Pressure to have a baby girl

My MIL (mother to 2 boys) is obsessed with getting a granddaughter (she currently has a grandson), and is constantly saying how she hopes it's a girl. Talk about pressure! How should I deal with this? I feel like I'll disappoint her if it's a boy.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Well shes got no choice what the baby is.. your DHs sperm already said what it is. so she might as well deal with the fact that a grandchild is a grandchild regardless of gender.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

you shouldn't worry or stress yourself over something you have NO control over...she will be happy with a boy or a girl....brush it off...don't worry!!!!

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Ugh. I hate that!! My friends mother is putting a ton of pressure on her to have a girl as well (she has 2 boys already).

I just thinks its awful that people would do that. Who cares??

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

what is wrong with people

my MIL keeps telling people she wants all boys because girls are "friggen ridiculous"

gee, thanks!
Like I care what YOU want!
Maybe I'll have 8 girls for you

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I feel you. I just told my MIL on saturday and all day she kept calling the baby SHE. ****** my DH off cause he really wants a boy. i have to shut them both up.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

My MIL wanted a boy and my mom wanted a girl (basically so I would have teenage years payback time, LOL)

I had a DS...but after he was here, it didn't matter at all, he was just loved period. Hard to look at a newborn and not just love them, no matter the sex..so dont worry!

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I don't understand comments like that . The only thing anyone should care about is a HEALTHY baby . Not to mention, this is something that people have no control over so why say anything ?

I know both my Dh and father would love a but neither would say anyting about it since all that matters is a healthy baby

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I think that's a comment she shouldn't say out loud to you. Either way I think she isn't thinking when she says it. She will be so excited when your baby is born, it won't matter anymore.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I totally felt the pressure, but to have a boy. I hated feeling like I was going to let people down. I kind of resented that people opened their mouths, but unfortunately that's what they do without thinking sometimes.

Now that I've found out it's a , everyone is still equally as excited. I was most concerned about my BIL...he was so hung up on having a boy (and he has health issues so it meant even bigger to him than anyone) that I really hoped it wouldn't bring him down. But he calls and asks every day "How's my niece doing?" I especially love how excited DH has been to have a 'daddy's little girl.'

I know it's a rough thing to be faced with...and I struggled with the same feelings as you. The gender preference will go away once they see this as a real person to be loved!

Message edited 2/17/2009 10:21:32 AM.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

My MIL got me so upset when I was pg with my first. We didn't know what we were having and all she wanted was a girl (she has 2 sons also). And she made it well known that she wanted a granddaughter. Well, she got a grandson and she wasn't dissappointed at all. I knew she wouldn't be but it was just so hard hearing her talk while I was pg. I just tried to ignore her. I mean, what else could I do??? I know how you feel.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I can totally relate. My parents keep saying how they want my baby to be a girl. Well, I'm feeling like it is a boy and I'm so upset thinking about how disappointed they are going to be. It isn't like we can control it, I think it's awful to say such a thing.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I dealt with some of this. Since I already had a little boy, my family wasn't shy about telling me how much they hoped the next would be a girl.

Well, I'm blessed with another little boy and I almost dreaded telling them. It really was a terrible feeling and I was angry with them for making me feel like somehow my second son was less celebrated than a daughter would have been.

Ultimately, I got through it by focusing on my own happiness of having 2 little boys and making no secret of how happy I was that I was going to be the mother of 2 boys.

If I go for a third I will not be sharing the gender, though. It would be upsetting for me if they made a big deal about a little girl or basically ignored another boy. They can just find out when he or she is born.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

My in-laws desperately want a girl - they already have 2 grandsons. We aren't finding out what we are having - which drove MIL crazy and my response whenever they say anything about a girls is, "well it is what it is and we'll all love it either way". It's never been a thing w/ my family and my parents had 5 granddaughters before the first boy came along. I just kinda don't get it. I mean it's not like we have any control over it so I just don't let it bother me.
For some reason DH and I really feel like we are having a boy...I'm sure they'll still be happy.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I really don't understand the attitudes some people have...all we mommies care about is a healthy baby. that's all anyone should care about. I am so glad I dont have this pressure in my life. I cant even imagine how bad I would feel.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

that is infuriating I feel your pain bc I was pregnant with DS< the tech said 99% boy and my parents were saying oh there is still a 1% chance it's a girl WTH!???!?! number 1, I wanted a boy, number 2 these ppl had 2 girls already ( my sis and I) Isn't that enough!!!! ?

My Inlaws, never say anything but I know they want a little girl. they have 4 sons, and now 3 grandsons, there are NO GIRLS in the family

Message edited 2/17/2009 2:40:46 PM.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

Posted by myson220

My MIL got me so upset when I was pg with my first. We didn't know what we were having and all she wanted was a girl (she has 2 sons also). And she made it well known that she wanted a granddaughter. Well, she got a grandson and she wasn't dissappointed at all. I knew she wouldn't be but it was just so hard hearing her talk while I was pg. I just tried to ignore her. I mean, what else could I do??? I know how you feel.

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

hahahhaha i know what you mean...My FIL not only wants a granddaughter, he wants one that is BLONDE! lol He has much criteria....

I think it's harmless...or at least that is my opinion one someone says what type of sex they want. I mean even myself I'd love a girl, but if a boy came then they'd love him just as much!

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

I have 3 girls... and they are the first 3 grandchildren. My SIL is having the 4th grandchild and she's having a boy. They are all rooting for me to have a boy. It doesn't bother me now b/c I'm used to it. They did it before when I was pg with my girls. However as soon as the sono tech confirmed girl they were all out shopping. Once your little bean becomes a he or she, everyone's attitude changes. You'll see. It's all talk for now....

I have 3 girls and I'd have 3 more....

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

My parents have 2 grandsons and Inlaws have 4 grandsons!!! BOth were hoping for a girl. We are having a !!!

Re: Pressure to have a baby girl

IMO it's a ridiculous thing to allow people to put 'pressure' on you about - YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT -

There are a million and one 'other' CHOICES you will make that people will comment and try to pressure you into -

Remind ANYONE (DHs included) thate NO ONE has any control over the baby's gender - Who gives a flying *%@& if your MIL is disappointed ??

And honestly, that's what she's saying now, once that baby is born, she's NOT going to care - she's only going to care about the fact that she has a grandchild -

I have honestly NEVER met a man or woman who was TRULY disappointed with the fact they ended up having a healthry baby boy or girl regardless of what they thought they 'wanted' .........

Please don't let this stress you out