drinking is the parents fault for not knowing what their kid is doing. And even more so the parents fault for allowing it if they did know.
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| Posted 3/25/13 2:00 PM |
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brownie
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by nrthshgrl
But I completely disagree with being the host of a party of underage drinking. I get that my kids will try it but having it at my house is condoning it.
ITA...I'm glad there are laws against 'social hosting'. I really have a problem with parents that do this.
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| Posted 3/25/13 2:42 PM |
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rsquared
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I think its fine to let a teenager have a drink here and there with family. My mom would let us have wine or champagne for a special occasion when we were that age, but that is your parenting decision. Letting other kids over undermines those parents' specific feelings about how to handle alcohol when it comes to their kids.
I do agree that if a teenager wants to experiment with drinking, they will find a way, but that does not mean that the parent should give them carte blance to do whatever they want.
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| Posted 3/25/13 3:27 PM |
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JennZ
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Posted by nferrandi
I was a teenager in a different time. We had underage drinking parties almost every weekend. My parents would not allow me to host one, because they didn't want the responsibility. But I was allowed to attend them under one condition- my mom called every party to make sure there would be a parent supervising. As long as there was an adult there, I could go. If the police did show up, it was to tell us to keep the noise down, not break up the party.
I honestly wish it was still like that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do believe teenagers are going to drink anyway. It is safer for them to do it under the watchful eye of an adult.
I didn't drink until college, so I think it really depends on the kid/parenting.
I don't feel that teens are going to drink anyway; JMO.
Do you know any teenagers now? Because they are all drinking. They were drinking when I was in HS, they're doing it now. And sadly drinking is the lesser of all evils compared to what else they are doing.
Not thinking they drink, party, have sex, is completely naive.
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| Posted 3/25/13 3:31 PM |
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w8andsee
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by CrankyPants
I would be ticked as the parent of one of the kids there drinking. Who are you to allow my kid to drink at your house?
Wouldn't it be your child's responsibility to know not to drink?
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| Posted 3/25/13 4:40 PM |
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Lannasmama
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by JennZ
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Posted by nferrandi
I was a teenager in a different time. We had underage drinking parties almost every weekend. My parents would not allow me to host one, because they didn't want the responsibility. But I was allowed to attend them under one condition- my mom called every party to make sure there would be a parent supervising. As long as there was an adult there, I could go. If the police did show up, it was to tell us to keep the noise down, not break up the party.
I honestly wish it was still like that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do believe teenagers are going to drink anyway. It is safer for them to do it under the watchful eye of an adult.
I didn't drink until college, so I think it really depends on the kid/parenting.
I don't feel that teens are going to drink anyway; JMO.
Do you know any teenagers now? Because they are all drinking. They were drinking when I was in HS, they're doing it now. And sadly drinking is the lesser of all evils compared to what else they are doing.
Not thinking they drink, party, have sex, is completely naive.
ITA. The things kids are doing now is mind boggling!
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| Posted 3/25/13 4:41 PM |
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Trust me, I'm a social worker.
I'm not naive. My husband was also a crazy kid whose parents heads were in the sand.
But with that said, I also don't think it's okay to take the attitude that "well all kids do it".
Because no, not all kids do.
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| Posted 3/25/13 4:59 PM |
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NaturalMom
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Trust me, I'm a social worker.
I'm not naive. My husband was also a crazy kid whose parents heads were in the sand.
But with that said, I also don't think it's okay to take the attitude that "well all kids do it".
Because no, not all kids do.
I agree with you. My parents were strict and so were my friends parents. Neither I nor my friends would get drunk during high school. We may have had drinks once or twice but that was senior year when we turned 18 and started going to clubs. Even then we would not get drunk because we had to go to someone's house for the night and their parents would know if we were drinking.
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| Posted 3/25/13 5:58 PM |
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by NaturalMom
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Trust me, I'm a social worker.
I'm not naive. My husband was also a crazy kid whose parents heads were in the sand.
But with that said, I also don't think it's okay to take the attitude that "well all kids do it".
Because no, not all kids do.
I agree with you. My parents were strict and so were my friends parents. Neither I nor my friends would get drunk during high school. We may have had drinks once or twice but that was senior year when we turned 18 and started going to clubs. Even then we would not get drunk because we had to go to someone's house for the night and their parents would know if we were drinking.
I also don't like the dismissive attitude that people take that alcohol is not as bad as other stuff out there.
I sometimes think back to some of the things I did when I was drunk in college and in my 20's, and wonder how I made it out alive.
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| Posted 3/25/13 6:05 PM |
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luvmyReese
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Member since 1/08 7542 total posts
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Catt
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I was raised by a cop and had that "fear" which kept me sober for my teen yrs. He was strict, I had a curfew and he was always awake when I came home to give me a check-up. The booze was not worth it to me..I had a lot of fun in my teens WITH OUT drugs, alcohol or sex. This is what I want to instill in my own children. I did experiment with alcohol when I was 18-19 yrs old and it was bad..lol...lesson learned. Did I drink before 21? yes but the way I was raised and choices I made for myself have kept me out of trouble.
