SAHD?

Anyone have or know a Stay At Home Dad??

My husband is a union man and it is fairly inevitable that he will be out of work in a few weeks (possibly for 2 years or more with the way things are looking now ).

He is great with the kids - but I don't know how great he will be if he is with them ALL THE TIME!!

And to be honest - I am jealous. If he gets to stay home - even though it wouldn't be by choice - I am going to feel guilty and sad because I don't have that same option. I want to spend more time with the kids!!!

I can't tell him that I would be jealous because then he would feel guilty.

I'm kind of just venting/rambling here..

Re: SAHD?

I know two SAHD's and each situation is different.

SAHD #1 was unemployed when the children were born so it kinda "worked out" that they didn't need day care. When the kids got old enough to go to school he decided he still didn't want to go back to work. He wasn't the best care provider, and my friend the working mom found herself working full-time, and still doing the housework, finances, and caring for the kids as soon as she got home. It was great that the kids were with a parent, but the dad kinda "played" with the kids instead of parenting them. And the mom resented the dad for the amt of time he could spend with the children.

SAHD #2 was a teacher who took a leave of absence while the children were under 5. The mom traveled a lot for work and was climbing the corporate ladder, so it made more sense for the dad to take time off. The sales office was in their town, so the dad would bring the children to the mom when it was time to nurse, and it worked out wonderfully. BIG success story.

Re: SAHD?

fm "I'm the Kevin of Cindy and Kevin" he was a SAHD for his DD for 2 years & did an AWESOME job...you should see how close they still are today.

My DH worked nights & took care of our DD during the day (but only for 3 months).

Re: SAHD?

well, right now my DH is a SAHD but not by choice! he lost his job in january and is still out of work
anyway, although i am on maternity leave i am now working part time but am out a lot during the week so DD is really under his care.
he is phenomenal with her but i too wonder if it would be a good set up to have him be her #1 care taker. he isn't really willing to do outside classes with her (like library classes) he does put on the tv a little too much for her and is not as nurturing as me...for lack of a better word.
since this is supposed to me my maternity leave year i am a little jealous too some days as i leave for work and they get ready to go to the beach. it is hard.
there are days i think it is a great set up and days when i think DD will be better off with me or in daycare where she can socialize and learn more.
i try to not say too much negative stuff to him since he is out of work and that is hard enough! i just tell him he is doing a great job-and he really is.
p.s. another positive of this is that DH and DD are very close and it is awesome.

Message edited 5/30/2008 10:51:16 PM.

Re: SAHD?

DH is a teacher so he will be a p/t SAHD this summer. I've made the decision to send DS to daycare for 2 half days just so that he doesn't forget them and so that he has some scheduled social interaction that I know DH will not provide for him like I would. And yes, I resent it. I want it to be me. I think he knows I resent it. But I guess it is a little different because he isn't unemployed.

Re: SAHD?

my dh is sort of a sahd. he is a firemen so when he is off he has the kids. when we are both working my parents or in laws watch the kids. my dh has been off fully for 2wks and has had them most of the time.

I of course resent the time not spent with me but financially it works for us. He does a good job around the house and with them but I wish it was me. In his defense too, the house is much better with hime then with me I will be home all summer b/c I teach so I am looking forward to that.

Good luck.

Re: SAHD?

My dad's girlfriends son in law has been a stay at home dad for over 6 years. The moved down to Virginia on her NY salary and he stays home with the kids. They purposely did that because had they stayed in NJ he would have to work and the kids would be in day care. He is incredible with the kids!!

My next door neighbor is a sahd also. But he hasn't worked in 3-4 years-- he is supposed to be disabled-- NOT -- but whatever now they had a baby in July. We have seen this kid 3 times since she was born. They never take her out for walks or in the back yard- very strange.eeeeeee

My DH works nights and I work days so he is a sahd with the kids in the morning.

Yes I resent having to HAVE to work.

Re: SAHD?

My DH was/is a SAHD. We both lost our jobs a few months before I was preggo. After doing the math, we figured it would not make much sense to pay for full-time infant care on what DH was bringing home, if he were to get another job. I had made more money previouslly anyway. I then started my own consulting business and DH stayed home with DD from when she was about 3 months old, until 17 months. He did "care" for her, but not the same way I do things. He cooked about 60% of the time. We have a cleaning lady, so that wasn't a problem. I did find though, as soon as I walked in the door, I got handed the baby, and sometimes I also had to figure out/make something for dinner which I didn't think was fair

As my business started to grow, I started working from home more..and DD wanted only me, and not DH when we were both home. But as she got older and into everything, I found it impossible to work from home with a toddler. At 17 months I put DD into daycare full-time (M-F 8:30-3).

So, now DH is still home and searching for what he wants to be when he grows up I work from home 3 days a week and I go to a particular client 2 day a week and DD is in daycare.

Message edited 5/31/2008 6:46:17 AM.

Re: SAHD?

DH's friend is a SAHD and he taugt the kids another language while he has been home.

Re: SAHD?

DH has been a temprorary SAHD since being out of work. He is loving it and is really doing a great job. If this were permanent, he would be very good at it, but we could never afford that....

Re: SAHD?

DH is a SAHD and he is probably better than me at it. He is great with DD. He works nights and I work 4 days a week. I feel DD is benifiting by having BOTH her mommy and daddy watching her. I wish I could be with DH more I come home he leaves but we save on daycare and we both wanted to be with DD and we were able to make that happen. LUCKY US.