Last Sunday at a St.Patricks day parade I overheard 4 teens (no more then 15 yrs old) talk about mixed drinks with Vodka ..this was after a Vodka sponsored float went by they even screamed "We want some!!" as it drove by...I was shocked and saddened.
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| Posted 3/25/13 6:53 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by w8andsee
Posted by CrankyPants
I would be ticked as the parent of one of the kids there drinking. Who are you to allow my kid to drink at your house?
Wouldn't it be your child's responsibility to know not to drink?
Yes but they're a CHILD, they make mistakes, they don't think about consequences sometimes...you wouldn't want their mistake to be one where they get sick, God forbid die or kill someone else. You would hope others who interact with your kid also obey the law and don't encourage your kid to break the law (because it is encouraging them, giving them a 'safe' place to drink--but it's still not safe). This is where the idea 'it takes a village to raise a child' comes into play
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| Posted 3/25/13 7:48 PM |
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luvmyReese
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Catt
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Quick question...how do these kids get home after drinking at a party where there WAS an adult? Is the adult that is supervising the drinking responsible to make sure these kids get home safely?
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:01 PM |
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Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
I also don't think ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL kids drink underage.
I know a girl in high school........her mother actually taught there.....and STILL teachers there, I believe.....she would have parties.
Drinking parties. There would be weed, liquor, beer. It would be held in the basement (they had a bar set up). TONS of kids would go. Beer pong outside, etc.
The mom, WHO WORKED AT THE SCHOOL, knew. She wasn't locked in her bedroom. She would be seeing kids she taught drinking beers..she'd be finding the bottle opener for them, practically.
At 15, I thought it was SO weird..but I look back now, as an adult, and find it grossly inappropriate and can't imagine that she never got caught.
All that aside......I never drank (besides trying a sip) until I was in college........18....and left to my own devices.
When I was at those parties, at 15, 16, 17..I never drank. I wasn't a prude, it just wasn't something I felt ready for. I know I wasn't alone. A bunch of other kids went and didn't drink, too.
Message edited 3/25/2013 8:19:37 PM.
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:17 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by luvmyReese
Quick question...how do these kids get home after drinking at a party where there WAS an adult? Is the adult that is supervising the drinking responsible to make sure these kids get home safely?
I want to quickly clarify two things...
1- Most of the parties we either walked to or were dropped off and picked up by our parents. There was no sneaking around.
2- And also, I do believe many teenagers drink, but I never said all do. And just because I attended lots of these parties does not mean I got drunk at them.
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:22 PM |
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by nferrandi
Posted by luvmyReese
Quick question...how do these kids get home after drinking at a party where there WAS an adult? Is the adult that is supervising the drinking responsible to make sure these kids get home safely?
I want to quickly clarify two things...
1- Most of the parties we either walked to or were dropped off and picked up by our parents. There was no sneaking around.
2- And also, I do believe many teenagers drink, but I never said all do. And just because I attended lots of these parties does not mean I got drunk at them.
I know what you meant. Yes, many kids drink underage..or, at least, they try it once or twice. It's forbidden, and therefore, tempting......they also do it to experiment and fit in..reasons that adults don't drink for...adults drink because it's fun or they want to relax and escape KWIM?
A teenager's judgement zone of his or her brain isn't fulled developed until they are 24-25. That being said, I really dont think anyone should be making it easier to let kids drink, even in a safe environment, IMO.
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| Posted 3/25/13 8:35 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Sayville couple arrested for allowing underage drinking
Posted by JennZ
Posted by MorningCuppaCoffee
Posted by nferrandi
I was a teenager in a different time. We had underage drinking parties almost every weekend. My parents would not allow me to host one, because they didn't want the responsibility. But I was allowed to attend them under one condition- my mom called every party to make sure there would be a parent supervising. As long as there was an adult there, I could go. If the police did show up, it was to tell us to keep the noise down, not break up the party.
I honestly wish it was still like that. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I do believe teenagers are going to drink anyway. It is safer for them to do it under the watchful eye of an adult.
I didn't drink until college, so I think it really depends on the kid/parenting.
I don't feel that teens are going to drink anyway; JMO.
Do you know any teenagers now? Because they are all drinking. They were drinking when I was in HS, they're doing it now. And sadly drinking is the lesser of all evils compared to what else they are doing.
Not thinking they drink, party, have sex, is completely naive.
Not all kids are like this, and it isn't naive, it's the truth.
I hope I raise my kids not to be like this. If I mess up and my kids turn out like this I won't back it easy for them to participate in behavior I don't agree with, some of it against the law.
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| Posted 3/26/13 9:49 PM |
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